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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect horse (and rider) to reverse for me!

362 replies

AliBingo · 16/04/2013 14:07

Genuinely puzzled here- I live down a single-track lane which is very narrow and windy so you have to drive slowly, anyway I met a horse-rider when I went out earlier.

Where we met, the rider was just past a field gateway passing place - the horse was about halfway past it, so its back legs and the saddle, and the rider herself, were still alongside the passing place. I stopped in plenty of time (couple of car lengths away) and waited for them to get into the passing place.

I waited and after about 30 seconds, rider did a hand gesture to indicate that I was to reverse! I duly reversed about 200 feet back down the lane and then sat waiting for about a minute while the rider proceeded to the passing place alongside me.

She looked a bit grumpy and didn't thank me, presumably because I hadn't reversed straightaway. But I had expected her to go into passing place!

So I am now wondering if it's not even possible to get a horse to back up/turn around/reverse etc - can you tell that I know nothing about horses!

WIBU to expect them to go into the passing place practically next to them, or does car etiquette not apply when the other vehicle is a horse!

Thanks!

OP posts:
Khaleese · 16/04/2013 19:14

We live in horse country....i have horses go past that are Frightened of my;
Dog
Pram
Plastic bags
Shoes!!!
Gate
Washing
Bin

I get well out of their way after seeing a few people get thrown.
Crazy creatures, lovely to look at but no amount of money would get me on one. They have brains too small for their body apprently. Apologies to horsey types.

CloudsAndTrees · 16/04/2013 19:17

Even if a horse has right of way, does that really translate into their riders being able to force people to reverse 200 meters? Really?

I thought right of way meant they have the right to use the road, or the right to go first. Not that they have right to make other people make a ridiculously long reverse.

racmun · 16/04/2013 19:21

YABU Reversing a horse is not as easy as reversing a car, lots of horses won't do it.

Turning your house round can cause all sorts of problems if you turn towards home as they can then nap and refuse to go forward.

The horse may have already had issues going pass the layout and been scared of something very inconspicuous to a car driver eg a crisp packet or some other minor object.

Give horses a break most riders don't want to be on the roads but have to.

catgirl1976 · 16/04/2013 19:21

Probably been said but yes, horses can reverse

It's clled 'rein back' but not all horses or riders can do it

NorthernLurker · 16/04/2013 19:22

Does your head explode if you reverse more than 2o metres then? Hmm I never knew that! Naughty horse riders forcing nice drivers to put tehir car in to reverse, depress their foot on the gas and look in the mirrors and over their shoulder.

Right of way means they get to be safe. The person without right of way goes on their way only when the person with right of way has concluded their passage or moved out of the highway. Yes clouds this means that sometimes car drivers will have to sit and wait. Heaven knows how they bear it. Hmm

saintmerryweather · 16/04/2013 19:25

If you cant maneouvre your horse you shouldnt be on the bloody road!

CloudsAndTrees · 16/04/2013 19:26

I can't see how reversing a horse 1-2 feet is more difficult that asking a driver to reverse down a narrow road for 200 feet. And if the horse really can't do it, it should be on a road that is wide enough for a horse and a car to pass each other safely without needing to.

Racmun, why do riders have to be on the road? Genuine question, not a dig! I had always assumed that horses on the road were there for the riders enjoyment, but I'm not a horsy person so will happily be corrected on that.

CloudsAndTrees · 16/04/2013 19:27

I don't mind waiting Northern, but that's not what we are talking about as that isn't what the OP had to do, is it? Hmm

Fillyjonk75 · 16/04/2013 19:27

I don't mind reversing for a horse so much as a white van man who has just shot past a passing place and nearly taken out two cyclists and the front of my car. Or an HGV driver who can't read a 6'6" width sign.

But I digress. Really not a good idea to take a horse out on a single track road if it is likely to not move be able to move back a few feet. But they can be unpredictable. Would be interesting to see what would happen if more traffic had built up behind the OP. Though I have seen twenty plus cars reversing in formation due to one idiotic HGV driver.

SarahStratton · 16/04/2013 19:28

If you can't reverse a car you shouldn't be on the road either.

Outstanding amount of ignorance on this thread, yet again. Hmm

willyoulistentome · 16/04/2013 19:29

Yep prams/buggies always did it for us. We could walk calmly past a tractor hacking a hedge at gazillion decibels and twigs flying with two feet to spare, but a buggy? Whip round and piss off in the opposite direction.

Fillyjonk75 · 16/04/2013 19:29

I always imagine Clouds that they are just going down the road for a short time in between two bridle paths.

Madamecastafiore · 16/04/2013 19:33

Whoever is nearest to the passing place reverses, be it a car, bike, horse or elephant.

That is what I was taught when I learnt to drive.

I find horse riders round here either arses or really nice. Bit like car drivers!

SoupDragon · 16/04/2013 19:35

I've just remembered an inconsiderate horse rider I encountered when walking my dog. I backed into a dip in the hedgerow, held Dill tight by the lead right at his collar and was down at dog height (he's a town dog - not used to horses). Did I get a thank you? No I got a snotty look and a whinge about the fact that some of the 10m long dog lead was on the path.

They compared unfavourably to the lovely rider with the skittish horse I'd encountered earlier where I walked Dill out of sight into a field so she could calm her horse and get by.

Manners cost nothing. I suspect if the rider in the OP encountered had said thank you and smiled all would be forgotten by now. I think it is the apparently snotty attitude that has riled the OP.

NorthernLurker · 16/04/2013 19:39

If you and your horse live on a single track road you'll be using it won't you! I don't understand why people struggle with the simple concept that the horse and rider have right of way. The driver doesn't. Moaning about this is pathetic.

I despair of people reading my links and educating themselves out the mindset that anybody in a car MUST get their way but here's some nice video here perhaps that will help dispel the ignorance.

malinois · 16/04/2013 19:40

Madamecastafiore - no problem on a pushbike but motorbikes cannot be reversed, or at least not for any distance, particularly if you are having to go uphill (unless you have legs like a Arnie)

CloudsAndTrees · 16/04/2013 19:40

Well nobody should be driving on that sort of road 'too fast' should they? The speedy driver could round a bend and drive in to the horse for a start. That's absurd. You can't to do something safe as a driver because somebody might be doing something unsafe. By that logic nobody would ever reverse at all - or stop at roundabouts because somebody might be coming up behind them too fast.

A driver wouldn't have to be going too fast for it to cause an accident. They could be driving along at a very safe speed and still end up going into another car that was reversing around a bend.

I'm sure I can't be the only person who would find it a massive pain in the arse to be forced into reversing 200 meters along a narrow country lane to find a wider space when there was one right there in front of me.

Letticetheslug · 16/04/2013 19:41

yabu

saintmerryweather · 16/04/2013 19:45

Horse riders might have right of way but surely common courtesy dictates as a horse rider you pull into passing places wherever possible to let drivers pass you. we do round here, and if i thought i couldnt back my horse into a passing places its quarters were still level with, i would turn it round and ride in. and if i were incapable of doing even that id consider myself to be unsafe on the road. if you cant get your horse to move off your leg what on earth do you do at gates?

Smartieaddict · 16/04/2013 19:46

Clouds, to answer your question horses have to be on the roads in order to get to any off road riding. Most horse riders would happily avoid riding on the road if possible, but unfortunately they have no choice as there are really not that many bridleways, and to get to the ones there are, you have to go along roads!

doobiedoobiedoobie · 16/04/2013 19:47

What happens on lanes like this if an ambulance/ fire engine is in a hurry and needs to get past a horse quickly?

Fillyjonk75 · 16/04/2013 19:47

Country lanes are the most dangerous roads.

willyoulistentome · 16/04/2013 19:47

OMG. WANT to be on the road ? If could stay off roads completely, I would. Most riders dont have direct access to acres of off road hacking or miles of bridleways. Most bridleways start and end at a ROAD. Its boring for horse and rider to be stuck in a school all the time., even if you are lucky enough to have one.
We are usually very glad when we get off the road and onto a track.

Plomino · 16/04/2013 19:51

I ride on the road because I like so many other riders , have to . And I'm luckier than most because the most time I have to be on a road is about a mile before I get a bridleway . However , bridleways are being built over all the time . I used to be able to ride from outside my old livery yard in Long Ditton in Surrey , all the way to Cobham without touching a road . Then they built the A3 on it . To get off road from that yard now , takes an hours hacking on two nasty B roads before getting off road . To get to Ashtead was 2 hours there on three main A roads . Some councils are excellent and take horse riders into account , like Hertfordshire and Norfolk , and I am very lucky in having several farmers permission to ride on their headlands , but a lot of people are not . You can't ride in an arena all the time . The horse , not to mention the rider , gets bored , and besides which , hacking is good for teaching horses manners , and acclimatising them to odd things , which can then benefit you in competition . Mine just likes staring at the scenery every so often , because he can .

Not everybody has their own transport to get them off road , and horses need exercise several times a week , which when you have a full time job , can mean just about an hour a day to ride , which doesn't give you much if you're boxing up the horse , getting there ,riding and coming back.

And besides which , if its good for Carl Hester's Valegro , then it's good enough for mine !

I remember a snotty car driver once . Last night , revving his engine at me because I wasn't waving him round a blind bend into the path of an agricultural sprayer . Maybe i should have let him crash into it instead ? And smiled of course , as I always do .

Plomino · 16/04/2013 19:55

doobie

What happens round here is they slow up and turn the sirens off . As any emergency services trained driver is taught , there is no emergency severe enough to justify an accident , in the words of my tutor .

Mind you , I did once meet two of Surrey's finest fire and rescue in full cry coming round a bend ! We ended up in the hedge and they panicked ! Ground to a halt and ran back to see if we were ok , which we were . Horse couldn't have cared less .