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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be worried about cigarette smoke wafting into our apartment from other apartments?

41 replies

honeytea · 21/04/2013 17:47

I am not sure if I am being an over anxious new mum. My ds is 4 months old and I really struggle with concerns about his health.

We live in an apartment, our neighbours on both sides smoke on their balcony. We live on the top floor and we have a black roof, our apartment is already too hot. When they smoke they shut their doors and windows but we are not aware they are about to start smoking so we don't get the chance to shut our doors and windows.

Last summer I was pregnant and we asked our neighbours to let us know when they were going to smoke so we could shut all our windows/doors.

Last night one of the other neighbors had a party, the noise doesn't bother us at all but the party guests would go to the apartment entrance and smoke whith the door open so the smoke wafted up the stairs and there was a strongish smell of smoke in our apartment at bed time :(

I am wondering if I am being unreasonable to be so worried about this smoke, I am not sure if enough would get into our home to cause a danger. I am not worried about the smell it is the health risk I am worried about.

We have fans but I think especially the bedroom is still too hot for my baby to sleep in.

We have been to look at houses today with the thought of moving, it is such a shame because I love the location and the apartment we live in, am I being overly worried about the smoke?

OP posts:

Original poster

honeytea · 22/04/2013 11:43

I am very anxious about his health, it is strange because I don't worry about him getting snatched or rolling off the bed it is specifically sids that I worry about. I have spoken to my hv and she just said it was normal, I don't think it is normal.

I need to go to the dr to talk about my high anxiety levels but I am afraid to take ds to the dr with me because I don't want him to catch an illness from the waiting room :(

OP posts:

Earthworms · 22/04/2013 11:43

Oh, and pre DAC, we moved from our rented flat for precisely this reason. I bloody hate smoking.

Earthworms · 22/04/2013 11:44

Dc not DAC.

Bloody autocorrect

Earthworms · 22/04/2013 11:46

To worry is normal, to worry to the point it interferes with normal life is, I was told the point where you seek help.

Good luck. X

annh · 22/04/2013 13:02

After your last message about not wanting your dc to be in the doctor's waiting room, I think this is about more than just this one issue. You do sound as if you are suffering from anxiety and possibly PND, do you take your dc out at all - to baby group, the supermarket, the park? do you meet up with other friends with babies? Everyone wants to take care of their child and take precautions not to expose them to unnecessary risks but I think you are taking it too far, and you realise this too.

MyDarlingClementine · 22/04/2013 14:13

I don't think being anxious about second hand smoke is being OTT.
Its clearly not even one person smoking.

I don't think and hope my dc wont be harmed by the smoke they are exposed too, I still wish they were not,

We are told all the time how bad second hand smoke is.

Snoopingforsoup · 22/04/2013 14:25

I think it is fair to be anxious about the smoke, but I'm not sure you're dealing with the anxiety in the right way. If you have the windows open, I assume there's more air coming in than smoke?

Speak to your health visitor about your concerns. He/She will have been asked about it a thousand times I'm sure, but if you are getting enough air into the place when the neighbours are not stood on the balconies smoking then I don't think taping up letter boxes etc. is of any use. It's not like you are on the balcony with them and they are blowing it into your DC's face. It's not like you are all in a car and the driver is smoking, nor are you in a 1974 working man's club.

Please try to relax and try to keep this in perspective. It's easy to get carried away with the worries, presumably you are sleep deprived too?

Snoopingforsoup · 22/04/2013 14:27

Sorry, badly written - ask your HV for information specifically about the second hand smoke. She must have come across this before. And your GP.

Original poster

honeytea · 22/04/2013 16:03

I do take him out lots, we go to baby groups every day, they are special groups just for babies and they wash the toys so I think the risk of him getting ill is low.

Ds was very ill when he was 5 weeks old with RS virus, he had to spend 5 nights in hospital, I think him being so ill has made me very aware of the dangers of illness.

I have tried to look for research about what amount of 2nd hand smoke is safe/dangerous and I have just found lots of stuff saying there is no safe level.

I am enjoying today because it is not great weather so our apartment is nice and cool :)

Ds has learnt to roll onto his side in his sleep and I called the hv today to ask her advice and she just said yes he will be at a greater risk of sids on his side but there isn't anything I can do about it.

OP posts:

witchface · 22/04/2013 17:47

Our downstairs neighbour has taken in a lodger. He is a smoker and at times our flat stinks of smoke now. Im not too worried about the health aspect of it but i dont appreciate smelling smoke (and possibly of smoke) in my home.

And i dont think it is unreasonable to be unhappy about it.

WilsonFrickett · 22/04/2013 17:54

Taping up ventilation in your home is much, much more dangerous than second hand smoke. If you have any sort of gas appliance you can get carbon monoxide poisoning from it. Which can be fatal for both adults and children. Taping up vents can also make your house damp, which is not great either. So please, please un-tape things.

WRT the smoking - the smell of smoke is very strong, especially if you don't smoke. But the smoke that is coming into your house is already 'mixed' with the air - it smells stronger than it is, iyswim. Yes, it is a pain and yes the smell is bad but honestly unless someone is in the same room, the risk factors are small. It is the smell that is hitting you, not the actual smoke.

WilsonFrickett · 22/04/2013 17:55

unless someone is smoking in the same room/house as the baby^ that should read.

Earthworms · 22/04/2013 19:37

Good point Wilson.

Haven't mould spores been implicated in SIDS ?

I was bloody paranoid about it at the time (high risk preemie)
I feel your pain op, but I think you need outside assistance with weighing the risks.

Original poster

honeytea · 23/04/2013 09:15

We live in a fairly dry (but cold) climat so I don't think mould is an issue.

We are lucky that ds doesn't fit into any of the risk groups apart from being a boy, he was a chunk when he was born (10 pounds) he is breastfed and we don't smoke. But I still worry.

it is so silly because I don't worry about taking him in the car which is probably much more dangerous.

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 23/04/2013 09:41

Mould will quickly become an issue in an unventilated house, believe me. Especially if you live in a cold climate. You warm your house up (through breathing and heating) which will then cause condensation (because the inside is warmer than the outside). Condensation will become moisture and that will lead to problems.

but that's actually the side point to the ventilation issue, which is the risk of carbon monoxide poisoning.

IneedAsockamnesty · 23/04/2013 11:02

Honey please listen to Wilson everything she/he has put is compleatly correct.

Your actions to try and prevent a minor risk are creating a much bigger risk

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