To feel sad about DD's birthday tomorrow?

[marinagasolina]

My foster daughter is going to be 16 tomorrow (which technically means I'm no longer privately fostering her and it's just a living arrangement). She's been with me for about a month, she's had a rough year but is now making a real effort to settle down and sort her life out.

I've offered her a birthday party, but she doesn't want one- she's gone back to school now but hasn't really settled in and says she hasn't got anyone to invite :( Her mum will ignore the fact that it's her birthday completely, they had a major fall out which prompted her moving in with me, but haven't been getting on at all for a long time.

I know I'm being ridiculous, I just feel so sorry for her :( Knock some sense into me please.

Why don't you plan a nice evening for her - a special meal and maybe the cinema, or a meal at a restaurant? If she's only been with you for a month and the school is new too, it's probably too early for her to feel comfortable about a party. Moving forward, are there any things out of school that she might enjoy, ie joining a sports club / street dance etc? Get her mixing with people other than those in school?

The 2 of you could do something of her choice together?

DVD? Ice cream? Popcorn? Pizza? I see why she doesn't want a friend /party but I think there's room for u to make a small fuss if u get along well?

I'm taking her out for dinner in the evening- she keeps reminding me she'll officially be old enough to have alcohol with a meal It's not the same though, is it? :(

She used to dance a lot a few years ago in the US but hasn't since moving back here, she's trying out a local class this week so I'm hoping that might give her something to do and somewhere to meet new people. We'll see.

Of course YANBU. Why don't you take her out for lunch/shopping or a pamper?