To expect better results from new 'toy' sold as delivering heaven on earth

[MrsJackAubrey]

Paid through the nose for what was sold as a luxury-model, personal pleasure-giving toy of the finest calibre. After waiting the required 90 minutes to get the thing fully charged, I expected a little more of the earth to shake than it did. I mean, it did work, but wasnt the Grand Glorious ggggreat experience as promised on the sodding box lid. Pah.

Nothing ever is. Its about getting all turned on in the moment and using it to aid your fantasies. The better, more turned on by your fantasy you are, the better the toy will please you.

That being said, I FULLY recommend a Squeel.

Phone or dildo?

Whats a Squeel? i have a RR but its crap, and too much effort...

Qualitytoffee Sorry, spelt it wrong. It's an oral sex simulator. That REALLY feels like the real thing.

www.sqweel.com/

Have you never been a child who sent of for X-Ray specs only to find they weren't??

In my experience of the kind of toy you describe, I find that heaven on earth is never delivered, but a craft which involves you putting in the most effort!!!

Shurrup you aldi, i want one!! I'm a tesco whore...."every little helps"..

quality you put in too much effort? What on earth are you doing with it? Cartwheels?

I find most things that promise the earth fall far short of it I'm looking at you dh

That wasn't me, that was that aldiwhore wan! xx

Haha Missy, your poor DH.
I want one of those sqweel thingies, they look fab. There is even one to attach your vibro to.

I got a rabbit because people raved about them and was "meh."

If they invent one that will pull my hair and say filthy things, I may be interested.

at katy.

I want one that does the dishes and vacuums up.

Blimey. Just looked at the sqweel thing. Yikes!

The Sqweel looks like the kitchen gadget that minces garlic.

toup of reg. That's making me laugh so much!!!

Wow squeal looks promising! Didn't realise what a lot of self pleasers hung out in mumsnet. I mean, the advice on getting a bra that fits was great, but this is magnificent. (along with X-ray specs I also bought something alleging to enable me to look round corners. I looked a right twit)

Although there is much to be said in praise of the shower attachment, too