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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be dreading DC4?

14 replies

ruledbyheart · 21/04/2013 08:50

Please note I am sleep deprived so probably unreasonable.

For the last 24hrs I have been looking after my good friends 6 DC ages 12/8/5/3/ 15mths and 6weeks old.

The older ones have been brilliant but after looking after the two little ones I am exhausted and wondering how the hell I can go through these age ranges again.

The 6week old doesn't do much in the day just eatand sleep...great until last night and he was awake all night, I think I have previously blocked out how bad babies can sleep and I am dreading having to go through night wakings all over again, nenever had I had a happy time than when my 3DC started sleeping through and I have no idea how I'll cope with DC4 at night, DC2 was awful never slept and screamed all night for 2yrs.

The 15mth old is gorgeous but is into everything and doesn't understand anything she is told, obviously I'm going to have to do this all over again too and that means baby proofing and having eyes in the back of your head.

This whole experience has left me feeling really down about my whole pregnancy and am now dreading having a newborn/young toddler again.

Aibu?

Disclaimer this pregnancy is also a surprise and not planned although until now I was ecstatic as I was due to have a hysterectomy for health reasons.

OP posts:

hwjm1945 · 21/04/2013 08:52

Well u sort of get used to it and you would not have 6

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 21/04/2013 08:54

Very true but in all honesty I would have 4dc 5yrs and under... Im terrified.

OP posts:

Crawling · 21/04/2013 08:57

Its different when they are yours. You get a routine which suits you and whild it will be hard adjusting at first you will cope fine.

Dont base it on your recent experience.

PacificDogwood · 21/04/2013 09:01

I think you have just scared yourself by having so many kids to look after. I know you said the older ones were fine, but IME shere numbers do make a difference.
My DS1(10) is currently staying with my parents and having 'only' 3 is so much easier tbh...

You will be fine.
Yes, it will be hard work. Yes, at times you will be frazzled.
You will just have to keep going, one day at a time, until you come out the other side.

FWIW, I think 4 is a brilliant number of kids to have (obviously) and my youngest is now 3 so there are times I feel quite chilled now . 'Twas not always like that...

Wishing you a chilled-out baby when the time comes x.

surfingbabies · 21/04/2013 09:01

Don't have anymore then

janey68 · 21/04/2013 09:05

I agree-looking after someone else's kids is always different. You're very aware that they are someone else's and out of their usual
Routine. I've no doubt 4 young children will be tough, and that combination of having a newborn baby who may wake frequently and a toddler who needs watching every second is exhausting. But tbh I think it would be worse to have bigger age gaps and be returning to Babydom after experiencing freedom! At least with 4 under 5yrs, yours will all be similar stages which I think longer term is far preferable. Good luck anyway

MummytoKatie · 21/04/2013 09:14

Presumably you also had your own kids to look after? Ie 9 kids with 6 under 5? And you are pregnant? And you have survived? I think you will be fine!

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 21/04/2013 09:19

No thankfully my 3 were with their dad no way would I still be standing if I had 9 to look after.

OP posts:

Jinty64 · 21/04/2013 09:21

It's different when they are your own. Lovely, lovely, cuddly, sweet smelling newborn.

FlankShaftMcWap · 21/04/2013 09:44

Do you have support? It is hard with 4, especially when the age range is small. But you do find a groove that works for you. The key is putting as little pressure as possible on yourself. Accept that things will be hectic, the house may be untidy for a while and you may be late constantly sometimes.

Don't expect too much of yourself, I prioritised tasks. DC needs come first, fed, clothed, clean and safe. Then sleep! Then housework/other tasks. My first mistake was thinking I shouldn't rest until housework was done. Rest is secondary only to DC, as long as the house isn't unsafe or a health hazard then it can wait. You can cope with anything as long as you have sleep.

You will be fine, hard does not equal impossible. Your own beautiful baby will make it easier to bear until things settle. They will settle!

FlankShaftMcWap · 21/04/2013 09:46

You sound like an amazing friend by the way, I wish I had a friend like you willing to take all of my DC for 24 hours! You brave woman you

nurseneedshelp · 21/04/2013 09:51

You're looking after your friends 6 children???? Wow! You sound amazing.

Of course you'll cope, you're probably knackered and not thinking straight.....

PacificDogwood · 21/04/2013 09:56

Yes, I totally agree, child care first, sleep second, everything else third.

Original poster

ruledbyheart · 21/04/2013 11:03

Thats true your own are different and I do have a good routine and help at home if needed, just sleep deprived right now only had a maximum of 3hrs last night.

At least my friend has had a well deserved and needed break and all the kids are fed and looked after here... even if I am knackered lol

OP posts:

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