in not wanting DS to watch tv aimed at adults?

[TheOrchardKeeper]

DS is 2 and a half. I know it's each to their own really and there are no 'rules' but had a disagreement with DP about this as he believes they don't understand yet so it doesn't matter if they're watching something with a 15/18 age rating.

I can't seem to find any conclusive evidence online so wondered what everyone else generally goes by? A lot of material just says they understand the basic concept of things & cause/effect but it's very basic. It just feels really wrong if something quite violent/sexual is on.

I don't think I'm being PFB but maybe I'm just being totally precious and am happy to be told so

I don't think we've ever watched violent stuff around the DC, but somewhere around 2 was my cut-off for general not-meant-for-children (not that we actively showed it to them but, for example, a jetlagged DD1 aged about 21 months would come and snuggle with me and DH while we were watching House and I wouldn't turn it off, which I would have done a few months later. Something like GoT would have been a no-no right from the start, though)

Showed DP this thread. Think he feels a bit bad now tbh but i'd rather that than risk him ever watching something he shouldn't in front of DS when I'm not around!

Thank you ladies

And I've never let him see/hear anything like G.O.T since he was born. Some things are just a no go straight away I think!

And he's quite sensitive to loud arguments too (like if he can hear our neighbors arguing, which happens a lot) so I don't feel comfortable having anything on that has adults arguing (i.e. soaps) in it, let alone violence.

I didn't realize U rated films were 4+ tbh...

DD1 hated Eastenders trailers, which are always the arguments, and pick up adult emotions very easily. Therefore I was very careful not to have adult films, drama or the news on around her.

DD2 BF forever, but would cuddle up to me and not look at the TV as long as you used subtitles. Still as she BF to school age, and beyond, obviously sexual and violent stuff was a no. Apart from anything else she could read the subtitles long before she stopped feeding.

he may not understand what it is going but it can sink in he can become apathetic ( is that the right word) to what he sees, so for example if it is a fight violent scene then if he has been exposed to it from a toddler age he wont see anything wrong in it, I hope i made sense YANBU let him watch cbeebies and leave the adult stuff for adults, same with video games imo

That's how I feel mrsjay

I don't want him to see anything that might scare him/desensitize him/wind him up/upset him or normalize violence (as I said, we're dealing with a mild hitting phase so I don't want him to see anything that contradicts the message that hitting isn't a good way to behave)

I think DP gets it now, thankfully. (He halfheartedly let it drop last night but I didn't believe that he wouldn't 'relax' the rules if I wasn't around iyswim).

Thanks for all the replies. I feel a lot less OTT now!

His dad needs to just let it go and watch his stuff when your toddler isn't around, he may sigh and think you are a bit loony but your not

Glad you feel better.

I watched adult shows (not sweary/violent - but talking about adult concepts etc) around DD for longer than I did with DS, because she really didn't seem to pay any attention, whereas DS did from very young. Even at a few months old an argument on TV would upset him and he would cry.

As DD has got older I've realised that personality wise she finds it harder to say when she is scared/doesn't like something, and we have to be very careful about what she watches.

The U films being 4+ is that an average child of 4 would not be upset by the content, and the PG is an average child of 8 would not be upset. Not a 'do not show before this age' like an 18 certificate.

Idmb is a good website, it has info on films (older ones to) and under the contents bit (need to scroll down the page quite a way) there is often a parents guide. This gives info on what the sexual references, scary parts, profanities, etc are in the movie. I've found it quite useful as my 5 yr old can be scared quite easily (she cried at one Peppa Pig episode and at pop-up books!).

Oh ok

He has a few faves that go on if I need to urgently do something (Toy Story/Cars being the main two). I think he finds the creepy toys in TS a little scary but not majorly!

I'll keep the Idmb site in mind for future reference when he's a bit older, thanks!

Controlling what my children see on TV is one of the hardest things i find in parenting as its a fine line and different for each child. We watch no adult tv when the children are awake so no news, soaps or anything that isnt a cartoon.

My inlaws let my son watch top gear and total wipe out, which ví m fine with but i had to ask them not to let him watch the news.

I believe thay take it all in.

The hard part is son is 4 and all his friends at school is in to super heros. Iron man, batman, superman and spiderman. Most marval avangers cartoon are 12 rated and the films are 12 rate. I think its cos of the fighting and vilonice but i feel bad he is the only one to not see them. So i compramised and sat with him and had a cousion to cover his eyed and explained what was happening and talked to him about the film.

He has never had a nightmare or said he is scared. Even if i hadent showen him he would still be play fighting amd pretending to shot people at school by copying his.friends.

I have never rowed in front of him, never let him have a toy gun and he has never hurt another child but im still worried i made the wrong call on letting him see avangers film even with covering his eyes or skipping the unsuitable parts :(

Controlling what my children see on TV is one of the hardest things i find in parenting as its a fine line and different for each child. We watch no adult tv when the children are awake so no news, soaps or anything that isnt a cartoon.

this My dds are way older than too I have always been quite laid back but tv and films were my thing I got het up about, dh used to play console games and I was really twitchy about it being on infront of them.

fwiw I can remember being allowed to watch all sorts as a kid nobody cared and I think this is where my strictness comes from,

Prime example, me and DP watching you've been framed. DS sat there transfixed, then cried! Made me think, it is totally awful. People laughing at others hurting themselves! This has made me think about what we watch around him.

Then again DS is my pfb and he's not even allowed to watch cbeebies so....

This can kind of be applicable. Seeing how toddlers reference real-world and pictures. Interesting.
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022096509001301

Mrsjay thats same as me. As a child i watched nightmear on elm street, hudson hawk and the star trek movies. I had lots of nightmears. My siblings are 6 & 10 years older than me and my mum just didnt think about the affect it had on me.

The worse thing is once the child has seen it you cant get it back out of their heads.

We have an xbox and the only games we have are sonic or lego batman/indianna jones. There is fighting and swords and bombs in the lego games but its lego bits but still son got upset when indies dad got hurt and his lego legs came off :(
We had to explain it was lego and its just to show he was hurt/needed mending and that indie would make him better/build him again :( he is ok with it now but its so hard keeping him a child and keeping his knowledge level with his peers :(

My mum has no idea but as a kid I'd sneak downstairs and watch tv really quietly sometimes.

I saw enough to give myself recurring nightmares about a few things & it's weird how some of it's stayed with me even though it's not really very scary from an adult's perspective. I wish I hadn't, as I had some horrid nights as a kid as a result. (Still never fessed up).

I guess that's made me extra worried about him seeing something he shouldn't.

I know one day he'll be a 14 year old at a teen-boy sleepover, watching/playing things he's not really supposed to that've been snuck in etc but right now he's just a toddler who has no real choice in the matter so I'm making that choice for him & hoping it's the right one!

god my last post full of typos [blush* air of hope i watched horror films at 8 scared me half to death but because I was allowed to watch I thought it was ok,

Mrsjay strange question but do you still talk to your mum? Have you talked to her about the films/childhood?

Sorry its abit personnal and you dont have to answer

You have to be really careful, I would esp. as they get to 2/3 when they are more likely to copy dialogue off tv.

I feel very strongly about this, its something I really worry about,