Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my 20 year old son to get out of bed & go back to Uni?

46 replies

themidwife · 17/04/2013 16:26

He's 20, he was due back at Uni last weekend, he is still at home, sleeping all day & on his computer & cooking chips all night. I keep coming home from work in the afternoon & HE'S STILL IN BED! GRRR!! We had a huge row earlier - I was called out at 7pm last night - go back at 2am, slept for a few hours & went back to work for a couple of hours. Went home again & he was STILL IN BED!! AngryAngryAngryAngry

OP posts:
HousewifeFromHeaven · 17/04/2013 19:54

At 20 years old?? Shock

I

HousewifeFromHeaven · 17/04/2013 19:56

Wow sorry so Shock I posted too soon

Seriously though, will he really be able to get another so well paid?

sukysue · 17/04/2013 20:03

Yes he must have been daft to give up a job like that sorry op . I am amazed and slightly worried for him he sounds like he could be depressed . I mean if I gave my 50k job up to go to uni and be hating it I'd be bloody suicidal ! what a huge disappointment for him poor lad.

squeakytoy · 17/04/2013 20:04

"It was brave to leave his job & try it & I understand why he wants to leave."

If this is actually true.. then no, it wasnt brave, it was utterly fucking idiotic to give up that sort of salary in the current economic climate and with the job market so sparse..

usualsuspect · 17/04/2013 20:06

I think he was daft to give up a career to go to Uni.

Madsometimes · 17/04/2013 20:13

Thecat there are rules about second degrees. If you already have a degree, you will not get funding for a second degree and may be charged higher fees than undergraduates taking a first degree. These are called ELQ fees. For example, I am considering doing a course which will cost £10,600 in ELQ fees. I will need to pay these up front every year.

I am not sure what the rules are if you have started but not finished a first degree.

Certain courses are exempt from ELQ fees, such as nursing, radiography, PGCE.

TheCrackFox · 17/04/2013 20:15

He should go back to his old career.

My big bro left uni after the first year and does very well in IT (he would think £50k is chicken feed, sadly, I do not.)

themidwife · 17/04/2013 20:16

Yes it was idiotic to give up that job but I know he would always have regretted it if he didn't go. His boss said there would always be a job for him so hope that's true. I think he is depressed but lying in bed all day won't help. Anyway he's gone back determined to pass the rest of the year's assignments & think hard about things. In fact he just sent me a text from the services apologising for being so distant & apathetic at the moment. I feel a heel now Sad

OP posts:
themidwife · 17/04/2013 20:19

Yeah he would have been on £65k now if he hadn't left! He's been working as a freelance programmer since he was 13 so by the time he was 18 he could programme in 3 languages with a large portfolio & wiped the floor with the graduates who went for that job. He left on very good terms with a promise for a job if he came back. I hope they meant it!

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 17/04/2013 20:22

So why on earth does he need a degree??

KittyAndTheFontanelles · 17/04/2013 20:26

Wow themidwife that's extraordinary Shock. You must be very proud Smile

he should be keeping you

sukysue · 17/04/2013 20:34

Feel sorry for him to be honest with you . I hope everything works out ok for him op.

squeakytoy · 17/04/2013 20:34

If I were him I would be going right back there now.. I doubt there are many of his mates who will walk out of uni into jobs, never mind jobs that pay so well at his age.. but there is a chance that his boss will find someone else who can fill the place.. I wouldnt take that risk.

usualsuspect · 17/04/2013 20:36

He never needed a degree did he.

Getting a degree is not the only way to get on in life.

themidwife · 17/04/2013 20:39

They did employ someone else (my DS trained him) but it's a fast growing company & the guy who replaced him isn't impressing them apparently.
I think he is depressed because he made a bad move. He doesn't need a degree. But he wanted the Uni life & to try living in a big city. A very expensive party!! Shock

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 17/04/2013 20:41

why could he not live in the big city AND do his job too? he would certainly have been earning enough to live wherever he wanted..

themidwife · 17/04/2013 20:47

I know I know SadSadSad

OP posts:
themidwife · 19/04/2013 19:06

Phew!! Managing Director & founder of the IT Company he used to work for has said there is a "Substantial Role" available for him! Smile

OP posts:
KittyAndTheFontanelles · 19/04/2013 19:58

That's great news themidwife. Does that mean he will leave uni and eat all your chips ?

thermalsinapril · 19/04/2013 20:13

I think he is depressed but lying in bed all day won't help.

Do you mean he is fed up because of his circumstances? Or do you mean a depressive illness?

If you think he has depression then you're right, nothing will help unless he gets the correct treatment. The first port of call would be the GP or university counselling service.

However, if you just mean that he's a bit fed up and lacking direction, then maybe suggest he gets some advice and suggestions rom the University careers centre "to get ahead of everyone else who'll be visiting them this year".

RumbleGreen · 19/04/2013 20:39

50k a year, why is he complaining about having no money where did it all go?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page