about a cardigan knitted by my granny

[AhCmonSeriouslyNow]

I shall try to state this as factually as possible so excuse my any abruptness of tone.

My brother and his wife are due to have a baby next month after, very sadly, suddenly and unexpectedly, having their first child die the day after he was born.
I have 2 children as does my other brother. For each of these children, my granny knitted them 2 newborn size cardigans. She died 2 years ago.

I want to give one of the cardigans from my son, one he never wore, to my brother for his child.
My OH says that he doesn't want to give it away as he really felt that he had a connection with my granny in a way he doesn't with the rest of my family, had great respect from her (we were going to give her name to my son if he had been a girl). However,giving away this one cardigan, still leaves us with 3 - one that was too small for my daughter, the one she actually wore and the one my son actually wore.

Would I be unreasonable to just go ahead and send the cardigan to my brother anyway. It would be ages (if ever) before OH would notice.
Or should I respect his wishes on this?

Ah yes, thanks - I think I will go down the "look, my granny would have wanted them to have it" route and also say that I will ask for it back if he really wants to keep it here.

the thing about not wanting to have clothes before a baby is born is actually one of the reasons I thought of sending it as they, after last year's loss, are very reluctant to buy anything for this baby so I thought that I could send it to them/my mum so they'd have it once this baby arrives safe and well.

Cardigan aside, could you find some suitable reading material that covers baby and child death for your DH, It will be invaluable to future relationship between families, I don't think he quite has a grasp of what your DB and SiL are going through.

I think what you are doing is very appropriate, Your husband's response is worrying.

Sands

Oh, he was actually totally amazing and helpful at the time of my nephew's death. Everyone remarked on it.

I don't quite get what his angle is here (hence why I am asking if IABU as if I understood, I'd be able to gauge it better!).

Maybe it's just that he wants both of his children to have the two cardigans each that were knitted for them. I don't see anything wrong with the way he feels, lots of us are attached to the things that were given to our babies.

I'd try to persuade him but I wouldn't make him part with them if he really doesn't want to. It might be worth making sure that your SIL will like it and want her baby to wear it before you worry about it. Lots of people don't like their babies using second hand things, even if they are lovely things from family.

I know she would LOVE secondhand things, so that's not an issue.

I understand attachment to things given to our babies, it's why I still have the cardigans when almost everything else has been given away.
The thing is, I am pretty sure OH wouldn't be able to tell me which cardigan this is or what it looks like. Our son never wore it as the buttons are kind of pearly and OH thought it was a bit feminine ::) , he never showed any attachment to it when DS was a baby.

I think telling him that my granny would love this great grandchild to have it is something he might understand better (not sure why I didn't think of that before).