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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dp eating Dd's lunch

144 replies

ImIBeingTotalyUnreasonable · 27/04/2013 13:33

Dp always does this before Dd has had a chance to eat.

Today we got home at lunch, 19 month Dd is ready for a nap and hungry. Cue me rushing around cooking some spag bol. pasta for her lunch whilst 'D'p sits reading the paper. Dd is too tired to eat so I put her down for her nap. Meanwhile Dp has eaten all of Dd's lunch, which she would have eaten after her nap.

Now my question is what self respecting adult eats their child's food before they've had a chance to eat?! I'm sick and tired of telling him to give her a chance to eat before he eats her food. And it's not like we don't have any other food in the house either. It drives me absolutely nuts!

OP posts:
wonderingagain · 27/04/2013 13:36

[shocked] Never heard of anyone taking their child's food before they've eaten. Why do you think he does it?

TidyDancer · 27/04/2013 13:37

In that set circumstance, I think it was reasonable for the food to be eaten since as you say there was other food in the house.

Does he prepare food for her too? I think you would have more of an argument if it was you preparing the food all the time and him eating it all the time.

How frequently does this happen?

Finola1step · 27/04/2013 13:39

I take it that he is assuming that as your dd is asleep, then all food is fair game? And who will now make dd a second lunch?

YANBU. He is.

SantanaLopez · 27/04/2013 13:39

In those circumstances, I think YABU- why make it and then put her down to sleep? That's a waste of food.

boxofbricks · 27/04/2013 13:40

I wouldn't have bothered making spaghetti Bol if she was ready for a nap that's what sarnies are for

JacqueslePeacock · 27/04/2013 13:40

So let him make her something else when she wakes up from her nap!

SwishSwoshSwoosh · 27/04/2013 13:41

Is the food in one big pan or is dd's in a tub/plated up?

Have you actually told him to leave her meal and he is still doing it?

I think this is quite odd actually, if he knows it is hers and knows you want it left, he is making some kind of point.

LibertineLover · 27/04/2013 13:42

make more and do him a little bowl? do you ask if he's hungry? I would defo make him make her next meal!

FoxyRoxy · 27/04/2013 13:42

santana op clearly states she would have eaten it upon waking.

Yanbu for being annoyed if he consistently does this, and he can make her something to eat when she wakes up.

Original poster
ImIBeingTotalyUnreasonable · 27/04/2013 13:43

tidy yes there's other food in the house. So why doesn't he get off his backside and make some for himself. I make all Dd's food. And I often batch cook and portion up stuff for her to eat later in the week.

It happens regularly, almost weekly. To the point where I have to tell him to back off. When she's eating he'll be quick to clear away her food, whilst I will always encourage her to eat some more.

OP posts:
Marcheline · 27/04/2013 13:44

What? Really?

Is your partner her father? I cannot imagine DH eating DDs food before she's had a chance, a parent just doesn't do that.

Tell him to cook her some more food. I do agree though, unless you were just heating up leftovers, spagetti bolognaise is an odd thing to coook if you were in a rush?

VerySmallSqueak · 27/04/2013 13:45

That's a bit off!

It's 'proper food' and it's better for her to have that than something 'snacky' as a replacement.

I'm a real guts for finishing off what the kids leave but I absolutely make sure they've had their fill first.

YANBU.

Original poster
ImIBeingTotalyUnreasonable · 27/04/2013 13:45

It's not a waste of food. I would have reheated it for her to have later.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 27/04/2013 13:47

Oh a he's a greedy piggy.

Make her sandwiches for lunch, that's what my dd's practically always have for lunch. That way, if one of them needs a nap then the sandwich gets wrapped in cling film and then put in the fridge for when she wakes up.
We have hot dinners in the evening around 5.30 ourselves.

Yanbu it's rather rude.

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 27/04/2013 13:47

What an odd thing to do! Does he do it consciously, or sort of without thinking, as in, I'll just finish that off before I put the plate in the dishwasher?

What happens when she wakes up? Does he make her some more food? Why are her food and nap times so out of line, more to the point? Sounds like her falling asleep is a regular thing, in which case why not feed her earlier?

Original poster
ImIBeingTotalyUnreasonable · 27/04/2013 13:48

libertine why should I be making his lunch at 12. When he's sitting there reading the paper. He's an adult. If he's hungry then he should do something about it.

OP posts:
tinkertitonk · 27/04/2013 13:49

Why did you rush around making her spaghetti bolognese when she wanted to sleep?

Your DP is telling you that he finds your behaviour irrational and annoying.

Original poster
ImIBeingTotalyUnreasonable · 27/04/2013 13:50

We've been out all morning hence why she was more tired than usual. But she normally eats then has a nap.

OP posts:
ExcuseTypos · 27/04/2013 13:53

My DH came from a family where it was every man for himself at the table. His father used to just take food off their plate if they dared to put their knife and talk down for a break.

So DH used to think there was nothing wrong in doing the same to dd1 Hmm

I had to explain to him that it isn't normal behaviour to take your children's food off their plates. He never did it again.

I also had to have a word with FIL when he tried pinching something off dd1's plate. It came out that he'd gone to boarding school and they were always hungry Sad the older boys would just take food from younger boys if they got the chance.

I'd ask your DH what meal times were like in his house as a child.

Marcheline · 27/04/2013 13:53

tinker what about OP's behaviour is irrational and annoying?

OP, YANBU. He should have made himself something to eat if he was hungry. He is a grown man. WTAF is he doing eating her food? Sound like he is trying to make a point - either that he's a lazy arse or doesn't want DD to eat?! Bizarre.

ExcuseTypos · 27/04/2013 13:55

Thought tbh I wouldn't have made Spag Bol for a child and not asked DH if he fancied some.

SantanaLopez · 27/04/2013 13:56

You made one portion of spag b? That's a bit off to be honest.

Have you told him not to?

LibertineLover · 27/04/2013 13:58

Well, yes fair enough, but I would have thought as a family, who ever is cooking/making lunch should do so for everyone? Surely if he was hungry and you were cooking spag bol you wouldn't begrudge doing some for him?

Not justifying his eating her food, just wondering.

Corygal · 27/04/2013 13:58

Could it be accident rather than planned evil? I was at a christening once and was happily hoovering chopped carrots and the sausages on sticks (the vicar had rather gone on earlier). Cue purple-faced parents howling 'You've eaten food FOR THE CHILDREN". I thought they were for dipping.

LibertineLover · 27/04/2013 13:58

X-post :)