Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Dh still not back with ds

47 replies

WhereIsMySon · 15/04/2013 12:31

Im rageing

Dh took ds 4 with him to get car serviced at 9am today. Ds has school at 12:15 and they are still not back. I had a txt at 11am to say they will not be long and to get school clothes ready and battery low.

They are not back and dh phone off

I dont think ds is going to school today

OP posts:

LilyAmaryllis · 15/04/2013 13:01

Its in the OP "DS has school at 12.15".

DeWe · 15/04/2013 13:02

I doubt he's choosing to stay there.

Nor will the garage be taking longer than they have to.

Once the car was making a starange noise just before we went on holiday. Dm took the car in on the Wednesday and said "It sounds like a stone's got stuck above that wheel."

Wednesday they tightened the brakes, and changed the oil. (and charged for it)
Thursday they replaced the gear mechanism and part of the exhaust (and charged for it)
On Friday dm turned up with all three of us in tow (age 12, 8 and 4) and said we weren't moving from the show room until they'd found what was really wrong with the car. An hour later an apologetic mechanic came through:
"Sorry Mrs. X. There was a stone caught above that wheel..."

Dm reckoned the potential of sticky fingers on the show cars made them actually look for what was wrong rather than hoping...

Original poster

WhereIsMySon · 15/04/2013 13:22

Im raging cos dh should have left the car there and took ds home to change and to school then gone back for the car. It was only ment to be an hour. Ds is in foundation so nursary attached to a school.

Ds had at party tonight for a school friend but dh has called school to say ds is sick and not going in So ds cant go to the party now as well.

Its going to cost more money and no it didnt cross my mind they could be hurt

Dh is not responable type

I needed to look up the number of garage on yell.com so mn at same time

OP posts:

Bridgetbidet · 15/04/2013 13:55

So, your husband has taken your ds to wait while the car is mended. This has taken a lot longer than expected. Presumably your husband expected to be in and out and when the car wasn't done on time hung on expecting it to be done soon leaving him with enough time to drive home and get DS ready for school. When the car wasn't ready again it left him without enough time to walk home and get DS changed and to school on time without a car.

A fairly understandable situation and one many people may have found themselves in. He's not done it with any intention of spite, to annoy you or out of nastiness. He's not buggered off to McDonalds or softplay because he doesn't care about nursery. He's been unavoidably delayed. He was a bit silly to say DS was sick but it's hardly the crime of the century.

I think you're being a right bitch TBH. If you were a woman posting about a bloke who'd gone mental because they were delayed at the garage everyone would be calling emotional abuse and telling you to leave the bastard.

You're overreacting, controlling and calling him irresponsible is bang out of order. It's not like he's taken him down the pub. You've got this totally out of proportion and if he comes home and you lose the plot he'd be quite within his rights to tell you to get fucked.

DeWe · 15/04/2013 13:59

About the party, I'd phone the friend (assuming party isn't at school) and say "ds wasn't at school because dh got stuck at the garage while they fixed the car. Unfortunately the idiot panicked and told the school that ds was sick rather than the truth. So ds will be at the party, and no he's not sick."
I'm sure friend will laugh and say that's fine.

KansasCityOctopus · 15/04/2013 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoniLovesChachi · 15/04/2013 14:02

LilyAmaryllis I wondered how you know it was the DH's fault that they hadn't made it back for nursery, not how you knew the child was meant to be at nursery.

It really doesn't matter at all that a child misses a nursery session. It isn't school, they don't have to be there. No harm done.

DS can still go to the party, you can be honest with the parent and say he wasn't ill but held up somewhere. They won't care. There was no need to lie about him being ill, but now it's done it doesn't mean you have to act as if he truly is ill.

Original poster

WhereIsMySon · 15/04/2013 14:19

They are back now and playing on xbox.

Dh said he was waiting for them to wash the car and they had to do it twice to get it clean.

I think we should treat foundation the same as school - ds only stays off if he is ill otherwise we will confuse him and he will think its ok to not go to school.

I have not said anything to dh yet as kids are here and hoping to get some perspective on it before we talk.

OP posts:

wannabedomesticgoddess · 15/04/2013 14:22

Mountain. Molehill.

Seriously. You need to chill the fuck out.

Gales · 15/04/2013 14:22

The whole things seems odd to me.

Massive over-reaction on the part of op, but I have never known any car repair to be booked in, done and booked out in a couple of hours. Isn't it usual to leave the car ?

Original poster

WhereIsMySon · 15/04/2013 14:24

Garage offered dh a rental car for the day but he said he would wait for it. The garage give in the first slot at 9am and said it would take about an hour.

OP posts:

MrsMacFarlane · 15/04/2013 14:30

I don't understand why you're so upset about this. He missed a couple of hours of nursery, it won't affect his education. I'm a Senior Practitioner in a school nursery and kids miss days willy nilly all the time for family reasons. And why should your son miss a party cos his Dad's been a bit of an arse and said the wrong thing over the phone in a pointless panic? Seriously, relax, in the grand scheme of things none of this is important.

Tee2072 · 15/04/2013 14:31

BIG STORM...teeny tiny tea cup.

Seriously, it's foundation or whatever the hell it's called. One day won't kill him. And won't teach him that's okay to miss school willy nilly.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 15/04/2013 14:34

DD1 didnt go to preschool today as DP had to use the car to go to an aptitude test and wouldnt have been back in time to get her. Its not a big deal.

ThreeWheelsGood · 15/04/2013 14:36

Read all the responses here OP and get some perspective! Your DH is equally a parent to your DS and made a decision today about what your DS was doing. If you aren't happy, have a rational calm discussion about it, don't just jump to "he's irresponsible". If I were you I'd have enjoyed a morning to myself!

Kiriwawa · 15/04/2013 14:39

I don't understand why your DS can't go to the party. That's just bonkers and really unfair on him

BarredfromhavingStella · 15/04/2013 14:39

Ffs, overreaction much????

sarahtigh · 15/04/2013 15:28

i bet the garage told him it will be just another 30 minutes so he decided to wait then it was another 15 then then stopped to do something else lost a tool or something so at each point Dh would have thought well no point going home as they will ring and say its ready before I go home DH was entertaining DS

YABU massive over-reaction, he tol you he was delayed that phone was running out of charge then you launch off the deepend as if DH is worst person on planet only complaint really is ringing in that DS sick but that's no biggie and of course he can go to party

missing one session when he is 4 will not make him a teenage truantor duvet day addict

DreamsTurnToGoldDust · 15/04/2013 15:40

Talk? talk about what, you are making a massive mountain out of the tiniest molehill ever, blimey.

KansasCityOctopus · 15/04/2013 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bridgetbidet · 15/04/2013 17:23

Jesus, poor bloke. If this was the other way round and it was a woman posting about her husband going apeshit because she'd been delayed at the garage with no very serious consequences everyone would be shouting 'emotional abuse' and 'controlling bully'.

I really don't think it's on to treat him this way. I really think the issue here is nothing to do with the garage but more to do with the amount of respect you treat your husband with. He must be walking on eggshells. How would you react if he really did balls up? I dread to think.

Salmotrutta · 15/04/2013 19:29

Blimey. YABU.

I dread to think how you'd react to an avoidable delay!

It's only nursery your DS missed!

It was an unfortunate series of events and there would have come a point where your DH had to decide to stay or go.

He clearly decided better to stay rather than leave, only to have to return a short while later.

It's just one of those slightly annoying timeline things.

Put it behind you and move on.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread