competitive parenting

[lisson]

I bumped into a mother from DS's year 6 class in town at the weekend. I don't really know her TBH, having only spoken to her a couple of times before. But we chatted about the weather for a minte or two and then she asked me if I'd had a letter home from school about DS doing the year 6 SATS? I told her yes, I did get one several weeks ago. She seemed unhappy at that she said but he didn't pass the test the teacher gave them to decide who'd be doing the level 6 SATS! I explained that the teacher had missed out two pages, and so when she remarked it, DS had passed. Then the other mother told me that her DS had got the best score in the class on that test.
After that, she started to say that other mothers in the school generally didn't parent as well as she did. That she was very committed to doing the best for her children and by way of example, she'd given up her high-flying career etc. At that point, I edged away.

AIBU to think that this is the epitome of competitive parenting that she not only remembers her own child's exact test results when they have done loads of tests since, but that she also knows my child's results?? And did she mean me when she talked about other people not doing their best for their children?

[lisson]

Also what did she think she was doing asking me if I got a letter when she clearly expected that I hadn't?

[Sugarice]

Aren't SATS compulsory, there's no choice is there or have things changed since ds3-13 left primary?

Ignore her and avoid in future, daft mare!

[lisson]

they introduced a level 6 sats. i am not sure when.. but I know it was around last year. its not optional if you get told to do it, but most children don't.

She is bonkers, isn't she? Its not me??

[daftdame]

Her behaviour would completely baffle me.

What would concern me is how she has access to information about your child before you do.

But then, she can't exactly do anything about what she clearly perceives as some unfairness. Maybe she was trying to vindicate her actions - giving up the 'high flying' career, then FAILED (wicked witch of the west moment!) because your child succeeded anyway!

Time to look smug or sympathetic if you can muster it!

[quoteunquote]

she going to really enjoy teenagers

[bellabelly]

Do not give this woman or her silly comments any space in your head! She sounds like an utter loon.

[Manyofhorror3]

Ugh, women who make their children into their career replacement! Run! Run fast!

[lisson]

I'm guessing that the children compared results when they got the test papers back. However, this was in January or February. She must have grilled her child for exact details on who got what when he came home that night. And then committed the results to memory.

The more I think about it, the weirder it is.


She doesn't even know me, or my background. I also gave up a good career when I had children.

Like the teenager comment - I think I'll enjoy watching that one unfold!

[Justforlaughs]

I'd be VERY surprised if any year 6 pupil memorised the results of other children in the class. I'd ask the teacher how this woman got that information and then run a mile/ hide behind a tree if I saw her again

[Finola1step]

Wow! Her poor kids! Nod, smile and back away. And kids do remember other kids scores (if the parent has been badgering them for info)

[lisson]

When i think of it, the previous time I spoke to her, she was trying to tell me about some multiplication test that her son had done three years previously! It was something like he'd got 100/100 in three minutes. She kept repeating it because I didn't respond. (I was still waiting for her to complete her sentence thinking she was about to tell me why it was worth mentioning.) So, she is nuts.