to be quite enjoying DH being away and considering taking kids on holiday without him?

[princessj29]

I loveDH very much of course but have found I'm quite enjoying him being away with work this week. I haven't had to shave my legs, have eaten tons of garlic and offensively flavoured crisps without a second thought, am snuggled reading in bed with a sleepy DD2 beside me instead of watching football/fishing/police chase programmes. DD2 is much happier as she's going through the ten month old clingy phase and DD1 is really happy to have me uninterrupted. Tomorrow we're having a 'girls night in' with baking, pampering, watching the animal awards and a sleepover in my room! Think DH was a bit offended when he called earlier that no one seemed to be missing him, though of course we told him we are. In the summer holidays I was thinking of taking the children on holiday abroad while he's working (we have a family holiday booked too). I can afford to pay for it out of my savings but feel I'm BU a) for quite enjoying this week and b) considering leaving him while we holiday. AIBU?

Go for it!

We have 2 DSs and since January this year have had these holidays/breaks:

Mum + Dad weekend away
Mum + DS1 weekend away
Family long weekend away
Mum long weekend away
Dad 2 nights away
Mum + DS2 long weekend away
Dad + DS1 week away
Mum + kids weekend away

And this is fairly normal for us. Family hols are lovely. But so is one-one time with your child. And so is exclusive adult time. For us, all these breaks make us stronger and improve our relationships with each other. (These are not luxury spa breaks BTW!! Usually cheap Travelodge or similar) Its what we've always done and lots of people think we're very odd, but it works for us.

Op did you sort out your other problem on previous thread.

Sorry if I have mixed u up with someone else.

On this I adore dh but am quite happy for him to work away and cope fine.

LaQueen you and I could be great friends if it wasn't for wanting to be on our own

Aw I love living with DP but I also quite like it when he is occasionally away - eat exactly what I want for tea and when, watch rubbish on the TV, leave my clothes in a pile in the middle f the bedroom etc

Sometimes it is nice to do exactly what you want, not the option that is best for both of you.

OP, I agree with StuntGirl that you are putting needless pressure on yourself. I don't imagine your DH cares whether you have shaved your legs or not that day! So you need to think about why it is important to you, given that it sounds like you find it a bit of a pain really. Same with the garlic and crisps. Does he never eat stuff like that when you don't? Or things you don't like? Surely you brush your teeth at the end of the day and all is sorted!

On the holiday front, if your DH works till 7 I think a little break for you and the DDs together sounds really nice. Although if you are enjoying time together at home, then you could probably just do that again and save money! (if money's an issue) But YANBU for enjoying time alone / in a different household set up for a change.

(Garlic tip - grow some parsley. Chew some after consuming garlic. Garlic goes away. Job's a good 'un)

I know what you mean OP. life's like that in our house when DH is away. Just more chilled.

I like spending time with dh and I (sometimes) like spending time with the DCs, but somehow when everyone's together it seems hard going. Too many conflicting interests I think, too many demands for my time and attention.

That's precisely it,Bastard dog. Everyone seems to be demanding my attention from the moment I wake til bedtime when he's here, it's much more chilled without

LaQueen I too also fantasise about DH and I living next door to one another.

But surely if things are more chilled without him there is an underlying problem?

My OH is away at the moment and I know exactly what you mean. When you live with someone, there are things you do to make the shared space nice and some of these can be dropped when the other person is away!

As it happens, I just finished booking a trip away (to visit my parents) for 10 days in the summer. OH wasn't keen on coming as he had in-law overload at Christmas but I really want to go so off we pop!

We will have some holiday days as a family too but if it suits you as a family to go away without OH, the go for it!
A friend of mine was saying that her mum used to take her sister and her away for a month or so over the summer to family but dad still had to work. She loved it and she is very close to her dad. Go for it and enjoy!

Blimey wondering looking for problems where there is none! Some people just like space and not having to accommodate others however undemanding they are. Some people just like their own company or to do their own thing uninterrupted. Doesn't mean they feel anything less for partner/husband.

Well in that case I'm glad because we function better apart asa family as well. When we go on holiday we take turns rather than all trek out together. Far less stressful.

I'm another one that enjoys my own space and 'girly time' with my DD much to MIL's disgust.

I think it's a bit tricky if your DH is going to be upset by you taking the DC's away abroad for a week but am not sure that's entirely reasonable on his part.

Fwiw, I try and arrange weekends away when DH is doing something, but as we have quite different interests he's not always interested in doing what we're doing anyway and certainly wouldn't stop us. We're off to visit my best friend at the end of May which has coincided with him having sport commitments, and he was having a weekend at home when we do our annual theatre trip in July but has now been invited somewhere so I'm hoping we can extend our break and do an extra night in London.

One thing I would say though is it might be better to do a short break nearer home initially. It's one thing being chilled out when it's just the three of you in your own home with all your own stuff, but you might find it harder work when you're away from your own environment and having to keep two small children occupied.

YADNBU for wanting to do it though.

Are you my sil? We were away on a short holiday with them over Easter and her dh (my dh's brother) forbade her to eat a piece of garlic bread at dinner! Fucking tool.

at Minty! Did she eat it or not?

Doesn't even occur to me to think of that kind of thing - surely that's one of the joys of being married !

No, she didn't . He is like something from the Stone Age, tbh.

Dh and I have very little in common with them and were only on holiday with them because it was a pil thing!

I used to take the ds's to my mother's for a few days several times a year now I book a caravan. Dh doesn't go on holiday and anyway he won't leave the dog!