to want to be told when my toddler isn't 'perfect'?

[changedmynametoomanytimes]

when my toddler is with me we have mainly a lovely time ... but tantrums are the norm and I try my best to keep calm and wait for them to end.

It seems when my toddler is with family members, another child is born!

'Oh x has been wonderful ALL day!' or 'X never plays up when with us'

It drives me mad! I can't seriously believe that my toddler doesn't have one tantrum etc in a whole day ... and it makes me feel like a crap mum :(

My mum is the only one to say that her and my dad have had a lovely day with my toddler ... but there were one or two moments that passed quickly - ie - a normal day in the life!

Does everyone have this? Or does my child only play up for me? (which I doubt very much ) - I just feel a little underminded when I've been tearing my hair out and they've been polishing DC's halo!

I actually feel sorry for him when he's tantrumming - you can see in his face that he has no idea why he just flung his packet of crisps on the floor, and he's distraught he did it, but he has no idea how to calm himself.

I have a theory about this as we have exactly the same with our dd. Could it be that they somehow know that parental love is unconditional so feel secure enough to misbehave? Lucky us