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AIBU?

AIBU to inform the school?

42 replies

Gossipmonster · 17/04/2013 18:24

DD is in yr 9 at high school. She is honest and down to earth and doesn't make up stories.

She came home today and told me that a girl in her yr (who is often in trouble and comes from quite a "well known" family in the area) went into French today (which was 1st lesson ) and was pissed out of her head. She had a bottle of "water" which she had nearly finished drinking which was actually neat vodka.

DD said the whole classroom stank of booze and the girl was behaving in a drunken/loud manner.

The teacher didn't appear to notice and also had a heavy cold so could not smell it.

If I do anything I will ask for it not to be known it was DDs mum that told them - but should I tell the school? Mainly out of concern for the girl but also from the aspect of safety for all the other kids - anything could've happened and the girl herself could've killed herself with alcohol poisoning.

Or will it just cause a whole load of shit for her at home/school where she is clearly struggling anyway?

OP posts:

Report

Rosesforrosie · 17/04/2013 20:27

You should tell the school (but you already know that).

quesadilla · 17/04/2013 20:31

Agree with what's been said. I would tell the head of year, maybe. And make sure your dd's name is kept away from it.
It does seem very odd that the teacher didn't notice though, cold or no cold. I can spot even a discreet drunk at 50 paces. How hard can it be with a teenager who has downed a bottle of vodka?

Flisspaps · 17/04/2013 20:37

always that were my thoughts.

OP, is your DD certain, could the girl not have been bragging and acting before bunking off?

Gossipmonster · 17/04/2013 21:05

Whether the room stank or not she was still drinking in school - which is off.

OP posts:

charlieandthechocolatecake · 17/04/2013 23:52

One of my friends at school done this on a regular basis.

She died at 22 from alcohol poisoning.

Please tell the school.

BrittaPie · 18/04/2013 00:04

I used to do this. I also sat most of my GCSEs drunk or hungover. But then I also took in a little blade so I could discreetly cut myself to focus my mind, and took a great pride in very obviously falling asleep on the table halfway through the exam, and I got an irate note for writing Pulp and Manics lyrics on the back of the exam paper. It was 2001, they weren't even cool then :-/

Anyway, nobody noticed. A couple noticed the self harm, but didn't do much, as they didn't want to "label" me. Sigh. If anyone had bothered to "label" my obvious sensory, anxiety and social problems at any point I wouldn't have got to the age of 15 thinking I was just broken for no reason.

Flisspaps · 18/04/2013 07:31

Yes, but my question was was she actually drinking, or just pretending to to look big in front of the other kids?

cory · 18/04/2013 07:53

This happened in dd's class a couple of years ago. The other girls told the teacher in confidence as they were concerned about the girl. She did need support and she got it.

I think your dd should talk to the teacher, she will be able to give a much more accurate report than you can at second hand.

innermuddle · 18/04/2013 08:42

I think you should call the school. The school would have no reason to tell the girl it was your daughter who' told' so there is no reason not to tell the school. The girl needs help!
I know several adults who had troubling childhoods, they all say that people knew but did nothing, it seems we are all too reluctant to be the whistle blower. My feeling is we are all responsible foe the safety of any child in our community. Therefore we have a duty to offer support or to flag concerns with someone who can help.

mrsjay · 18/04/2013 08:55

she is a young girl i am not sure what yr 9 is i am guessing she is 15? poor kid drunk in the morning phone the school not sure what you can do perhaps phone the school anon and tell them what you heard

mrsjay · 18/04/2013 08:56

sorry last line of my post made no sense but you get the gist

PearlyWhites · 18/04/2013 09:17

Umm vodka doesn't smell much do doubt the classroom stank if alcohol

mrsjay · 18/04/2013 09:17

If i have been drinking vodka you can smell it I am not sure why people think vodka doesn't smell

noblegiraffe · 18/04/2013 09:23

Do phone, and make it clear you are phoning out of concern for the girl rather than making a complaint about the teacher or the school for not noticing.

lljkk · 18/04/2013 11:00

Tell school for sure. Let us know what they said.
vodka has very little aroma, hence why it is top choice for sneaky drinkers everywhere.

mrsjay · 18/04/2013 11:28

maybe when i drink vodka I drink too much

CajaDeLaMemoria · 18/04/2013 11:31

This used to go on all the time when I was at school (not that long ago!)

There is likely to be processes in place for the school. Speak to the head of year, and the girl's tutor group leader, and they'll tell her mentor. That way, she can get help. You don't need to mention your daughter, if you don't want too: just state that you've seen her drinking from a vodka bottle/she smells heavily of vodka/she's behaving in an intoxicated way, and you are concerned.

It rarely stops with alcohol at school, in my experience, so it's worth saying something to try and stop this from escalating.

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