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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take out an enormous bank loan and get me a gastric band?

61 replies

AtYourCervix · 23/04/2013 07:43

I have an extremely unhealthy relationship with food.
The thinnest I have been and when I looked my best I was pretty much bullimic.

I am now old and fat. I don't like being fat. I start the day in a healthy frame of mind then crave carbs and butter and shit. I'm all or nothing. At a push I can be 'good' for a month, drop a stone, then return to 'normal' and over do the cheese, bread, butter and wine. Again.
Dietwise- you name it I've done it. For a month or so until I get bored and think I can control it and have just a little.
I am unreasonable. I know I am. But I am also a bit desperate.
If I were to do a band I have some questions.
Where? How much? How quickly? Would someone as weird and obsessive and crap with food be able to break it? If not surgery what elae?

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 23/04/2013 07:47

My sister has lost nearly 8 stone after having a hypnotherapy gastric band. It has really changed her attitude to food. I'd give that a go before having such a drastic operation which won't have any effect on your relationship with food, just your ability to eat it.

Mosman · 23/04/2013 07:53

You would save a fortune in food and be able to pay the loan off ... is that helpful, it is meant to be Grin

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 23/04/2013 07:54

That's the logic that works for me Mos.

Do hypno thingys actually work?

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 23/04/2013 07:56

Unless you address your bad relationship with food, getting a band is pointless. They are not the magical solution you think and if you do't address you eat, you will simply stretch your pouch and put the weight back on.

this is actually not uncommon in people who don't get the appropriate CBT to deal with their issues with food.

So whilst YANBU, you are uninfomred and should seek treatment to help you get to the root cause of your problem, which isn't just about what you put in your mouth, but why you put it in there.

hedgefund · 23/04/2013 07:56

how much is it?

DamnBamboo · 23/04/2013 07:57

CBT, coaching of some kind...all of these things will help you change your behaviour.

You may well find that you don't even need a band.

And good on your for thinking about doing something about it.

JackieTheFart · 23/04/2013 07:57

Honestly, you sound like me. Like you have an extremely unhealthy attitude towards food and would probably not benefit from a band.

I would love a band myself, as my problem is overeating, but I know this would lull me into a false sense of security and I would stretch out my stomach again until I was fat again. I do it every time I lose weight (not this time hopefully!)

I'd like to try and hypnotherapy one, but I fear my underlying opinion that it is all bullshit would make it not work!

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 23/04/2013 08:01

Damn.

DamnDamnDamnDamnDamn.

OP posts:
DilysPrice · 23/04/2013 08:03

Do a load of research on the power of placebo Jackie. That might convince you that it may be bullshit, but it's bullshit that can work - and once you are convinced of that, your mind is free to let it work it's bullshitty magic on you.

DamnBamboo · 23/04/2013 08:03

No, don't say damn.
Give yourself a bloody big pat on the back for recognising that it's not as simple as cuttting back (forcibly or otherwise).

You've realised this, and that's a big thing! Now move with this and take the next step in getting the help you need.

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 23/04/2013 08:04

Jackie - that is what I also fear. My cinicidm would thwart it.

Would that also be a problem with CBT?
I know what the problem is. I know what my issues are. I know why. I know how to eat healthily. I know what I should or shouldn't do. I know.

Problem is knowing doesn't stop it.

OP posts:
BalletIsMyNemesis · 23/04/2013 08:04

I want to echo what Bamboo just said, I have a friend who has lost 6 stone with a gastric band and has the body she wanted but her very unhealthy relationship with food remains unchanged.

She is seriously struggling to maintain her weight loss as she still eats all the wrong foods. Having lost the weight she is now trying to learn a new way of life but has no tools or strategies to help her.

If you go for it make sure you have support and help in place or it won't work, especially if you tend to bore of an eating regime after a month or so.

NewAtThisMalarky · 23/04/2013 08:07

There's a weightloss app called easyloss which takes you hypnotherapy sessions and ultimately to a hypno gastric band - a lot of people are having good success with it, and it's much cheaper with a lot of support on Facebook etc.

Worth a look.

SoupDragon · 23/04/2013 08:11

Paul McKenna does a hypnotic gastric band - the book is only about £10 or so and thus cheaper than real one - even if it doesn't work you've not lost much.

Original poster
AtYourCervix · 23/04/2013 08:12

I'll be over it by lunchtime. And back to my normal rotund self.

OP posts:
SparklyVampire · 23/04/2013 08:17

I think if you were overly obese then you get it on the NHS?, Have you explored the GP route?. They can recommend good slimming clubs or in some cases prescribes diet pills. I wouldn't think about having a gastric band lightly, it's major surgery and things can go horribly wrong.
I second other posters and suggest the hypno bands, it's worth a try if nothing else.

TheYamiOfYawn · 23/04/2013 08:20

A friend has horrible, life-threatening complications from gastric band surgery, so I'm not keen on them.

januaryjojo · 23/04/2013 08:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ENormaSnob · 23/04/2013 08:23

I wouldn't tbh.

I know 2 people that have had it done. 1 lost a few stone and has put it all back on. The other has lost the weight but her hair and skin looks dreadful. She actually looks malnourished.

Could you get a loan and get a nice new car, book a dream holiday and then join slimming world or weight watchers? I found being weighed weekly have me more incentive not to cheat.

emsyj · 23/04/2013 08:27

If you check on the weight loss board, there are a couple of threads of folk using the Paul McKenna Hypnotic Gastric Band (I've just ordered mine - £7 with free delivery on amazon) reporting amazing results - also the original 'I Can Make You Thin' has a few threads on it. I used to be a Weightwatchers fan but the whole counting, writing it down, weighing and measuring and never being able to go out without starving for a week beforehand just gave me a headache and I think promotes an unhealthy view of food. I used Hypnobirthing with both my labours and found it hugely helpful and effective, so why not try the same sort of thing with my weight?

Lucyellensmum95 · 23/04/2013 08:32

But how fat are you? I'm a size 20, im happy wiht that, yes id like to be a bit thinner but hey ho. I wonder if you need to address your body image rather than your relationship with food - start to like yourself a bit more and think about eating a healthy diet rather than a diet. Don't make the goal losing weight, make the goal FEELING better. I lost a load of weight after i had DD, i was a size 12 (I had gallstones - best diet in the world, if you eat = agony!) and I was MISERABLE, but its not who i am. I'm a big girl - i can cycle 20-30 miles and walk for hours. I'm not saying i eat well, at the moment i probably o eat too much shite but it wouldnt be too much of a jump for me to go on a health kick, the minute it comes to depriving me of the food that i want, fuck it. I am quite happy to eat healthy food, knowing i can have a packet of crisps if i want them - i tend not to eat much chocolate, because i CAN!

januaryjojo · 23/04/2013 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

orangeandlemons · 23/04/2013 08:39

I'm with you. I have tried everything, including all mckenna stuff and paid 500 quid for a hypno gastric band. None of them worked despite my perseverance.

I think when your eating is out of contol as mine is, it takes more than changing attitudes. If I could do that I wouldn't be considering a gastric band. For me, I want to reset my eating thermostat as it'scompletely off the wall, and I'm pretty desperate. I don't know how to/can't do it despite everything.

Go for it is my advice

mummymeister · 23/04/2013 08:41

OP you have said ...I know what the problem is. I know what my issues are. I know why. I know how to eat healthily. I know what I should or shouldn't do. I know....

There is a gulf between knowing and understanding. A GB is a huge operation. it carries a lot of risks and is not a quick fix. it will have implications for your health for years and once done cannot be undone. There is no quick fix for eating disorders or weight loss. if there was I would be first in the queue. you have to try lots of different things until you find the one that works for you. it could be a book, hypnotism, counselling, exercise, sw, ww or whatever. Overeating is self abuse and it is also an addiction. there is no quick fix. stop looking for them and start trying out things that will help you to understand the issue. good luck.

orangeandlemons · 23/04/2013 08:43

But what if you have tried all those things to no avail? I have failed at all of them spectacularly.

Sometimes drastic action may be the only option