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Sister emigrated

7 replies

chocolatehomemade · 18/04/2013 21:39

To be (although a bit childish and trying to hide it from rest of family) p off inside about my sister emigrating - this also involves more to it than just her happiness which your OK with first - when it actually happens to you all sorts of thing start occurring to you, like - i.e looking after elderly parents ect will be left to me - sorry I know it sounds mean - I wish her well but also feel hurt which is irrational and that's why I keep it to my self.

OP posts:

mateinthree · 18/04/2013 21:48

Life's too short to not follow your dreams just in case your parents need a bit of help in their old age.


HollyBerryBush · 18/04/2013 21:50

Her life, her choices. The world is made up of people who have moved hundreds and thousands of miles from their homeland to make a better life for themselves.


chocolatehomemade · 18/04/2013 21:55

sorry about the 2 threads I thought I got the title wrong the first time - I am fairly new here

OP posts:

WidowWadman · 18/04/2013 21:58

I'm the sister who moved away. Well, not OP's sister, I don't think, that'd be weird. But I emigrated, whilst my siblings live in the same road as my elderly parents.

It often makes me sad, knowing that if/when they get frail, I won't be able to be there for physical support. It's really not easy. So if you're quietly feeling mad/jealous at her for 'having got away', just remember that it's wouldn't be unlikely for her to feel pretty shit about it.


Atinybitworried · 18/04/2013 21:58

Yanbu. You can feel happy for her, but still feel hurt. I hate the fact that my sister lives in Australia. It's far away, I miss her, I don't know her children and she doesn't know mine. It's a completely different time zone, so having a chat needs planning. We've definitely grown apart since she went.

Do I want her to be happy? Of course I do! Life is not black and white and of course I respect her choices, but that doesn't mean I don't want her to come back.

And, yes, it feels a bit like rejection. Selfish of me? Yes, perhaps.

So, I think I completely understand how you're feeling.


chocolatehomemade · 18/04/2013 22:00

atinybit I feel the same

OP posts:

DontmindifIdo · 18/04/2013 22:02

YANBU - just keep it to yourself, or at least away from your Dsis and DParents. Can you talk to your DP/H about it? You might have to have serious conversations about the fact that now to all pratical purposes, you are an only child. This put you front and centre with any family crisis on your side, or just the day to day helping out that older parents need. Does he have siblings and possibly could you be facing dealing with both sides? It's perfectly reasonable to be annoyed that you have had a lot more pressure popped on your shoulders by someone else's choices.

It also is sometimes when someone else does a big life change like this that it makes you think about your own life, if you are just plodding along, happy enough - someone else deciding this isn't enough for them makes you feel like it shoiuldn't be for you too, or an insult on your life IYSWIM.

It might be worth using it to start conversations with your DH about anything you'd like to do, move away, start new careers that you've not really thought about because life got in the way.

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