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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think dh mght be changing his mind?

27 replies

YoniOrNotYoni · 27/04/2013 22:50

We always planned two children, but dh was pretty shell shocked by fatherhood when ds arrived and said 'no more'. Ds is now two and dh remains adamant he wants no more. Tonight he randomly started a conversation about baby names. ("If we had another boy, we could call him...")

Is he changing his mind?

OP posts:
almostanotherday · 27/04/2013 22:50

Sounds like it to me Grin

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 27/04/2013 22:51
Grin
pictish · 27/04/2013 22:51

Hope so! Grin

thenightsky · 27/04/2013 22:52

Aye... sounds like it. Good luck Smile

AgentZigzag · 27/04/2013 22:53

I don't think anyone on here can tell you that with such a small OP Grin

But he could be trying to put out the feelers as to what it'd be like to have another. Possibly?

How is he normally in backing down or admitting he's wrong?

Some people are right bastards for not saying they might have been wrong and will cut off their nose to spite their face to avoid it, if that was the case I can see how hard it might be to bring it up and 'scare' him off.

Otherwise, just ask him why he brought it up? Maybe he didn't mean anything by it and won't even remember.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 27/04/2013 22:54

Sounds like he is changing his mind!!

I was convinced I wouldn't have any more after dd1, when she was 2 I sold all of her baby things at a car boot sale Sad now we have a 5 month old dd they would have come in very useful. Dh would have had another one straight away but I didn't feel that way until dd1 was 3 1/2.

Would you like to have another one now?

Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 27/04/2013 22:54

Yay Grin

I should probably jump him right now shouldn't I? Before he changes his mind?

OP posts:
Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 27/04/2013 22:58

I'd have had another one a year ago. He knows this. If I ask him directly he says no chance. I did say 'another one?' with a raised eyebrow when he suggested the name and he said something along the lines of 'hypothetically..' but nowmI'm trying not to push it.

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 28/04/2013 09:08

In the same boat as you. DD is six we said no more. Now Ive changed my mind but he hasnt. So why does he say things like "If we had another it would probably be a boy " and "we would have to insulate the spare room for the baby " and " we could probably use the same car seat" Is there hope ? Grin

Jinty64 · 28/04/2013 10:17

There is always hope. Dh made a GP appointment to discuss "the snip" the day we registered ds2 he went ahead with the hospital consultation but then tried to persuade me that it would be more sensible for me to get "done" as I only had a few childbearing years left. I was only 33. I told him it was up to him what he did with his body but I would not consider it. I said if we ever had another I would get it done at the time (I knew it would be another c/s) but otherwise we would just need to take other precautions for the rest of our days.

The summer of 2003 he changed his mind. Ds3 arrived 3 years later.

Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 28/04/2013 20:52

Have you asked him Rowgtfc?

Pleased to hear from others that minds are changeable on this!

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 28/04/2013 22:00

He says no I am too old, Im 41! We spent last year trying to get me sterilised!

Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 28/04/2013 22:25

What would he do if there was an 'accident'?

OP posts:
Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 28/04/2013 22:26

Hang on, you spent last year trying to get sterilised but you want another child? Hmm

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 29/04/2013 22:13

Noooo, never too old. I was 42.6 when ds3 was born.

peeriebear · 29/04/2013 22:20

After DD2 DH said no more. I thought the same at the time but changed my mind after I had repairs done to postpartum scar tissue. DH didn't change his!
One day out of the blue he said "If we're going to have any more it should be sooner rather than later". 6 years after DD2, 7mo DS is now the most cuddled and adored baby in the world :)

NorksAreMessy · 29/04/2013 22:24

SEX THE BASTARD!

What are you doing here talking to us, you should be wearing whipped cream, handcuffs and a knowing smile by now Wink

Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 29/04/2013 23:08

Haha. We dtd after I started the thread [knowing smile emoticon] but now he has the lurgy so I'm staying well clear (although, now you mention it, I could cope with a cold if it meant a baby...)

OP posts:
NorksAreMessy · 29/04/2013 23:32

Heeheehee :)

You may name the baby ' Norks ' after me :o

Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 30/04/2013 06:22

Tempted, oh so tempted to start thread in Baby Names asking if Norks is suitable for, as yet imaginary, dc2.

OP posts:
NorksAreMessy · 30/04/2013 06:26

:o

Rowgtfc72 · 30/04/2013 07:40

Not likely to be an accident. I plan things, DD was very planned. I wake up in a cold sweat ten minutes after going to sleep if Ive missed my pill. Yes, we tried to get me sterilised, I didnt want anymore. Then I turned 41. Now babies are everywhere and everything is telling me I have one more in me. Including a very insistant six year old. (I think thats a perfect age gap btw!!) Am hoping it either wears off or DH changes his mind. Have told him statistically Im at no more risk than I was at 35 for all the age related things. Its 43 when the stats all go downhill !

NKffffffffabeee2d7X127640abcce · 30/04/2013 12:22

Accidents can happen....DH was adamant he didn't want a second child, and now adores DD2. Our family feels more complete in a funny way - love our little accident.

Original poster
YoniOrNotYoni · 30/04/2013 12:36

I suspect an 'accident' will be my way forward. Dh would be too stubborn to admit it if he's changed his mind. He knows I'm not on any contraception though, and he knows my cycle and my thoughts on another child. Any 'accident' will have his approval iyswim Grin

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 30/04/2013 12:58

I don't want to piss on your potential bonfire by saying that DH always mentions having more children JUST after I've had my coil changed. So it may just be a safe time for him to daydream?

I do hope your DH is changing his mind though!