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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wibu to let my 3 yo wee in the back garden

42 replies

mum1979100 · 21/04/2013 15:39

looking for a bit of advice here. When potty training I would let him wee in garden or sometimes behind a tree when out and about. As sometimes needs must and he couldn't hold it til getting to toilet.
But he fully potty trained now. When he is playing in the garden he will now pull down his pants and wee himself. Sometimes before I realise what he is doing.

My dh is making a big thing about how he has to go back into house for wee now he is a big boy. For fear that he will start to think it's normal to just wee anywhere. But it involves a great argument as he doesn't want to stop what he is doing.

When I am at home on my own in the week I also have a 1 yo. We spend a lot of time playing in garden. So arguing with 3 yo about going to toilet and trying to escort him with 1 yo in tow is hard work.

Do other people insist they go back in to toilet? Are you all going to tell me I am disgusting for even asking this? We have a big grassy back garden. So I am not talking about a patio or anything.
Tia

I suppose a compromise would be re introducing potty just for in garden. But we only just got rid of the potty.

OP posts:

JeremyPiven · 21/04/2013 18:03

So glad this thread has started to swing the other way. Was starting to think I was a a slattern

Oopla · 21/04/2013 18:32

It's no big deal, DH would if he could get away with it.

Ds was very fond of weeing al fresco when we first potty trained, was a particular rock we pass on school run with Dd that he seemed to have to mark

If its clear the loo is preferable that's the main thing.

buildingmycorestrength · 21/04/2013 18:36

It is good for the plants, seriously! I actively encourage it in our own garden but for a three year old you probably want to make it clear that you can't just wee anywhere.

I once was parked in a supermarket car park and a boy about 4 or 5 ran out of the shop and wee'd on my front bumper as I watched and laughed. His mum followed shortly after and was mortified. .

Bambalam · 21/04/2013 18:52

A colleague had us howling with laughter the other day about her nephew (age 5) who ran out of Argos and peed up against the glass window I'm sure I wouldn't have thought it was funny if I'd seen it though.

Apparently he said it was because 'daddy lets me go in car parks'. As adults, we understand the boundaries of peeing in gardens and on woodland walks, but please be careful that your pre-schooler does or he could end up embarrassed! Do you think he'd do it in the park?

anastaisia · 21/04/2013 18:55

urine has nitrogen in it - very good for plants. I'd let him but encourage him to do it in certain spots that aren't going to be stepped on and are a bit more private.

grovel · 21/04/2013 18:58

My DH sometimes pees in our garden (discreetly). I don't get it. He says that peeing alfresco is on a par with eating alfresco. An enjoyable change. It's his only really bad habit so I can live with it (without undertanding it).

HorryIsUpduffed · 21/04/2013 19:00

When potty training, or in "emergencies", go ahead. DS(4) sometimes needs an "emergency wee" into a hedge because although his bladder control is great, he doesn't always notice he needs to go until he is bursting.

But normal wees should be planned to be in an actual loo. Perhaps you could remind him more often (say once an hour) to go inside for a wee if he needs to, s o he will never be bursting?

ChippingInLovesSpring · 21/04/2013 19:00

I think he's old enough to understand he is allowed to do it at home, but not out (unless he asks on a woodland walk or whatever) and that when you have guests it's a no-no.

It wouldn't be my choice, and at 3 I think he's old enough to go in the house by himself to do it and with summer coming footwear and outdoor clothing wont be an issue... so it's an ideal time to put a stop to it, but if you don't mind, I don't see the problem - if he understand the limitations.

Cies · 21/04/2013 21:00

Honestly don't see the problem. All of my friendship group allow/encourage our dc to do al fresco wees, it's one of the joys of childhood. Help him choose an appropriate spot and you're away.

babanouche · 21/04/2013 21:20

Mine does this too. I'm trying to discourage it as his big brother's starting to think it's acceptable. In no time, I'll have DP doing it as well. Slippery, smelly, slope.

Mother2many · 21/04/2013 21:27

When I met my Xh, he lived out on a farm, and would just stand off his deck and pee. He encouraged Xss to do it as well... Meanwhile my boys, were taught not too... If your out in the bushes/trees on a farm, where no one can see you FINE... Not off your deck! Needless to say, I stopped that, when we hooked up.

Now that my Xh has his own property, he's back to pissing off the deck again. Grosses me out...as my 7 yr old daughter is around, and it isn't appropriate...period. Now Xss is 14...I imagine he does it too...

lazy s.o.b.'s they are...

Start a habit now...harder to break when older...

JMHO

Mother2many · 21/04/2013 21:29

oh, lets not forget if you child has a friend over...girl or boy, and just decides to stand and pee.....YUCK... I know as the visiting mom, I would be grossed out too...

McNewPants2013 · 21/04/2013 21:35

why is a 3 year old peeing in the garden so gross.

it is benefical to the garden.

Kithulu · 21/04/2013 21:43

Mine always did this when he was 3. Now he is 7 he wouldn't dream of it. Don't worry.
I do though have friends who teach their boys that 'every tree is a lavatory' . This was not so good they time we were in a pub garden with them.....

chitofftheshovel · 21/04/2013 23:29

I really can't see the problem with this. My DS 7 still does tyre wees, DD and him do "bush" wees and I'll admit to going behind the shed a few times. Nowt wrong with a bit of open air urinating.

bedmonster · 21/04/2013 23:41

Aaarrghh! I must NOT let DP read this thread! He loves pissing in the garden (it's a very large garden and to be fair, it takes longer than 30 seconds to get from one end to the other and upstairs to the loo), but if I use the toilet I bloody well expect him to too! It's bloody lazy (him, not your DS), but your DS will just do it out of habit unless you encourage him to use the actual purpose built toilet.
I find it grim personally!

Soupa · 22/04/2013 00:03

I let mine wee in the garden, behind bushes in the park, down grids in town. Would infinitely prefer it to traipsing inside to the bathroom or visiting grotty park or town toilets. can't see the fuss, good for plants... They outgrow it too. Any visiting parent who was grossed out by this would probably avoid us instinctively:)

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