To want a weekend away and leave dh with dcs?

[ariane5]

I have 4 dcs (11,6,3 and 1).

All have a disability (EDS) and other serious unrelated health problems.
Dh and I also have EDS. DH severely affected (dislocates knees daily and was in hosp at weekend with dis shoulder).

I am exhausted trying to deal with everything and my brother suggested I go with ds2 to his house for a weekend for a bit of a rest. I would leave other 3 dcs with dh and take ds2 as he's still bf and to be honest I really want to spend some time with him, take him out for a walk, play with him as usually he doesn't get much attention due to other dcs needs being so great.

BUT both my mum and mil have said its unfair for me to leave dh for the weekend with the other dcs and that I chose to have 4 dcs so shouldn't just "swan off" with the "easiest" of them all for a break.

Dh said he will manage but now I feel guilty, I just thought a weekend of not having to cook/clean/worry about all dcs would be bliss.
Dh is going for a holiday in aug with his brother and friends for a week so I will have all dcs on MY own (but that's ok apparently according to mil etc).

AIBU to want a break too?

I'm sure MIL would really appreiciate that. I'd have to run quick after telling her to piss off!

Perhaps you ought to start if she has you questioning what should be an absolutely simple, non-drama, straightforward decision

Just a thought

You're right.

She complicates everything and fills me with self doubt.

I will just go.Ignore her texts/calls and relax for a change

yay !

if things are ok with your H, simply tune her out. She has no right to make you doubt yourself.

perhaps your H should say it clearly and plainly he wants you to have a weekend away to recharge your batteries, and if anyone wants to make a comment, then they make it to him ?

Yanbu go!!!

Ignore your mum and mil trying to guilt you.

Xx

Does your husband work or are you both usually looking after the children?

That said, it is only a weekend-I'm sure he'll manage!

Surely the children were also his decision??!!

Yes he works full time so is really exhausted but he will be getting a break too.

To be honest the grief we get from our families I'm going to suggest to him we tell them nothing from now on.

So-usually you look after them all by yourself all week?

So there`s no reason for him not to look after 3 of them for a weekend.

Telling families nothing in future sounds the way to go!

Good plan

You are a family unit of your very own

Keep other beaks right out of it

Yes he works 9-6 every weekday and occasionally saturdays.

I find it really exhausting but equally dh job (stonemason) is very hard work. Dh has no issue with having dcs its just mil and dm trying to put me off.
I know I will feel better after a break

You won't feel better after the break if you spend the whole time feeling guilty!

I know this sounds horrible, but if you were injured and in hospital or worse - your family WOULD survive without you because believe it or not, you are not indispensible. A short break will not kill your husband or your children. Infact, a break is necessary for you to continue being a good Mum.
Too many mums think no one in their family could survive if they are not there - Its not about them - its about you and your guilt feelings.