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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think grandparents should just go and buy presents and not ask me what to get?!

40 replies

flowerpowergirl · 22/04/2013 22:29

Sorry in advance, this is a rant. I am fed up of having to think of our own presents for our DC AND having to also tell everyone else what to get. Why can't they just go out and buy something? Would it be the end of the world if my DD got 2 of the same? We'd just take one back. Or recycle it. And its not like they don't even have a clue - they have been provided with a list prepared by my DD AND there is a wish list on Amazon. so why am I being plagued with calls??!! Angry Angry

Thanks, I feel much better now Wink

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 22/04/2013 23:02

I get asked too. Then I get asked what Dh wants. Argh. Just ask him

cjel · 22/04/2013 23:03

If they asked him it would spoil the surprise!!

mummymeister · 22/04/2013 23:03

like the amazon wish list idea OP. we insisted FIL gave DC's presents he had bought and he gave them.....a bundle of DVD's of ancient old films he had got free with his sunday newspaper. will definitely do the amazon thing now to stop this happening again. he gave me one of those mini bottles of crap wine you get on the plane and I am teetotal so I should have known.

ScrambledSmegs · 22/04/2013 23:09

cjel so why exactly am I the only person in the family who still never gets a surprise?

Asking me has become their default position, before looking at lists or even thinking for themselves. It's like when my DH is in the kitchen and asks me where something is before he's even looked for it.

They even ask me what my DBro wants. We're not particularly close. Why not ask his wife?

ScrambledSmegs · 22/04/2013 23:11

I'm not the OP under a namechange, btw. Just have lifelong experience of this kind of thing.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 22/04/2013 23:12

YANBU. I feel your pain.

Nanny0gg · 22/04/2013 23:20

Or maybe exchange them for grandparents who don't care/don't want to see the DGC/don't even send them a card let alone buy a present?

Your choice.

babyinarms · 22/04/2013 23:27

I wish my inlaws asked what to get my dc's as they get really bad stuff. Like girlie stuff for Ds and tacky hair clips for dd! I'd rather they asked tbhGrin

ScrambledSmegs · 23/04/2013 00:40

But the OP has given them lists, hints, Amazon wish lists.

It's lovely that they want to get the best gifts for their GC's. obviously no one is saying they'd rather have the uninvolved GP's I hear about on here.

However I'm reminded of the saying 'it's the thought that counts'. So using my family as an example, what exactly does delegating all the thinking to me imply?

It's a small thing, they're brilliant GP's and give their time and love so generously. DC's adore them. But this little thing does give me pause, and occasionally - when I have to come up with present ideas for 5 adults plus myself in the space of 2 months - it does grate somewhat.

MiaowTheCat · 23/04/2013 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlingLoving · 23/04/2013 10:02

Even though I think YABU, I nonetheless am 100% behind you. Drives me crazy too. I can't understand why it's so hard. DS is a child. Go into a toy or book store and get him something.

I do of course understand they want to get him something that a) he will like and b) we will approve of which is why i know that I am also being unreasonable, but nonetheless, I will quietly sympathise with your rant. It is infuriating.

MyDarlingClementine · 23/04/2013 10:07

I think your extremely lucky that you get asked.

I think it matters a lot to waste time and money duplicating as mil did with a camera this xmas

OR Simply ask for contributions to lessons/ dance classes/ sports
OR season passes to local farms/ attractions
OR Theatre tickets etc.

Or ask for a token present of their own choosing and put the money away for them.

redskyatnight · 23/04/2013 10:18

I'd love to be able to specify.
The danger of not specifying is that you end up with large toys (and no where to put them), annoying toys (that you wish you had somewhere to put) and/or upset children (Peppa pig for an 7 year old? And yes, she did say thank you graciously)

ShadowStorm · 23/04/2013 10:43

In general, YABU - this way your DD is more likely to get a present she'll appreciate.

But I was a bit surprised by them calling and asking even though your DD has given them a list and there's a wish list on Amazon - are you sure they've got these? And can't you just tell them to buy something from the list?

blindasabatenburg · 23/04/2013 11:54

I hate this too, but only when it is PIL, because I can't suggest something that is appropriate. Either my suggestion to too expensive and grabby (£30/40), or age inappropriate, in their opinion (ELC pushchair and first doll for a very mobile 1yr old). I'm always left feeling judged . If they don't ask though, my children are not treated fairly - toys clothes and money for my DS / tights and shorts in a carrier bag posted late for my DD.

However, when other family members ask for ideas, it generally does work out better and we don't end up with duplicates or ignored toys.

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