has anyone sent their child to a faith school when they are not of that faith?

[janettargaryen]

I am considering sending my ds to a specific (non-Christian) faith school that has a very good reputation and because all the other schools in my area are very oversubscribed and I don't think he will get in elsewhere. The school is not very orthodox but it is a faith school and they accept applications from people who are not of their faith.

I just wondered if anyone has experience of sending their dc to a faith school where they are not of that faith (eg. Jewish, Muslim, Christian) etc? If so, how have your dc got on with the other children and did they find it strange going to a school that they weren't the faith of? Did they feel included? Was the experience positive or negative overall? thanking in advance.

I wouldn't say brainwash, I'd say indoctrinate - I mean, that is surely the purpose of faith schools?

Wallison - that was not what I intended to say.

We did. I am a staunch atheist. DS goes to a Catholic school. It is actually our nearest school and for my health reasons I needed him to go to one that is close. The other schools in my less than desirable area were complete no nos. There wasn't a chance in hell I was going to put them as options.

Luckily we got accepted, ok we were 7th on the criteria list but we got a place, DD would be third on the criteria list because of the sibling rule. We haven't pretended to be religious, I was very up front about us not being and I don't take DS to the out of school Mass once a month at the Church. I did take him to the Church at Christmas though because they were part of the nativity play.

DS loves it there and so do I. Ok there is a lot of religious content and I think the time could be spend better but its a lovely small school where all the children know each other, I am getting on well with the parents and I really like the staff there so we are very happy with our choice.

I picked the best primary (at the time v multicultural and easy on the religious side of things) in the final two years a new HT was brought in - a creationist. Cue PITA two years.

When my DS was going to secondary I just picked the best local grammar and once he started told them he would not be attending RE at all and we would not be going to any special services etc.

One of the heads was also a creationist and tried to make things awkward but thankfully I am totally bloody strong minded. You can pull your kid out of RE and all collective worship if you so wish in a regular state school.

Back to the OP question, unless you know the details of how much and in what way religion will be part of the school day then I would think v carefully. Even in the state grammar my DS attends a friend, who preferred not to teach RE herself so left her DD in the RE class, found her DD struggled a bit as the teacher assumed she would be au fait with the Christian faith in general and the preferred denomination of the school in particular.

Didn't scar her for life or anything, it just was upsetting and awkward, but I imagine a faith school may have even higher expectations so be sure to ask about how other non-faith kids are treated before you decide.

Agree with the comments about Jewish schools - I think that it would be hard to opt out of the faith element as its so integral to the atmosphere of the school, but provided you are prepared to go along with it the other children will be accepting. How will you feel if your child comes home and says, I want to have Friday night dinner like my friends do? Or only sending in veggie/ fish food in packed lunch or coping wont school closing at 1pm all winter on a Friday - and closed on Jewish festivals (although obviously get bank holidays off including 2 weeks over Xmas. Depending on the school boys may have to wear kipot (unlikely they'd expect a boy who wasn't Jewish to wear Tzitzit). Also often uniforms is skirts only for girls (depending on school) ie no trousers. I think if you ok with this it would be fine. Generally academic standards and ofsted is good.

"Can I ask what the lure of the faith school is if you are not of that faith (or a non believer) - open question."

The lure in my case was that it was the school with the nicest ethos and the best atmosphere, as well as having a calm, ordered feel to it rather than the chaotic feel of the only other realistic choice. Also it was a mixed school rather than an all-boys and I wanted DS to go to a mixed school.

"Are you happy for your DS to be taught that women are inferior to men? Because that's what faith schools peddle."

Actually, that's what more or less all schools peddle (whether they know it or not) so I don't have any extra concern about a catholic school doing it. I counter it vigorously at home.

Aged 16 I chose to go a faith school because it was very good, despite having no religion. RE lessons were compulsory, and I was taught by nuns half the time.

Any questions on how the kid feels in this position are welcome!

Possibly an odd point, but one DP raised. He remembers them being little kids at school and um...making fun of the one non-Jewish boy because he wasn't circumcised. They also thought a lot of strange things about uncut penises.

The school DP went to, although they aren't ultra-Orthodox, they are Modern Orthodox, rather than Reform or Liberal. DPs family are Reform and they were made to feel not as Jewish. And the school even now doesn't allow women to wear trousers to school functions etc.

We are both atheists and won't send our child to a faith school, certainly not a Jewish school, even though DP strongly identifies as culturally Jewish.

My children are due to start school in September.

I wouldn't consider a faith school. I've heard the bullshit children are made to believe (my DSS went to a Catholic school for reception) and I don't like it. I know it's probably completely dependent on who teaches there, and their methods, but I don't want to put them their and learn through trial and error that they are being taught they will be going to the fiery depths of hell if they can't memorise their spellings

We are in France where the religion / state separation is well known. However there are faith schools here, mostly catholic and all private.

My question is - how did the situation arise where so many people seem to have only a CoE school to choose from? Why are there so many of them in villages and no state primaries? Doesn't the local authority have any obligation to provide access to a state primary? Apologies for my ignorance - my experience of school is limited to Scotland and France. O

Where I live there are only village primaries and all of them within a 5 mile radius are religious. We are atheist and I hugely resented being bottom of the list for a place at any of these schools as a result. It is hugely discriminatory against people of no faith. I opted for the local C of E school as I find that slightly more palatable than the Catholic one. There should be no place for religion in schools though.

kim147 On my first post to this thread, I said that I am not a believer. I was raised in a Jewish culture but not a religious one. I feel like I got snarked at on this thread because people have assumed I am pro-religion but I am neither pro nor anti.

I can quote Mark's gospel at you forwards and backward having been to a catholic school and getting an A* in RE

Doesn't mean I believe it.

People shoul have more faith in themselves and their ability to say 'yes that's what some people believe but what do you think? Others believe this and that'

Oh and we learned about other religions too. And it was a TINY proportion of our day. If it was literally JUST religion being peddled all day every day then I would say it shouldn't be funded by the state but it isn't. It's a great education with a bit of Christian worship/ education chucked in.

Saying that shouldn't be state funded is just stupid

The thing about women being inferior to men? The Catholic schools I attended, and the catholic primary all my kids attend(ed) all had female head teachers. All of them. The two non catholic secondary schools my DD1 and DS attend? Male heads.

There are no catholic secondary school where I live. So my older kids have to go to non catholic secondary schools. :(

OP, I think a lot depends on how you feel about the particular religion of the school you are sending your child to, and whether you are prepared for it to be fairly full-on. Will you be happy for your child to attend religious services, for example?

There are two types of faith school - voluntary controlled (partly run by the local authority) and voluntary aided (mainly run by the governors and the faith organisation). The vast majority (probably all, actually) of non C of E schools are voluntary aided, so there will generally be more emphasis on the religious aspects than in a VC school.

Also, do you know how many children go to the school who don't practise that faith? That would have an impact, I'd have thought, on how well your child fits in.

Picking up on Mariana's post where she say she thinks there should be no place for religion in schools, and as a bit of a hopefully interesting aside ....
I gather that in America all schools are secular ... and that that is why there is such a huge focus over there on creation and creationism and the first chapter of Genesis .... because then they can sneek some religion into schools under the cover of the science curriculum.
That's what I heard somewhere anyhow, anyone know if there's truth in it ?
Interesting that we have so many faith schools - I'm sure yes, it's mainly a historical thing - and yet America has taken such a different path with things.

"I don't want to put them their and learn through trial and error that they are being taught they will be going to the fiery depths of hell if they can't memorise their spellings "

Really? You honestly think that that's the teaching techniques used in catholic schools?

I love the way anti-catholic stereotypes like this are thrown around, it's very amusing for those of us who actually had a catholic upbringing and reminds us that anti-catholic prejudice is far from dead in Britain, new royal succession laws notwithstanding. I assume it's just a flippant remark tbh, but the icon rather invites other posters to take it seriously.

My anti Catholic prejudice is solely around the denying women of reproductive rights. I don't want my daughter educated within that context.

That's absolutely fair enough MT and I wouldn't call that prejudice, I'd call that a reasonable and reasoned opinion.

Imagining that little kids will be threatened will hell-fire if they don't learn their spellings, isn't a reasoned opinion though, it's just silly.

I am a raging anti-catholic (and anti-any-other-patriarchal-religion), not on the basis of prejudice but of reasoned opinion. Doesn't stop me recognising traditional anti-catholic prejudice when I see it though.

Yes, the DSSs are at a Catholic school. They are Jewish. It suits them down to the ground - much better than their previous, secular (but full of Jews) school!

My kids are at a Jewish school - not sure if any non-Jews there, but I agree with the posters that the issue may be social rather than religious - eg if the others go to each other on shabbat or play maccabi league together on Sundays. Getting the snip may be one step too far, though, in terms of integrating!

In general, as long as your DS is happy to play footie at break times, I'm sure he'll be fine.If he doesn't play footie, it may be more difficult, but that probably applies to non-Jewish schools as well.

There are some good catholic schools in our area and lots of people (including my SIL) get their children baptised just to get in - she did and I think its a bit of a farce and hypocritical TBH, that said the quality of lots of the local schools are so poor I do understand it. You cannot get into these schools without letters from the vicar etc.

We all have to go and watch DN have her first holy communion soon - if it was all genuine then I would no have a problem but I miss out on going to a very exciting convention and have to sit in church watching this when I know they ar not actually catholic.

Each school & faith is very different - you can get "faith-lite" schools that pay faith only a minimum amount of attention, and get "faith-ultra" schools that focus all learning around the doctrines of the faith.

We are non-catholic, but have on 2 occasions chosen the catholic school over other schools, for different reasons. We are not anti-christian, but we are not catholic - so we were happy for our children to be taught bible lessons, prayers etc. But I wouldn't have been so comfortable in non christian environment.

The first school was faith-lite and kids and families all blended seamlessly. Second we were only non practising catholics in that year group, and DD came home on many occasions talking about wanting to be catholic like the other kids etc.