To ask if being verbally abused has had a long term impact on you?

[Shagmundfreud]

.... have been mulling on this issue.

Posted another thread about ask.fm in relation to this issue. DD1 (13) is adamant that the abuse that is dished out on sites like this is common and that teens are used to be called whores and ugly bitches - she says she's not bothered by it.

I don't agree - I think verbal abuse can be incredibly harmful, particularly for young people, and can leave emotional scarring. I think dd is being damaged by it, however much she denies it. I consider myself a strong adult, with good self-esteem, but I can still remember and feel saddened by cruel things that were said to me years ago. I would NEVER put myself in a situation where I was practically inviting people to comment on my looks and personality - which is what you're doing when you join a site like ask.fm. It's all about attention seeking and being desperate to be validated, which is why teens like it.

So, am I being a bit over-sensitive and a wimp? Or is it fair to believe that we're not entirely in control of your feelings and responses when it comes to verbal abuse. Especially when that verbal abuse is strongly sexualised.

sole, ditto with you.

thing is OP she may stop using that site but therell alwats be others to find.

its a lot of peer pressure too.

its like kids calling each other 'pikeys' and 'gay'.

remember that crap saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me'? who the hell wrote THAT?

its the biggest load of tosh.

gosh had it today with doctor!

usual doc wasnt in for my app so saw another one. Im in a lot of physical pain and been going once a month for checkups and my iusual doc is so nice and understanding.

this one spoke to me like i was a hipochondriac-ed (is that a word?!) kid or old lady. virtually told me theres snothing wrong with me etc etc, and was really bad mannered and patronising.

yeah, i make up my pain, its not really there, my legs buckle under me for no reason whatsoever.

I know he doesnt know me from adam but i was so shocked i judst stared open mouthed at him and then i think he realised his lack of bedside manner.

a bolder person would have answered back/complained. but a person whos been verbally abused? could YOU?you just feel the worlds against you all the time, anything even remotely negative.

anyone else feel that?

Marj, this is slightly off topic but have you been investigated for Fibromyalgia? I have that and your last post rang bells with me. It's a pain condition like a cross between ME and arthritis. Pm me if you want x

Measlymiddleages (always have to say that in Larry voice!)ive pmd you.

Ooph, thanks Marj, I always fail utterly to notice when I've been pm'd!

I think it depends on your make up - call me a c and I'll either give it right back or laugh .... do it to someone else and they will be in a crumpled heap and need therapy for 20 years

kim thats awful too. not exactly enid Blyton mallory towers was it?

and holly you're right. some people's (like DC)best form of defence is attack, but others (like me) well,call them a tortoise,
wanting to get back in thier shell and hide from the world and never come out.

I think being called a cunt (or whatever) repeatedly over a long period of time by your parent(s), would be enough to affect most people quite badly.

Am a single mum and almost two years ago I started seeing this guy who got full on really quickly when I broke it off with him he told me that I was a dirty fat cunt and no one would ever want to be involved with me and my retarded kids (dd has sn) Because of that I've not been able to so much as look at another man, would be frightened to have sex with anyone because of my body and hsve now accepted that I'm going to be alone because no one would want me so yes it does

Very much so.

My mum had issues with weight and spent my childhood telling me I was fat. I wasn't, I was totally normal - she was a size 20. Packed lunch at school was a teeny sandwich in a teeny box because I was fat.

Gave me huge issues with food which I'm only just getting over.

Was also bullied, name called, picked on. Even by teachers. I was so lonely and confused. Everyone hated me. My parents seemed indifferent to me. Was diagnosed with asperger's a while back now so I can see that I may have been 'odd'.

That kind of abuse never leaves you. I now trust very few people and end up doing shite I don't want to do to please people.

Queencat, I would take you out, make you look in a mirror, see all your brilliant points and make you love yourself

Oh that makes me sound everso slightly gay.

If you cant walk past a shop window or mirror and flick a sideways look and think ... "ah-ah! today I can conquer the world because I am fucking marvellous" then I need to write a book on how to know you are loveable and wonderful!

don't ever let one muppet destroy you.

Thank you hollyberry that made me cry. It's a horrible feeling to be honest and I think I'm far too gone down the path of being able to think my way out of it and convince myself otherwise.