Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think he is being an absolute twat

22 replies

hopipolla · 14/04/2013 21:29

My brother is in his 3rd year at university and is looking for jobs after his graduation. He has only ever had one job working in a shop but he has worked for this company through his a levels and in university holidays. The thing is the company was owned by his now ex-girlfriends dad. The owner is refusing to give him a reference as he is not "legally obliged" and it is making getting a job really difficult as he cannot provide an employment reference at interviews. AIBU to think that he is being a vindictive twat.

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 14/04/2013 21:32

Yup. Does he not have payslips or a p45 or any other documentation to prove that he worked there?

He won't even confirm dates of employment?

cozietoesie · 14/04/2013 21:32

It rather depends on the circumstances of the break-up and the preceding relationship. I can think of plenty of people whose real colours, as shown in a relationship that I saw, would make me reluctant to give them any sort of reference.

Bearandcub · 14/04/2013 21:33

You are legally obliged to provide a basic reference ie confirmation that an employee worked for you in whatever capacity and dates.

hopipolla · 14/04/2013 21:34

He won't even confirm dates of employment or position

OP posts:
yaimee · 14/04/2013 21:34

Yes he is, but not sure what can be done.
Did your db get the job because he was seeing the bosses daughter? If so, that's one of the problems that come with an arrangement like that.
I'm sorry for your db. Maybe encourage him to do some voluntary work to try and gain some more experience.

cozietoesie · 14/04/2013 21:34

Ah interesting, Bearandcub. But not anything to do with 'employability' i assume?

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 14/04/2013 21:35

Does he have any colleagues who can give him a reference? The owner doesn't 'own' the single right to give a reference IYSWIM

Fraggle3112 · 14/04/2013 21:35

He is legally obliged to provide dates of employment as a minimum. Most employers will accept this as its standard response, most companies won't give the traditional character reference and will only state what they know to be fact. But no yanbu to think he is just being vindictive!

yaimee · 14/04/2013 21:36

Hmm, think maybe you could challenge him about that. I think he might have a legal obligation to provide the basic details of the employment, assuming your db was on the books!

hopipolla · 14/04/2013 21:36

Yaimee- No he got the job and then got with his ex, its how they met IYSWIM

OP posts:
yaimee · 14/04/2013 21:37

pooh, ophelias has a good point, maybe a collegue could give a reference.

HollyBerryBush · 14/04/2013 21:38

So, use two personal references, or his old school year head.

Bearandcub · 14/04/2013 21:38

Correct, as it's subjective anyway and open to corruption. I'm sure there is something about bad reference and withholding data re disciplinary measures.

yaimee · 14/04/2013 21:38

Heehee sorry ophelias I meant ooh, you don't smell! Blush

hopipolla · 14/04/2013 21:40

He can get two references from his university tutors but potential employers want an employment one as well, he gave the two tutors and then phoned him to ask him to provide details of an employment reference.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 14/04/2013 21:42

I also think there is some misinformation on this thread.

An old employer is under no obligation to give any reference at all, confirm dates or otherwise. The obligation is to ensure the reference is " true, accurate and fair and that it is not misleading".

That also should slay the myth that bad references cannot be given. they can if they are truthful and not vindictive.

yaimee · 14/04/2013 21:50

God holly that's shocking and unfair if it's correct!

iklboo · 14/04/2013 21:59

'An employer doesn’t usually have to give a work reference - but if they do, it must be fair and accurate. Workers may be able to challenge a reference they think is unfair or misleading'

That's from a government website. But it still stinks that the man won't even confirm your DB worked or even the most basic reference.

HollyBerryBush · 14/04/2013 21:59

I decline references all the time.

I also send out truthful ones, provided the appropriate data release form has been signed by the applicant.

Some of them aren't pretty reading. But if you are going to ask a school who excluded you, what do you expect? The new employer gets a print out of punctuality and behaviour logs of the 12 months before the pupil left. All of which is covered by minuted parental meetings and letters.

Never ask someone for a reference unless you know it will be good.

yaimee · 14/04/2013 22:27

I think that's all fair enough, I just find it unbelievable that an employer can refuse to provide dates of employment. This seems massively unfair!

HomeEcoGnomist · 14/04/2013 22:31

But dates of employment cab be confirmed on other ways - payslips/p60/p45

So it shouldn't prevent DB proving he worked where he said he did

cozietoesie · 14/04/2013 22:32

If I received a reference which was just dates of employment with no comments, I would read into that exactly what the employer intended.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread