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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

i think i am, come tell me off.

23 replies

HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 18:24

Dp got a new phone today. First thing he did was take a photo of dsd and set it as his wallpaper. Not a thought about our ds. They were both here so no reason he couldn't take one of them together.

The phone has 3 home screens, he has set another to a picture of a car and left the other as it was.

Aibu to be pissed off that he automatically just wanted a pic of dsd. It makes me think he favours her. I need to get a grip don't i? I am reading too much into it?

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 28/04/2013 18:25

You're reading way too much into it. It's his phone. Not a billboard announcing to the world that he loves his daughter best.

If he's like me, he'll change it within a week anyway!

MrGeresHamster · 28/04/2013 18:26

Did he take a photo of his car as the screensaver? That's more strange IMO...

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 28/04/2013 18:27

Have some fun, take a pic of your bum and set that as his screensaver Grin

likeitorlumpit · 28/04/2013 18:27

yanbu i would be annoyed. should treat them the same. i would never have a pic of just one of my kids as a screen saver.

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 18:30

tee that's what the rational side of me is trying to realise.

The car picture is some fantasy car, not our old rust bucket!

Haha my bum, good idea!

likeit that's my first reaction. I have all of my kids and dsd as my wallpaper, lots of little pics. I wouldn't leave any of them out but maybe I am being Daft.

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CabbageLeaves · 28/04/2013 18:31

I have a pic of DD3 on my phone screensaver. DD2 and DD1 seem more concerned about the fact I replaced a pic of them in the hallway with my bicycle taken at the top of mountain Grin

It's small stuff

LunaticFringe · 28/04/2013 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 18:37

No lunatic not every day. Every Fri - sun and once or twice in the week. She is often at his mums when we to collect ds after work.

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MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 28/04/2013 19:05

I rotate my (four) children on mine:)
Then again sometimes I put the cats on there...

LunaticFringe · 28/04/2013 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treas · 28/04/2013 19:13

Does dsd live with you and dh or with his ex? If she lives with ex then why shouldn't he have a photo of her as wallpaper? I imagine that dh gets to see ds daily.

phantomnamechanger · 28/04/2013 19:13

I think it is because he sees her less and like to be able to see a picture between visits.
Your DS has the benefit of daddy being there all the time, right?

psychomum5 · 28/04/2013 19:27

I would say only get upset if he always does it....I would bet he will change it soon.

That said....on my phone I have my eldest two girls as my wallpaper, yet I have five children. Not thru any conscious thought bar that I liked that picture at the time, set it, and simply never changed it.

I like the bum picture idea tho Grin

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 19:37

I just thought he could of had a picture of them both together, they were both there when he took the picture.

I think I have read too much into it. Defensive mum seeing things that aren't there.

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RubyrooUK · 28/04/2013 20:26

Bless you HalfBaked, being "fair" about everything is a valuable mum skill. I have my two boys as my phone screensaver for that reason (even though it's not my favourite photo because DS1 looks like a loon Grin).

But DH has a variety of photos that he tends to rotate depending on when they were taken/how cute the relevant son looks/whether it was a special moment...he doesn't ascribe the same need to be "fair" to it at all. Actually even the explanation above is probably too deep.

And I have to admit that if my DS1 didn't live with me, I might have his pic on my phone too. It wouldn't mean I loved DS2 any less, just that I would be lucky enough to have him with me full time. I would miss DS1 so badly those other days. Knowing how much you love your children (as a good parent) it must be very hard to live apart from them.

HappyAsASandboy · 28/04/2013 20:34

My DH alternates the children each month, using a picture from the past month. This month DS is on there, next month it will be DD.

Unless you DS is upset about it (in which case you could encourage DS to talk to his father), I don't think you should waste hour worries.

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 20:40

Ds is only 9 months so he has no idea. Which probably makes it even more ridiculous.

Oh well I admit it IWBU. I don't think I would have noticed as much if they weren't both climbing all over him when he said dsd let me take ur picture, then set it as his screensaver.

I have now got a grip and will be setting channing tatum as my screensaver, saves any thought on fairness Haha.

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iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 28/04/2013 20:40

YABU but you are being a good sport about it Grin. I hope you didn't say anything to him.

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 21:03

I know I'm not getting aibu right am i? I should be adamantly declaring that ianbu and refusing to back down shouldn't I.

Nope didn't say anything, I had a sneaky suspicion I was being a bit petty!

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kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 21:18

You say you have "all (your) kids and dsd" as your wallpaper? How many other kids is that he has missed? Why is it just your ds being missing that bothers you?

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 21:28

I have 2 dc, dp has dsd and we have ds together.

It only bothers me about ds being missed off because he was there, they were all on the sofa together when he asked dsd to stand up so he could get her picture. My other dc were at their dads so not like they were deliberately left out. I know I am being pathetic though.

OP posts:
olibeansmummy · 28/04/2013 22:50

I don't think yabu necessarily, but I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Imagine what people would say if your dh had taken a pic of your ds and excluded your dsd... It does seem odd that he didn't just take them both together, but at the same time it's not the end of the world and doesn't mean he loves your ds any less.

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 28/04/2013 23:00

Thanks oli, a balanced view there I think. I won't mention it, that is the joys of mumsnet, a place to moan and whine without making a song and dance in Rl.

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