Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel uncomfortable putting make up on my 4 yo?

77 replies

Flojobunny · 27/04/2013 13:13

I know I am BU and I can't explain why.
I've always been one of these parents that said she can't wear nail vanish then I let her get her face painted and a local fete.
She is in a dance show on stage and I have to put foundation, eye shadow and lipstick on her. I've told myself its just stage make up and it isn't the same but as my DD puckers up and says I'm like a grown up now I feel rather uncomfortable with it all. Yet don't have a probably with her dressing up as a nurse or a policeman.
I'm BU aren't I.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojobunny · 27/04/2013 13:48

DD is loving it, at 4 yo she loves anything girly despite my disapproval!

OP posts:
WorriedMummy73 · 27/04/2013 13:48

Good Lord! Can't believe all the shit they put on kids! Dreading DD's 'run' now. I love her gorgeous little face exactly as it it. Don't want it caked in makeup.

PandaG · 27/04/2013 13:50

yes, makeup including lipstick and eyeshadow on boys and men as well as girls and women. NOT to look as though makeup is being worn, (for the girls, boys and men), but to look not washed out.

May also be to alter appearance - ie wrinkle lines or facial hair to look older which could be greasepaint or eyeliner.

I totally agree PPs who don't like the overmade up mini miss world style look, but greasepaint or ordinary makeup used to give a bit of colour under the lights is fine.

JustFoofy · 27/04/2013 13:52

Its a dance show. My DS and DD have both been in them and they both wear stage make up. It certainly hasn't compelled my DS (11) to walk around a la Grayson Perry neither has my DD (4) ever asked to wear make up at any other point apart from a bit of chapstick.

It's harmless and you're overthinking it.

5madthings · 27/04/2013 13:53

I love my boys just the way they are as well but for a stage production under lights they do all need the make up regardless if gender.

We used stuff for sensitive skin and it was wiped off as soon as they had finished. It was for a couple of hours and they had a great time :)

Pageants etc are a totally separate issue and I don't agree with them at all.

BinksToEnlightenment · 27/04/2013 14:17

It's only stage makeup. I don't think it's a big deal.

mrsjay · 27/04/2013 14:38

didn't say anything about a child, I was making a point about how awful i think it is to put a load of slap on a four-year old.

you said jailbait the musical that is a disgusting thing to think never mind say these are little kids, dance shows and make up go hand in hand doesn't make it right but there was no need to use such disgusting language about 4 yr olds being on stage with make up on,

mrsjay · 27/04/2013 14:40

child actors dancers wear make up to perform it is no big deal imo, kids on tv wear make up and they do for stage as well

Millais · 27/04/2013 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LimitedEditionLady · 27/04/2013 15:02

Sorry but its just for a show so i dont think its bad.if it was everyday or to parties then id say no its not nice because she would think her regular appearance isnt acceptable.im sure she will see it as just being in a costume and know its not needed.

LimitedEditionLady · 27/04/2013 15:09

A child prostitute worriedmummy?
Would you like that said about your child?i know its not aimed at that child but thats not acceptable.so if a child tales part in dance shows dressed as a swan or suchlike if they wear make up youd think that they look like a red light worker.great stuff.

taxi4ballet · 27/04/2013 15:14

I wouldn't have let my daughter wear make-up either at that age, unless it was for a dance show.

What other posters say about make-up being needed for the theatre are quite right. Stage lighting makes you look like a ghost if you don't wear it, especially if everyone else has it on and you don't!

I chaperoned some boys once for a ballet production (yes - boys DO do ballet!!!) and none of them wanted to wear make-up until I pointed out that the blokes off Top Gear and Match of the Day wear it for tv.

PickledLiver · 27/04/2013 17:03

Just because 'professional' kids on TV & stage use make up doesn't make it ok. Worried is right, they aren't Liza fecking Minnelli.

OH worked in cinematography and having to be caked in make up in order to not appear washed out under the lights is a bit of a myth. It's certainly not the make-up used for tarting up by grown ups, anyway.

therumoursaretrue · 27/04/2013 17:14

Don't think there's anything wrong with makeup on children for a stage show.
In my experience its used to put definition in so that eyes and lips can be seen properly and don't disappear under harsh lighting and and so skin doesn't look washed out.

I have photos from ballet performances I did as a child and it doesn't even look like I had makeup on when under the lights.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 27/04/2013 17:19

For a show, I do think it's necessary (although at the dance school I was at, the very little ones would have face paint done, swirly patterns, flowers etc depending on the character, rather than proper stage make-up), if the lights are harsh it does make a big difference (I learned this the hard way, I looked ill).

I think you just have to treat it as part of her costume, rather than as 'make up' if that makes sense?

Picturesinthefirelight · 27/04/2013 17:23

Yabu. Under bright stage lights without sine make up she will looked washed out and you won't be able to make out her facial features

I am ultra conservative and very anti make up but dd has worn it for ballet shows from a young age

I do dislike some of the make up some dance schools use. Her ballet school like natural foundation and rise coloured blusher and lipstick with natural eyeshadow. The first year I applied it very very lightly and realised when I watched the show that unfortunately dd looked a bit ghostlike

She's older now and did a twilight themed dance recently. For that we did the opposite and for once dusted white powder over very light foundation to create a deathly pale look!!! Coupled with purpely vampire lipstick!

squeakytoy · 27/04/2013 17:23

It is stage makeup for a show.. I used to be in pantomimes when I was a child, run buy our church, and we all had to wear stage make up..

There is nothing sinister or unusual about it.

Startail · 27/04/2013 18:18

YABU

Stage make up, is fun, it's dressing up, it's make believe.

I just don't get what the fuss is about. wearing make up for a dance show, a play or raiding Mum's make up scrap to play doesn't make you an orange panda teen.

Quite the reverse the over sexualised, over painted teens are the sort of girls who became embarrassed at doing doing anything like that, don't do fun and grow up to fast.

Being able to get in a stage made up and dressed up as someone your not and perform is a great confidence builder, because one day in a music exam or an interview you will have to be yourself and that really is hard.

Samnella · 27/04/2013 18:47

I think you are conflating issues:

Facepaint = childhood fun.

Stage make up = Fine. Its for a good reason and all are partaking. If it were just the girls I would say no.

Make up on little girls in general =Is up there with 'bras' for 6 year old and t-shirts saying 'If you think I'm a bitch you should meet my mum' IMO.

These are three completely separate scenarios. For me, I dislike make up on young girls as it is about the promotion of sexualising girls at a young age and enforcing the idea they need to promote their looks in some way.

I would be happy with the other two scenarios.

Remotecontrolduck · 27/04/2013 19:18

They need it as under the lights she'll look completely washed out and you wont be able to see her features properly

Fuss over nothing i'm afraid, I doubt they're wearing it to be pretty only, it's for a purpose.

mummytowillow · 27/04/2013 19:41

My DD is 5 and also in a dance show in July.

She has got to have shadow, mascara, hair scraped back the lot! Hmm

Its not something I'm completely happy with, but its two nights and not the end of the world Wink

Original poster
Flojobunny · 27/04/2013 22:37

Thankyou. Maybe I should have bought her some seperate makeup and said "this is stage makeup" rather than slap some off mums old makeup on! I wish the show had provided 'stage makeup' rather than just said they all have to wear foundation, lipstick and eye shadow, leaving me wondering what foundation to use.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 28/04/2013 10:52

Quite the reverse the over sexualised, over painted teens are the sort of girls who became embarrassed at doing doing anything like that, don't do fun and grow up to fast.

This is really interesting and I agree with you that these girls think they are too cool to have fun,

mrsjay · 28/04/2013 10:53

flojo why dont you get her her own little make up kit just for dancing then you might feel better about it,

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 28/04/2013 11:05

yes get her a set as 'stage make up' only. I agree if I had a dd I would be uncomfortable with the grown up bit of make up but do understand that some little girls do like all the 'girly stuff' and want to experiment and copy mum. I know when I was little we loved wearing mums heels and dressing up and used those liquorice torpedo sweets as lipsticks Grin as a plaything I don't really see the harm as long as its seen as play and not 'being grown up' or linked to body image eg: oh how pretty you look etc etc

Swipe left for the next trending thread