to be really grumpy today

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

I had an operation yesterday so haven't eaten since Tuesday at 10pm, my mouth is really sore. my lovely family have all bought food is all soft yoghurts, semolina, ice cream but I'm sooo hungry just craving some real food not treats but I can't eat it .I have had about 5 hours sleep over 2 days but can't seem to settle and I'm boiling. please someone cheer me up or tell Me something fun :)

[wibblyjelly]

2 pebbles on a beach. One says, 'are you married?'. The other replies, 'nope, I'm shingle.'

Hope you feel better soon.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Two sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says to the other sausage, "blimey, it's hot in here". The other sausage says, "fuck me, a talking sausage".

The boiling thing, have you taken your temperature? Do you have a thermometer?

[thefirstmrsrochester]

saw this on mn a few weeks ago and still am tittering away.

Two cows standing in a field.
Once cow says to the other "What do you make of this mad cow disease then?"
The other cow replies "Don't ask me mate, I'm a helicopter".

hope you feel better soon.

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

Lols :) your jokes have amused me, don't think we have a thermometer or if we do not sure where hospital paperwork says it is common to run a temp for few days. just so bored!

[NinaHeart]

Are you me? I had surgery on Tuesday too and can't have anything but soft food for a week. Am already fed up with yougurt and soup. Although yesterday I did manage some Phish Food ice cream (wellmelted) and that was very good.

"I went to buy some camouflage trousers yseterday but I couldn't find any"

[MrsTerryPratchett]

A low fever is normal and common. A higher fever can be worrying. Can you fry eggs on your head?

Three cats tried to swim the channel. They all failed. Why? Because un, deux, trois, cats sank.

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

not high fever just generally feel hot and stuffy. at cats :) never realised how pants daytime tv is

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

ninaheart am I you? . dental surgery, I had ice cream and jelly but I crave real food

[landofsoapandglory]

I had a procedure yesterday too. It has left me with a completely numb leg. DH is meant to be looking after me, he has made himself breakfast and lunch. I have had a cup of tea and a glass of lucozade! When I dared to mention it,he went off on an almighty rage. Thank heavens for DS1 who has made me tea and toast since he got home from college.

I am bored and pissed off with a massive headache!

Feel better soon.

[MissSG]

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly..... She in the upper bunk and he in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the woman leaned down and gently woke the man saying, 'Sir, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' he replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
'Ooooh, ok!' she exclaimed.
'Good,' he replied. 'Get your own damn blanket.'

Hope you feel better soon

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

that was funny :) oh no sorry you are laid up to it is really boring isnt it, three cheers for ds taking over naughty dps duties though! hope you feel better soon too until then we can put the world to rights on here .

[Sidge]

Two parrots on a perch.
One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

Two goldfish in a tank.
One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Hope you feel better soon x

[ArtemisKelda]

Two snowmen in a field, one says to the other 'Can you smell carrots?'

Hope you feel better soon

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

you guys crack me up . had some mash and spaghetti hoops don't feel as starved now.

[wibblyjelly]

2 cannibals eating a clown. One says 'does this taste funny to you?'
Glad you are feeling bettee

[EsmereldaPB]

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a nobel prize? He was out standing in his field

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

grumpiness even worse today feel totally wrung out and sore and ds isn't too well so is king of moaning today