To be upset that he hasn't been invited

[Sharkie45]

A friend from DS's class is having a birthday party, I know about it as most of the other parents have mentioned it, DS hasn't received an invite though
He is a friend of the little boy and child's mum has seen them greeting each other in the morning so is aware of him
I know not all the children are attending as there are several new children but DS started with this child so they have been friends for a while
AIBU to feel a bit upset?

This happened to my ds a month or so ago, not a nice feeling at all for me...luckily ds is only 5. I didn't say anything, but my dh who doesn't seem to 'get' social etiquette was in a conversation with a couple of the dc's dads in school play ground. He turned around to the father of the birthday girl and said: "oh that's the party ds wasn't invited to!" The father didn't know what to say...

It's upsetting, and as likely as not to be a lost invitation, as a non-invitation.

But as the Mum you have to set the vibe. My Mum was never phased by anything and never got involved other than to counsel us to ignore, brush it off, not take it to heart, etc, and as a result, we always got over stuff very quickly and moved on, and never felt stuff to be bigger deal than it inherently was.

I'm sure there must've been some stuff that maybe upset her a bit, but she never let it show and so we followed her lead. Best outcome all round and definitely a leaf I'll be taking out of her book once my kids are old enough.

I invited all the boys in ds' class to his party & then realised shortly before the party that somehow I'd missed one boy out! I was mortified but it was too late to do anything

Don't do anything special because he's not invited, or you're going to spend the next 13 years having to do something special everytime he doesn't get his way. Make it no big deal, talk about the fact that not everyone is invited to everything, and that when it's his birthday he may have to sometimes choose because numbers may be limited. You're creating a rod for your own back if you make this a big deal.

Please don't ask the mother. One of the sad facts of life is that we all have to learn to live with disappointment. But giving your son the impression that anyone is obliged to invite him or you'll know why not is setting him up for a lifetime of misery.

Oh I hope it's not me- I'm in Wales and am planning ds's party. The whole class will be invited - we just haven't got round to it yet! But people may have heard me asking if others are free and thought they haven't had an invitation. I'm not that organised! ;)