Am I being bridezilla

[Crawling]

At sils wedding I had given birth 7 days earlier and was re addmitted on sils (dps brothers wife)wedding day dp went. Sil is not coming to our wedding now because its on a work day she hasnt used all her holidays and I just feel so sad as dp cut contact with alot of his family because of childhood abuse and they were all he really had . I just feel so upset for him im crying. I wont say anything about my feelings to anyone including dp.

It doesn't sound like you like her very much, and the fact that she is family through marriage doesn't change that. Is your DP upset that she isn't coming, or is she just pleased that his brother will be?

Sorry to digress slightly (and I'm not being pedantic) but there really are a lot of people who have to work weekends as it's their busiest time - retail, bars ,restaurants, wedding staff to name but a few. So having a weekend wedding shouldn't be such a big deal anymore surely? it's always going to be someones work day, just go to the night-do if you can't manage it. (bitter weekendworker here )
If that's your sils real reason maybe ask her to do that as you appreciate it's hard for anyone to miss work but that you'd really love to see her there if she can in the evening? If it's not her reason for not coming, then she'll still not come but at least you asked.
Plus I'd be careful what you wish for-if she's going to moan he whole time maybe just thank your lucky stars she's not coming it'll be draining.
Yanbu to be sad but maybe it's for the best.

weekday wedding WEEKDAY WEDDING

I think YABU.

It might be inconvenient for her to take that day off work. She may have deadlines, or some important project.

I think it's more likely she just doesn't like her in-laws or your family events. I wouldn't want to go to my SIL's wedding either, if she was getting married, although would probably have to go.

I wouldn't take a day off to attend a wedding. I'm a teacher and whilst we can take a day off for genuine reasons, I wouldn't do it for anything other than unavoidable medical reasons.

While your wedding may be the most special day of your life, for others it's just another wedding that must beprioritised among other things in your life.

its what happens with weekday weddings.

You've said that she has also declined to go to a Saturday wedding of the same family.

So it's not about the day of the week.

She clearly does not want to go to weddings with that family.

Thanks all I do actually like her I may have mentioned flaws but I can pick flaws in everyone I know and im certain I have a fair few myself. But the evening do is a great idea and would make me very happy if she did that.