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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask the neighbours not to mow the lawn in the evening?

33 replies

CrunchyFrog · 26/04/2013 15:54

Or to ask them to let me know if they're going to do so?

DS`1 has severe allergy to grass pollen. On Tuesday he had a reaction despite being indoors, with doors and windows closed, to the neighbour mowing the lawn. It seems more severe in the evenings. He had to go to the OOH GP and had a day off school due to the swelling and wheezing.

I don't know if it's overstepping the boundaries of neighbour though. Also, he's a big drinker, and I find him very intimidating.

The neighbour was here last year when DS1 had an attack that required an ambulance - again, it was evening mowing that triggered it. Neighbour knows this.

Really, WWYD? I feel that asking would be horribly U, but it's not very fair on DS1 to have time off school/ frightening allergy attacks either.

OP posts:
Fancydrawers · 26/04/2013 15:55

You could ask, and I feel for you, but he would be well within his rights to say no.

SantanaLopez · 26/04/2013 15:56

Does time of day really make such a difference? How terrifying.

youmeatsix · 26/04/2013 15:57

well, if you were my neighbour, and explained to me, i would be more than happy to work around you where i possibly can.

PatPig · 26/04/2013 15:57

You can ask him, but he can say no.

hellsbellsmelons · 26/04/2013 15:58

All you can do is explain and ask nicely.
If he says 'NO' then at least you tried.
Out of interest, why is evening pollen worse than daytime?
I really have no idea, just curious.

Sirzy · 26/04/2013 15:58

does the neighbour work? if so perhaps evenings are the only time he can do it?

I would have a word, if you were my neighbour I would be happy to help if I could.

TigOldBitties · 26/04/2013 16:01

You can ask, but be prepared for him to say no, realistically its his home and he should be able to cut the grass whenever he chooses. I think that maybe you need to speak to GP or an allergy specialist.

It's a short term fix surely. What if you go out, or are on holiday and the same thing happens? I would focus so trying to find a way that you can exert some control over the issue as opposed to altering the behaviour of others, as a neighbour you have some influence but you can't control everybody.

Original poster
CrunchyFrog · 26/04/2013 16:03

I have no clue why it's worse! Or maybe we have a different kind of grass. There was grass cutting going on by his tennis lesson the other week, I nearly had kittens - no reaction. School field was cut, and he had a mild reaction. In my friends' garden, he had a reaction so bad his airway was compromised and he had steroids for a week. But when it's cut in the day time, the reaction is milder (think bad hayfever rather than elephant man-child.)

We are still getting to grips with it, it doesn't seem to make any sense, but the triggers are definitely grass and trees.

Neighbour doesn't work, but doesn't get up much.

If I had notice, I could take DS`1 to Mum's or something.

OP posts:
BasilBabyEater · 26/04/2013 16:06

Can you give your DS medication in order to prevent an attack? If so, then maybe you would just need notice of when the neighbour is going to mow the grass.

If so, I'd approach him in a way that assumes he's a nice, kind helpful sort who'd be willing to do you a favour and acknowledge that he's well within his rights to say no. If you exaggerate how nice and kind and forbearing he would be to put himself out for you and how grateful you would be, he's more likely to agree - most people are very happy to do a neighbour a favour when it costs them nothing.

Original poster
CrunchyFrog · 26/04/2013 16:06

tig We've seen the allergy consultant, and he's been pushed up the queue for review, but it's a long wait.

He already has daily double dose anti-histamines, eye and nose drops, 2 inhalers and a daily tablet. Then Piriton on top of that for attacks.

A whole lot of drugs for a 7 year old.

I'm just panicking I think, this is only the start of the season, the consultant will probably be September at the earliest. I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 26/04/2013 16:07

I heard something a few days back about pollen being worse/out more first thing in the morning and early evening. No idea why though!

Justforlaughs · 26/04/2013 16:07

I think that the most you could ask would be for your neighbour to knock on your door before he starts (assuming that he is work all day). The only other thing would be to offer to cut his grass for him, while your DS is in school. I'm sure you are only too well aware that the best option is to sort out the problem long term, and I wish you the very best of luck

BasilBabyEater · 26/04/2013 16:07

Could there be something in the neighbour's grass that sets him off (daisies or more dandelions than normal or something) or do you think it's the actual grass variety that's setting him off?

TaurielTest · 26/04/2013 16:11

Pollen counts are highest in the evening, something to do with cooling atmosphere, so him being more susceptible then makes sense.

I'd probably say - in a note or face-to-face - something like
"DS is really suffering like he did last year - remember the ambulance? He's on medication and waiting to see a specialist. Obviously I can't ask you not to cut your grass, but it would really help him if you could do it when he's at school, or give me a knock in advance if you need to do it at another time so I can take him out." And like PP say, acknowledge that he has a perfect right not to.

ZZZenagain · 26/04/2013 16:14

I don't think you can ask him to knock on your door and let you know every time. I don't think he would want to do that.

If you were my neighbour I wouldn't mind if you asked us not to mow the lawn in the evenings since your ds suffers, however maybe it is the only convenient time for him.

Original poster
CrunchyFrog · 26/04/2013 16:14

The grass is the same as mine, which does also set him off, but I do it when he's away at his Dad's at the weekend.

The allergy tests didn't differentiate between types of grass, I was just told generic grass pollen. He gets a mild skin reaction if he sits on it with bare legs.

I am going to go and google pollen filters for the windows, if such a thing exists.

OP posts:
AnyoneforTurps · 26/04/2013 16:16

I like puddock's approach - acknowledge that he's perfectly within his rights to cut it in the evening but explain what a difference it would make if he didn't. Definitely don't go all "Won't somebody please think of the children?" which will only hack him off.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 26/04/2013 16:27

Do you have hepa filters?

Original poster
CrunchyFrog · 26/04/2013 16:29

Self never heard of them!

OP posts:
storynanny · 26/04/2013 16:30

If you were my neighbour I would definitely stop cutting the grass in the evening as I have allergies as do 2 of my sons. However if your neighbour is clueless about the misery he will prob say no and I'm not sure what else you could do. Sorry not to be much help. Perhaps he could at least warn you when he's going to do it and you could put him in a steamy bath for half an hour?
Pollen settles in the evening and is therefore more of a problem, apparently. We always suffer more in the evening.

HansieMom · 26/04/2013 16:36

I would revise Puddocks note to
I can't ask you not to cut your grass in the evening
And leave out the part about him knocking on your door every time he is going to mow.

valiumredhead · 26/04/2013 16:37

My hay fever is bad in the evenings too so is ds's. I think pollen settles in the evenings as it's quite common for sufferers to get it badly then.

In all honesty I don't think you can ask him to do it to a certain time table even though your son suffers.

It doesn't sound like he is someone who will be reasonable does it?

valiumredhead · 26/04/2013 16:38

I also thought of a steamy bath helping when he does it.

valiumredhead · 26/04/2013 16:39

We are testing out Prevalin this year - have a google OP.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 26/04/2013 16:40

I would offer to cut his grass for him.