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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you ever come across someone who makes you think

28 replies

CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 20:22

Have you ever come across someone who made you think...if we weren't both 'taken' ...you'd be ideal :)

OP posts:
dilanddan · 18/04/2013 20:35

Not exactly the same, but I went out with a guy from my 6th form when we were 16/17 and we broke up after a year. For a few years after that I stalked him on facebook always wondered what it would be like if we were still together and knew that we'd make a lovely couple.

Cut a long story short, we're both 22 now and got back together 2 years ago and have a gorgeous 9month old daughter who is our world :) So yup, we are the ideal couple I thought we were!!

Rockinhippy · 18/04/2013 20:36

Yep, I married him some 15 odd years later :)

LondonMan · 18/04/2013 20:38

Happened to me on my recent holiday (without DW.)

Unfortunately the idealness would have been one way. Her DH was taller, younger, thinner, more well-spoken and in a more prestigious and interesting job than me. (There are probably other ways he was a better option that I've temporarily forgotten.)

What was even more depressing, given she mentioned her age, was that using the half-your-age-plus-seven rule, this professional posh going-into-middle-age women would, depending on her month of birth, been theoretically to bloody young for me!

IneedAyoniNickname · 18/04/2013 20:39

Yes, but we live at opposite ends of the country, and never seem to be single at the same time!

Original poster
CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 20:40

Lovely story :) in my case its purely fantasy...don't know much about him at all. But you know when you both just have that chemistry. I am obviously not daft enough to think that kind of chemistry is enduring as its probably mainly due to the fact we don't know each other. Gave me a pleasant feeling all the same...and I won't be seeing him again.

OP posts:
cees · 18/04/2013 20:40

Yes about Tom Hardy

Original poster
CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 20:41

Yeah reality gets in the way London man. But we can still enjoy the fact we met them and they briefly made us feel something.

OP posts:
Jescha · 18/04/2013 20:45

Lol cee I was just about to write yes, Jorah Mormont would be my perfect husband. I don't have to 'meet' him to know that.

DearJohnLoveSavannah · 18/04/2013 20:48

Yes the love of my life. We live thousands of miles apart though and hes with someone else. Kills me every single day.

Startail · 18/04/2013 20:50

A few possibles, not a definite replacement.

DH admits to just one. He worked with her abroad for a couple of weeks, she was engaged and he was 'expecting' his first DC.

I know nothing happened, if it had, DH would never have mentioned her existence.

Jescha · 18/04/2013 20:51

I do believe in that initial chemistry though. I was with someone else when I met dh and thought to myself in the first week of knowing him "I bet we end up together." The relationship I was in lasted 2 more years then dh and I got together 6 months later.

Lottashakingoinon · 18/04/2013 20:52

Well a mere 9 posts in and this thread has taught me a LOT about myself and I'm not sure I like what I've learnt.

See with you Cognitive (I am assuming you are female) I am thinking awwwwwww, how warm and fuzzy. With you Londonguy funny and self deprecating though your post is, I'm just thinking 'you effing bastard, I'm sure your DW is way too good for you anyway....' Wink

Original poster
CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 20:57

Yes, its a controversial topic. I do think people are allowed to experience these feelings without causing issues with their current relationships. I guess it depends on the perspective of the person posting as to whether their attraction to another is problematic or not. Tricky...

OP posts:
SugarMiceInTheRain · 18/04/2013 21:02

Oh yes. Pretty recently in fact I met someone with whom I could just chat for hours, we had so much in common and got on great. We pretty much both admitted that if I were single we'd definitely get together. Had to take a long hard look at myself and try very hard to think up reasons why we wouldn't be so good for each other (and that was very difficult - best I could come up with was the fact that he's 7 years younger than me) in order to stop myself thinking about him and wishing I were single and available. Even my best friend (through whom we met) reckons this guy and I were meant to meet (whatever the hell that means). Confused

Original poster
CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 21:10

I'm sure it's bound to happen to many people. Thing is the fantasy is usually better than the reality.

OP posts:
LaQueen · 18/04/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyWearer · 18/04/2013 21:34

Yes, unfortunately all of two days after I'd got together with a boyfriend at university I met someone who made my heart skip several beats.

And the new boyfriend was the nicest man in the history of the world and had patiently put my broken heart back together after a previous break-up before finally making his move. So I couldn't bring myself to dump him.

I had one of the most romantic moments of my life with this man (not the boyfriend) without anything romantic or kissy even happening.

I knew him for a few more years, but the timing was never right.

MissSusan · 18/04/2013 21:37

Sort of, I can meet someone I could imagine dating and probably have a really good time with, but no one I could spend the rest of my life with, where as when I knew I fancied dp (we were friends for years before we got together) I knew that was it.

OkayHazel · 18/04/2013 21:38

Johnny Depp

AuntieStella · 18/04/2013 21:43

Yes, but only in a very transient, pleasant day-dream type way. Nothing that came close to a temptation to act.

Original poster
CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 21:45

Very good way of descending it auntiestella

OP posts:
Original poster
CognitiveOverload · 18/04/2013 21:45

Describing not descending

OP posts:
Minshu · 18/04/2013 21:46

My DP. It was about 4 years from meeting to us getting together due to the relationships we had been in. I even got married and spilt up with XH in that time but couldn't stop thinking about DP from when we first met.

happybubblebrain · 18/04/2013 21:54

I've never met anyone who comes to close to ideal, single or taken. In fact I've never met anyone who comes close to slightly compatible. I think I am the odd one out; or maybe it's just because I haven't met Johnny Depp yet - I'll fight OKayHazel for him.

WhatALark · 18/04/2013 21:57

Yes.
Six years ago.
Now we're both recently single and I'm really nervous!

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