To feel really upset by DH and PIL making fun of me

[littlestressy]

A little background info so I don't drip feed:

DS is 16mo and our first baby, I'm still breastfeeding, morning and bedtime plus any daytime feeds he wants.
My MIL has been in hospital for a couple of weeks with a respiratory illness, she is back home now and doing well.

Yesterday my DH took DS to see his parents, staying overnight and back home later today. All totally fine, I had arranged to meet up with friends, have a bit of 'me time' and have a lie in. Lovely. I felt a bit worried about DS staying away without me but only because this is the first time he's stayed away from me for longer than only a night. I knew he'd be totally fine with DH and PIL.

Anyway, I rang my DH last night at a time that I knew DS would be in bed, started making conversation and asking a few questions: How was he? Did he have a nice day? What did you get up to? What did he have for dinner? etc etc....in the background I hear my MIL laughing "You can talk to him if you like" meaning my DS, then my FIL saying "he had vindaloo, lager and rice for dinner", which my DH repeated to me.

At this point I got really upset, started crying down the phone and told my DH he was being a knob and all I wanted to know was some basic info about our son, it was the first time he'd stayed away and I was missing him. I just wanted to know how he was. I told my DH that I was also upset by him and PIL making fun of me ringing and asking what (I thought) were normal questions for a parent to ask.

In short I was really upset, and still am. Was IBU to ask questions like dinner/bedtime/general well being? Am I being precious? I didn't ring this morning, DH rang me and told me what time DS had slept till and what he had for breakfast....

My FiL does this all the time: "Oh, we dropped her twice" talking about taking DD out in her pram today. I know he's obviously joking a complete prat, but it still plays on those mummy strings that don't find "jokes" like that funny in the slightest and I can't help wanting to ask him not to say things like this.

I think your DH and PIL were really insensitive, albeit unintentionally, and should have had more consideration for you, given it was the first time your DS had been away.

YANBU

YABU.

Crying down the phone, seriously?? . Can you not take a joke?

Mean myfurby! OP, does this happen a lot? Do you sometimes feel they're ganging up on you? Whether that happens or not I can see myself getting upset in that scenario. Like you said, it took you by surprise how much you were missing your little one.

A different situation but DS has recently started at residential school. I get ridiculously sad sometimes.

I think your DH and PIL were really insensitive, albeit unintentionally, and should have had more consideration for you, given it was the first time your DS had been away

Yes, I agree with this.

and I didn't ring this morning, DH rang me and told me what time DS had slept till and what he had for breakfast
should have been a nice apology and sympathy for you . Just because DPsIL are hard hearted old bs doesn't mean you have to be, and thankfully for your little DCs you aren't.

Your DH is insensitive too.

This sounds like 6 or one, half a dozen of the other.

But while we are on the subject, can I just admit to getting wound up by people pratting about on the other end of the phone when I'm phoning to speak to my DH. It does feel a bit rude to me.

It sounds like you did overreact but you had reason to and they were insensitive.

It was the first time he was away, they should all have been a bit more supportive. It's not a joke if you don't laugh.

Today I cried at lunch because my parents were making 'hilarious' jokes about the toddler screaming at the next table. I'm due to have my first baby in 5 weeks. I asked them to stop it because they've done this numerous times before and they know it upsets me. They carried on and made fun of me for being upset. I left the table and went and had a good cry in the toilets, sorted myself out and by the time I got back they got the message. So like your situation, I overreacted but they were being insensitive and hopefully we've all learned something from it!

I'm not always mad keen on silly jokes. But I think you are being really oversensitive this time. They were only having a lighthearted joke and nothing malicious at all.

Well I do agree with everyone who have said I was being over sensitive and over reacting, I agree that crying was stupid. I didn't mean to but I just got upset....shouldn't have I know as they weren't being malicious just silly.
Anyway I apologised to my DH this afternoon for over reacting, he said he had been a bit insensitive and it's all been forgotten about.
That'll teach me for having some wine in the evening

Mmm, op was it your ds in hospital with burns?

If it was, I think you had every right to be upset...

Yes that was my little baby boy in February and March but he's totally fine now, you'd never know until his clothes come off.
Think I still feel very protective....need to chill out!

And they need to be less insensitive...

OP i completely sympathise - yes you were a little sensitive but we are all different and I would have probably been a bit annoyed with that type of joke too. My DD who is 3 has never been away from me at night except when I had DD2 - you are within your rights to be a little touchy doesn't mean you are right or wrong - we are just all different.