To not want my 10 year old DD to have a Blackberry

[CambridgeBlue]

I'm not against phones for her age per se - DD has had a basic one for a year or 2 as she travels a fair way to school and I wanted her to be able to contact me - but now she has asked for a Blackberry which I know several of her friends have got and I hate the idea.

It's mainly because of BBM. I've read (on here I think) that BBM messages are untraceable so if there's any bullying or other bad behaviour you have no proof. I also dislike the 'clique' mentality of it and the way DD says all the kids seem to do at parties now is sit around messaging each other (why?!) or playing with their phones instead of dancing/talking/whatever.

But I know what it's like not to be allowed something when everyone else is and to not feel like part of the crowd - I don't want to exclude DD from plans the others might make on BBM, she is already having issues with being left out by some of her 'friends'.

I love my gadgets as much as the next person so it's not that I don't want her to have a nice phone, I just disagree with Blackberries which of course makes them even more appealing .

AIBU to not get her one based on the reasons above?

No, I don't think YABU. Blackberry is a bit high tech for a 10 year old with all the net access and BBM like you mentioned, it will cause a lot of fall outs.

I'm not against phones either, but I think something more basic is safer for her!

From bitter experience - don't let her have a BB.

It causes a world of heartache.

Do you mind me asking why you say that Queen? Don't say if you'd rather not on here.

YANBU, don't get her one!

I didn't let either of my DC have a Blackberry - DD is hopefully going to get one for her next birthday - 14th! She has proved that she is very sensible using FB, etc, so I have no concerns now.
She has not missed out on anything AFAIK - stick to your guns!

My reason - step-daughter got one at the age of 11 and I would recieve crappy forwarded chain BBMs from her with all kinds of swear-words and bullshit in them. Once she had the phone, that was it, no taking it away from her (particularly as her mum had no beef with what she was doing...)

I think when she's a bit older I might relent especially if she'd proven herself to be sensible in other ways as bigTilly says, but 10/11 just seems too young.

Frances that sounds horrible, what a nightmare.

I don't know a lot about them myself, but dd2's (Primary) school has just had a whole lot of problems because some parents have let their dc have them, and there has had to be police involvement, Local Authority Child Protection Involvement, etc, as well as a whole heap of time the HT's had to be dealing with it all.
If that's not enough reason.....

It'll be something to look forward to when she gets older