Are restaurant customers with children less appreciated than those without?

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I mad a very horrible experience today at a Brighton Pier restaurant today. I heard so many good things about their food and my friend's daughter loves fish and chips. The restaurant was huge but had only a few tables occupied. We wanted to sit at the window to enjoy the view and the waitress placed us at a table four four with our three children. No problem as my friend's DC sit next to her on the bench and I had the highchair next to me chair. We therefore didn't use more space than somebody with four persons.

Right away we noticed the couple next to us on a table for four complaining about the children. We take our children regularly for lunch to restaurants, they are quiet and well-behaved.

We just sat down, got the children undressed and were ready to order food when a waiter came over and asked the people next to us if they would like to go to another table but their simply replied 'No we were here first.'

The waiter went away, spoke to a colleague and we were asked to leave.

I couldn't believe it. It's a children's friendly restaurant, there were a few families with small children. I was so angry and just said of course, it is your loss not ours.

What would you have done? Shall I send an email to the manager?

Did you question the manager about why you were seated there if the table wasn't the right size? As others have said they should have turned you away at the door, not seated you and then asked you to leave.

I am getting really confused, I have now read the review - I can't see why you have jumped to that conclusion, Lazyjaney.

The problem was clearly because we had the children with us. They simply said it is because we are five on a table for four. We didn't care, why would they? If it was simply a space problem then why did they ask the couple next to us to sit somewhere else to have some peace? Seriously, I don't need to 'beg' for a free meal.

And why did we get seated there in the first place at all if it was a space issue?

Families with kids spend a lot of money in restaurants. Any restaurant owner knows this and they should value your custom. And it was a fish and chip place, not a chi-chi boutique place for illicit shaggers, so no reason there. Sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable and unwanted (sad)

What a horrible experience OP, and good on you for complaining. We've just got back from Spain and their relaxed attirude to children made eating out such a pleasure. British resaurants are really missing out on some hard cash by ignoring the family market.

Also, where have you got that conclusion from Lazyjaney? Have you read the whole
thread?

Gosh, what a horrible ting to happen and then you get accused of lying on here, just because other people think it wouldn't happen.

I would ohone the manager, it's appalling.

From the other reviews and some comments on here from people who have been, it sounds like you had a lucky escape.

And I don't know why you are getting accused of lying here.

Lots of people don't like children in restaurants, well behaved or not. There are plenty of posts on MN by people who choose to go to child-free places or who eat out later in the day to try and avoid them.

There are plenty of people who would complain about being seated near children, or having children seated near them, regardless of how well behaved they were being.

The waitress could have been inexperienced and not known the policy of not seating five people at a table for four, or thought the baby wouldn't count as it was in a highchair, or thought it didn't matter as the two other children were seated on a bench with their mother and so could all fit.

And although on a normal day you might have thought to question why you were being asked to leave, if you were all hungry and wanted to get the children fed, plus if you were feeling embarrassed and wanting to get away before everyone started to stare, and felt that you didn't want to give somewhere so crap your money now anyway, then why not just leave and do as the OP has done, complain later once the children were fed and you'd had time to think about your treatment and decide it just wasn't on?

It's very plausible that all of this happened exactly as the OP has said.

OP some years ago now my mother took me shopping as a birthday treat. We had a lovely lunch and then some more shopping, then at about 3pm decided we could do with a drink and a small snack.

She took me to one of those American diner places that were popular at the time, and it was virtually empty at that point in the afternoon. The bloke seating people asked us what we intended to buy, we said we didn't know until we saw the menu and he said he couldn't let us in unless we told him. My mother said we planned to get a drink and a snack and he said that he felt we wouldn't be spending enough money to justify getting a table and turned us away. They had about three other groups in the place and about 30 empty tables.

We left but my mother was furious with herself later because she just left without complaining.

Sometimes it is a bit of a shock and an embarrassment at the time and you do just want to leave. It's only later that you think you should have stayed to argue or complain.

"Also, where have you got that conclusion from Lazyjaney? Have you read the whole thread?"

I suspect I'm one of the few that has actually read the whole thread. The OPs original post and title implied the restaurant threw them out, because they had kids and a couple near them complained.

The OP then, after quite a few queries, eventually admitted a page or 2 back that it was simply a problem of them being a party of 5 people, and no 5 people tables being available (but to see that you have to actually read the thread of course). Nothing to do with kids, nothing to do with grumpy child hating couple tropes, they would have had the same problem if it had been 5 Carmelite nuns.

And I also read the Tripadvsor review exotic, it is virtually the same as the OPs original post, which is how I "jumped to that conclusion"

I don't think OP is lying but her posts are confusing and contradictory and I think the vast majority or people would not have just got up and left without saying anything.

This is the OP's entire unedited post of Tue 16-Apr-13 18:42:24
We were asked to leave because we were 5 people and they only had tables available for a maximum of four.

It is clearly a restaurant that normally welcomes children and the OP has said the kids were being well behaved and quiet at the time. That is why it seems odd and doesn't make sense.

I think it's clear that the OP feels the five people reason was in fact an excuse, and the real reason they were asked to leave was because the other customers were unhappy about having the children seated at the table beside them.

The OP and her group had already been seated and their orders had been taken before they were asked to leave. The time to say they had no tables suitable for their group was before that happened, not after.

But the restaurant staff didn't mention the problem with size of her group until after the other couple had complained and refused to move when they were offered a different table themselves.

The official reason they were asked to leave was because of the table size... but this only happened after the couple complained about the children. This is how I read it.

"The official reason they were asked to leave was because of the table size... but this only happened after the couple complained about the children."

Which is why so many people started to question the OP throughout the thread, as they felt this was very unlikely - that a restaurant chucks out 5 paying customers just because 2 grumpy people complain, for no valid reason. And the OPs story began to change over the thread, which made people even more sceptical.

But of course you'd have had to actually read the thread to see all that.

Lazeyjaney is right. Bottom line is OP left because she did not get the service she expected i.e. the waiter did not try to find another suitable table and generally made no effort to make her feel welcome as a paying customer. I guess it's fair for the restaurant to offer a free meal to say sorry for that.

Either way OP you deserve the free meal for the unpleasant experience even without the embellishment about the unappreciated children

But one of the party was a baby. We are a family of 5 and I never remember a problem in having a table for 4 and a high chair.

I wouldn't want a free meal, I would not want to step in there again and ensure that everyone I knew, knew about it. I hate poor service.

We were in a pub the other day, had sat down with drinks and ordered at the bar. Staff came over with reserved sign and said oh you have to be off that table by 1. We asked why and she said someone had just phoned and reserved it! I told the lady that we were sitting here and I was not in anyway going to rush my dinner as we were here first...so rude! Not sure what they did, but they didn't take my table.

I don't want to argue with you Lazey, as it appears that posters are taking different things from the OP's posts, I just thought that your post:
"You are a nice piece of work."
to the OP was harsh.

LazyJaney. They could fit round a table for 4, they were already sat at one. Chucking them out because there were only tables of four is ridiculous when they could already fit round them and alternatively two tables could have been pushed together.

It's not rocket science. Overzealous waiter decides to chuck out a family because of two grumpy customers. Customer gets cross and posts on mumsnet and trip advisor. Manager panics. He would be an absolute mug to ring the OP and say 'Yes, we kicked you out because you had kids' which would make Mumsnet literally explode, so he goes for the face saving 'space' excuse. Which doesn't really stand up to any scrutiny. For a start if they genuinely couldn't have found them another suitable table they should have let them continue to sit at the one they were already quite happily ensconsed at. But they didn't. Because the other customers were moaning about kids.

It doesn't take Einstein to deduce that.

Thanks bridgetbidet.

Sorry but to the posters saying this, there is no way I'd try to ask to be seated elsewhere after the waiter/whomever had asked me to leave. Why should I be the one to arrange another place to sit in a restaurant which clearly does not want my money? They want me gone; they asked me to leave. I'd have left like the OP did, and you bet I'd be writing to the manager, on TripAdvisor, and to whatever bleating local paper exists in Brighton. :) They love that sort of thing.

Also, yes, there are people in the world who are annoyed simply by having a table of children next to them. I waited tables once upon a time, and I remember people asking to be moved and/or sighing heavily at the very sniff of a child being put near them. That was also in a fairly family-friendly restaurant.

Anyone else really want fish and chips now?