AIBU in feeling the email I received in response to a thank you for having me note was dismissive?

[lolaflores]

I have joined a writing group in my local area but so far hadn't been able to get to any of the meet ups.. Thursday 18th, was one of their read your work nights, I went along to read a short story I had written and meet people and get some feedback and hear what other folk are writing. I had been communicating with the group secretary thus far and let him know I was going.

To say I was shitting myself seems inadequate to the task of describing my nerves. I knew not a soul in the place and not a sinner introduced themselves although I was bouncing around smiling and "hiiiiiiiiii" to anything that moved. couldn't get a break. Did my bit and with the programme I had received, introduced the next person which seemed to be what was done. Went back to my seat, woman in front turns around in loud whisper
"You said the wrong person, it should have been so and soo" whilst shoving her paper under my nose.
I whispered "Sorry".
I went out for a fortifiying fag, Secretary who I had talked to rushed straight past, doing the "I A CAN'T SEE YOU" straight ahead stare.

Left early as babysitter meter ran out about 10 and frankly couldn't face being left standing like a cunt in the corner anymore.

Emailed everyone I could the nxt day to thank them for listening and so on.
Only one replied to give me details of next meeting.
No thank you, no kiss my arse, didn't even acknowledge my coming to the previous one.
Right now I feel about the size of a gnats bollox.
I don't want to feel that they are unfriendly shits, I would much rather think it was all my fault....or something.

Needy Nora of Notty Ash

Everyone read. I did grab one woman for two minutes to express my delight at her poem. but she didn't seem that interested in listening to what i wanted to say. I listened to everyone but the evening shot well over the runway (supposed to finish at 9 but was still going on and babysitter was only there till sort of and I dashed at 9.40).

It sounds a bit like Fight Club or a clique. You can't discuss the rules, you are expected to know.

I wouldn't have a clue what the social "rules" and niceties are for a writing group. How about the Secretary being welcoming and friendly to new people and telling them what the usual procedure is?

I have been in several situations like this (in general and not with writing groups) and really feel for you, OP. I'd probably give them another chance though and try and attend the smaller meet ups. I'd also be honest about the night you attended at these smaller meet ups and say how unfriendly you found it. It's a big thing to test something you have created in public, well done for trying anyway OP.

Fillyjonk thank you for that. I am a bit kamikaze but have not really got nerves about being in front of folk. The atmosphere was not warm. I do think the secretary might have explained some of the way things are done to me. So being kamikaze I just floundered on and possibly came across a galloping great galoot.
Two of them were playing, "I've been to more cocktail parties with the Royal Navy than you when we lived in Barbados".
Not alot I could bring to that. Except being wildly sick in front of my FIL and being found nearly comatosed in the garden. Not the same is it though

Lola how did you hear about this writing group? Were they advertising? Or was it a word of mouth thing? With your update it sounds like something that has evolved into a cliquey sort of ad hoc group of people who already know each other or are doing it for a night out. In which case you would be much better trying to go to an actual writing class (led by a tutor) - maybe in a local council Arts Centre or similar?

I have to say I would have reservations about a very unstructured group like this unless there is someone experienced chairing it / leading it. You would be much better finding a class with an experienced tutor who knows how to keep feedback constructive.

It is known of, they advertise but not extensively. The venue was organised by a nice lady from the council and she said hi to me. There was a writing class had me eye and will investigate further. And it is insightful of you to notice that there was no clear "lead" or focal point ushering things along. To whit, it over ran so badly. no one kept to the alloted amount of time (15 mins). One woman just kept asking
"Do ye want another poem"....
Though the event was not exclusively about them I might add. It was run in partnership with the council. but it didn't seem like that on the night.

Perhpas I should just go back to drinking and writing whilst weeping into my nightie!
See that, got the goods whatever happens

The thing is if everyone there is an amateur it can feel a bit like the blind leading the blind for a first writing group. If possible find a class where the tutor has some kind of track record - published or a competition winner - and has some experience at keeping all the egos under control. Good luck with it :)

Writing thanks for your sensible thoughts. I shall.