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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that I am a failure as a parent because my dd aged 10 doesnt know how to ride a bike

121 replies

sonu678 · 18/04/2013 23:21

Because I have been so caught up in my own work, that I haven spent time taking her out. And her old bike has not only died in the rain where her father left it all year, and I didnt notice. And even if it was prisitne, she is too tall for it, and wouldnt be using her muscles properly on it anyways.

please tell me Im not as bad as I think I am. She hasnt done the bikability in school this week, along with 9 others, because she hasnt got a bike.

OP posts:
firesidechat · 19/04/2013 08:37

Honestly, get her a secondhand bike and get teaching.

Due to various things I never learnt to ride a bike or roller skate as a child and consequently my sense of balance is totally rubbish. A friend finally taught me to ride a bike when I was in my mid teens, but it was really embarrassing and difficult. I didn't take to ice skating or skiing either which has meant turning down some fun invitations. My husband was a keen skier when we met.

I'm obviously not saying that this will happen to your daughter, but the sooner they learn the better. Both of mine were taught when little and they can now ski, skate and ride a bike whenever they need to, which is almost never, but at least they can.

Pendipidy · 19/04/2013 08:37

Why don't you just resolve to get her a bike and teach her, instead of feeling all woe is me about it? Don't worry about the past, look to the future and teach her as soon as you can get a bike!

expatinscotland · 19/04/2013 08:41

everlong, ours don't have swimming lessons at school. You have to go into town and pay for it. The teaching isn't that great, either. DD2, 7, can't swim. She'll learn at a swim camp at my sister's this summer.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2013 08:42

Riding a bike's far from a life skill, though. Meh. I've probably forgotten by now.

Patchouli · 19/04/2013 08:48

No time?
At all?
Sad

Aniseeda · 19/04/2013 08:49

I never taught my youngest DD to ride a bike - I think we had a go early on but she just wasn't getting it and, for various reasons, we just never did it.

Then, one summer, when she was about 9 or 10, a friend came round with her bike and, while the friend bounced on our trampoline, DD got on her bike, scooted about on it and basically taught herself to ride - within a few days! Zero effort on my part Blush We then bought her her own bike!

Get a bike for your DD and have a go this summer - you may well find she picks it up quickly if she is determined.

It's not too late Smile

Gingerodgers · 19/04/2013 08:59

Spend more time with your kids. I find it odd that so many people think this is ok.

MegBusset · 19/04/2013 09:00

DS1 (6) and DS2 (4) can't ride either, even with stabilisers. We have two shiny bikes in the garage which they got last year but they just aren't interested. DS2 is hypermobile which I don't think helps. I have given up for now. I learned when I was 26!

willyoulistentome · 19/04/2013 09:10

Ok cycling isnt a life skill like swimming. I.e not riding a bike isnt a risk to life. But I do feel its important socially. Not being able to join in school bike days, or keep up with friends on bikes is quite sad actually.

stealthsquiggle · 19/04/2013 09:11

Presumably bikeability didn't happen with no notice? So if DD was bothered you would have had a couple of weekends to get a bigger bike and practice. Did she ask, and is she bothered about missing it?

My DC have a big garden to mess around in but bikes are difficult because there is no flat space at all. We have to find an empty village hall car park to get DD any practice so she doesn't ride well (she is 6) and bikes are constantly in need of repair. I do think they need to learn, but it's not a skill they are going to use until they leave home - lethally fast country roads are not for beginners. If we lived somewhere like Cambridge then it would be different.

FinallyMrsFC · 19/04/2013 09:12

My DS is 10 and only learnt to ride a bike a couple of weeks ago. The exact same situation happened, he had a bike, it got rusty, and then he outgrew it. A lot of his friends on the street were riding up and down and he was playing with them but riding a scooter. I think the peer pressure got to him and he practiced on their bikes without me there. As it coincided with his birthday we bought him a bike that was the same make as his friends and he loves taking it out now - even if he is a bit wobbly....!

Jinty64 · 19/04/2013 09:20

Ds1 has ADHD and dyspraxia. I spent hours and hours when he was 4 teaching him to ride a bike. We bought a new bike and helmet for him to do his cycling proficiency in primary 7. He did the first day and wouldn't do any more. He hasn't been on a bike since. Ds2, two years younger, picked up ds1's bike and could ride it a couple of days after ds1 learnt.

Ds3 (6.9) can't ride a bike. He also has a degree of dyspraxia. I have had a couple of goes with him but he just doesn't want to/doesn't have the confidence.

They can all swim!

tabulahrasa · 19/04/2013 09:22

I can't ride a bike - I can't say that it's impacted on my life at all.

Saying that, how can you not have the time? It's not like you need to set aside weeks to do it in, twenty minutes after dinner every few days would get it done soon enough.

Titsalinabumsquash · 19/04/2013 09:54

Nope no lessons at school, plus DS1 hs a portacath in situ in his chest so it makes timing swimming hard, they are fie with arm bands and go nuts in the water its just without they've not grasped yet.

As for the bike riding, DS1 has a wiggly bottom, suspected (undergoing assesment) ASD and ADD or something of that ilk, ad falls off after a few meters.
DS2 has no confidence what so ever so panics if you stop holding him. Both are much happier on a scooter or kicking a football around outside.

Titsalinabumsquash · 19/04/2013 09:57

I can ride a bike btw, don't like riding and can't think of a time when I have needed to ride, I have legs, I can walk/run. I don't think my kids are suffering at all! Swimming is different, I will teach them because that could save a life one day. Time is a problem however, getting 3 boys changed and into a pol after paying for us all and supervising all 3 and teaching to swim is a flipping nightmare! Plus we have 1 pool near by and because its the only one its heaving pretty much all the time.

GreenPeppercorn · 19/04/2013 09:59

Don't sweat it! My daughter is 10 and only learnt to ride a bike maybe 6 months ago? She just couldn't seem to pick it up and I am an impatient teacher so she didn't learn for aaages. Now she can ride a bike and you know what? She's been out on her 'new bike' maybe twice in the last 6 months Angry

GreenPeppercorn · 19/04/2013 09:59

Oh and she can't swim either.

everlong · 19/04/2013 10:01

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GreenPeppercorn · 19/04/2013 10:01

Mine?

everlong · 19/04/2013 10:04

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GreenPeppercorn · 19/04/2013 10:05

She has had lessons since she was 8. It doesn't come easily to some people.

everlong · 19/04/2013 10:06

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GreenPeppercorn · 19/04/2013 10:12

She will be able to learn alongside her own kids at this rate Hmm

everlong · 19/04/2013 10:16

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GreenPeppercorn · 19/04/2013 10:33

She doesn't like water at all so the whole idea of swimming is alien to her. Hates her face to even be splashed in the shower let alone in the pool!

Certainly not giving up, I could have paid Tom Daly to be her private tutor the amount I've spent on lessons but we are progressing at snails pace and certainly not giving up!