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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ignore HV and top up with formula?

95 replies

Thepursuitofhappiness · 13/04/2013 09:46

I have a hungry (almost) EBF 6 week old baby. I want to continue breastfeeding, however I don't think he's getting enough milk.

I've not got the biggest breasts (32A before, now 34C and loving the increase!) and he can only go 2 hours max between feeds. Particularly in the evening r is insatiable, ill cluster feed from 4ish but he gets so frustrated that he can't get enough milk out after an hour of feeding that he's screaming.

He is on about the 5th centile at mo (dropped from 9th). Health visitor says this fine as putting on 4oz a week. Says I shouldn't top up with formula as this wont increase my supply. She is evangelical about breastfeeding.

I have tried everything to increase my supply. I've spoken to national breastfeeding support and attended a group. Eating loads (including midnight porridge) and drinking lots. Letting him empty each breast before putting him onto the other, then switch feeding. Lots of compression when he stops swallowing.

But I don't think it's enough. I hate not being able to fully satisfy him. He sleeps badly when not full up. I sleep badly as feeds take so long so only getting 4iah hours a night. I'm exhausted with the constant feeding and little sleep.

I tried topping up with formula (after an hour on the breasts) yesterday and it was amazing. He had a 5 hour sleep last night (-so did I!) he was happy and alert and satisfied afterwards.

So AIBU to ignore HV, have I embarked on a slope to the end of breastfeeding? Or how long should I persevere on EBF and the little sleep before I start top up??

OP posts:
MajaBiene · 13/04/2013 11:47

2 hourly feeds and cluster feeding in the evening sounds normal.

4oz a week weight gain sounds fine too - as is being on the 5th centile. For every baby on the 95th, one has to be on the 5th!

However, would second getting him checked for tongue tie, that could make a big difference.

If you want to mix feed though, so ahead. I would designate one feed a day as a formula feed though, rather than top up after breastfeeds. If you make one of the night feeds a bottle then it is easier to drop when you want to get them sleeping through that a breastfeed - I did an 11pm bottle-feed, and then that was an easy last night feed to drop at about 9 months.

SoupDragon · 13/04/2013 11:54

ukatlast Why should the OP supplement with formula immediately?

BlackeyedSusan · 13/04/2013 11:57

the midwife said that ds would give up breastfeeding if I mixed fed. well he did give up. 2 and a half years later! the dr had advised that we put dd on a bottle as she was feeding so much and she was so worried for my health. she mixed fed for 13 months til weaned as i was pregnant again.

bottle of formula was a lifesaver for me, for both children. I found that I could adjust my supply as they grew and were more regular feeders by feeding more, as long was I was doing a few feeds a day.

LunaticFringe · 13/04/2013 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anklebitersmum · 13/04/2013 12:10

You have to make a decision for you and your baby. Do what you feel is best.

I happily mixed bf and formula with my last two (no 3&4). That's not to say you shouldn't 'keep at it' if you're determined to ebf.

I am assuming that this is your first baby. If I have any advice at all it's remember that HV are supposed to be there for support and advice-not to be 'evangelical' about anything.

MummytoKatie · 13/04/2013 13:27

Yoni Please don't tell my husband that! I'm 33 weeks with my 2nd and looking forward to getting back into Corrie!

Either way, she'll find it a lot easier to cope with the demands of breastfeeding if she isn't also running around trying to keep up with the hoovering.

My own (completely anecdotal) experience was that once I stopped trying to "prove" myself as the perfect wife and mother and started taking care of myself the milk s uddenly seemed to just come.

Isandri · 13/04/2013 13:36

Your baby sounds normal and is probably going through a growth spurt. It will get easier every week BUT if you want to mix feed do it. I'm breastfeeding but stongly feel that you should do what ever works for you and keeps you happy if that means mix feeding because you find you aren't coping from lack of sleep then do it. Once my baby reached 10 weeks I saw a massive improvement in how he fed. He was feeding quickly 10-15 minutes and cluster feeding reduced. If you decide to mix feed because you need the sleep I'm sure it's the right decission for you and don't feel guiltly.

b4bunnies · 13/04/2013 13:39

daughter did that with her baby (now seventeen months and still breastfed Grin) and it didn't do any harm at all. come to think of it, i gave daughter soya milk top-ups until she was eight weeks old, and she was breastfed until she was four. years, not months. so if you want to give a bit of formula, do.
two hourly feeds are normal, by the way. but don't worry if you want to give a bit of formula. just carry on breastfeeding and all will be well.

catgirl1976 · 13/04/2013 13:54

I mix fed DS sucessfully

Do what works for you and what you are happy with

treas · 13/04/2013 14:35

Obviously, you want to do what is best for your baby, which in the natural scheme of things is to breastfeed.

However, you have your own health to consider as well, something I learned from my own experience of breastfeeding.

My ds was feeding 40 minutes of every hour, latching on properly but not gaining enough weight. I even had the lactation nurse specialist visit my home, only for the doctor to inform us that we needed to get him onto formula or else he would be hospitalised.

The whole stress of ds not thriving properly resulted in me getting shingles and having to give up breastfeeding all together at 12 weeks.

Looking back I would have started topping up with formula earlier as it would have meant that I would have been able to continue to breastfeed for longer.

In the end you have to choose what is best for both you and the baby, and whatever happens do not chew yourself up about not being able to solely breastfeed - you are not a failure. This was something the lactation nurse specialist made me feel about having to give ds formulaAngry Angry Angry

Pigsmummy · 13/04/2013 14:54

Seriously try the afternoon nap, Helped my supply and was suggested to me by more than one midwife and HV. Alsogave me the energy for the night time cluster feeding.

Shagmundfreud · 13/04/2013 15:19

I think you've had some really good advice here, and from your HV.

Seems to me you're looking for 'permission' to use formula. You don't need permission: it is your right to make that choice without having to justify it.

babanouche · 13/04/2013 15:25

Haven't read the whole thread but by introducing formula so soon you more than likely will reduce your own milk supply and come to the end of breastfeeding sooner than later.

It sounds as though you're doing a great job - your baby is gaining and growing.

Personally, at 6 weeks into breastfeeding, I still felt very much like a novice and wasn't confident we were 'doing it right', but we stuck with it and went on to feed for nearly 3 years! It wasn't as successful a process with my first dc so I totally understand that sometimes it feels like a good decision to switch to ff. Only you can decide that.

PortHills · 13/04/2013 16:42

I had v big baby. Was in NZ. They advised me to top up after each feed. I offered both breasts each feed and DS would drain each. Then I offered formula. Morning and afternoon feeds he wasn't bothered, but early evening he would have both breasts and then full 7oz of formula. I continued to breast feed until 9 months, but we always kept the formula at night. Worked really well for us as everyone (I.e. husband, DM, MIL etc) loved doing the bottle at night, and I loved having a break.

I know the advice is that this can affect your milk supply, but I had no problems with DS or Dd

hTH

JackieTheFart · 13/04/2013 16:46

Do whatever works for you. Your baby (I promise!) will not judge you for it, so don't judge yourself!

I mix fed my twins and they always had a bottle of formula at bedtime. They slept through much quicker and were generally easy to settle.

DS3 on the other hand, is nearly 18 months, still has a BF every morning and evening and only last week learned to sleep through the night Hmm

mezza123 · 13/04/2013 16:57

Hi OP
Sorry if its been mentioned, haven't read all the posts, but my 6 week old had tongue tie and we had it cut, probably a slightly better feeder now.
Symptoms were just one - feeding for hours on end. She's no 2 so I knew it wasn't necessarily normal, got seen by bf counsellor who saw tongue tie and referred us for cut. You don't have to be in agonising pain with tongue tie. Also u don't have to wait til everything's going v badly to get help, just go to a local bf group or get a private one to come to house if u can afford it.
Would agree with previous posts re not topping up.but doing one feed bottle only, apparently with formula babies feel fuller so if u do top up after every feed they get used to that full feeling then want it more and more.
Also my.six week old can go for 6/7 hours between feeds at night so I disagree that all babies.of this age have to feed every 2-3 hours - that's rubbish.

ArtemisiaGentileschisThumb · 13/04/2013 17:33

Op if you want to top up with formula yanbu. My dd has had a bottle of formula most nights since about 5ish weeks and its working out fine for everyone. Dropping one feed a day should be ok for your milk and you can express if you want to which will help keep your supply up (though not quite as much as bf'ing will). If you can get the balance right I would recommend combi feeding, if I hadn't replaced one feed with formula I think I would have stopped bf'ing a while ago.

Twattybollocks · 13/04/2013 18:16

As everyone has said, that feeding pattern sounds fine for his age, and cluster feeding in the evenings whilst soul destroying is also normal. I suspect you have a perfectly adequate milk supply, but if you want to mix feed that's perfectly ok and a valid choice, and if a couple of bottles a day is what gets you through the rough patch then that's great. If you want to continue bf as much as possible for as long as possible then pick one feed a day to replace the boob with bottle, try to express rather than just leaving your boobs to rest as they actually make more milk faster when empty than when full. If you want to use the expresses milk for the bottle the following day then great, if not, stick it in the freezer in a milk storage bag and you have a stash ready for if you need to leave the baby with someone at any point.
If your hv makes comments just smile sweetly and say firmly "I've made my decision based on my needs and those of my family, so please could we move on now"

Original poster
Thepursuitofhappiness · 13/04/2013 19:01

Thanks so mug for the advice, it is really appreciated. Sorry for slow response too, I've been on a first aid course today so not had mumsnet time.

He's been checked for tongue tie and no problem there. I think, from the responses, I've got to stop feeling guilty whatever decision I take.

I think I will continue with the nightly formula but not offer any more during the day. If I didn't, I just don't think he will get enough sleep as wont be able to settle him. He's been on the breast almost constantly since 4pm now (bar ten min gaps here and there and a bath) and is feeding from me now. This seems normal from the above replies, although he then got stressed about the amount of Milk hes getting and getting in a baby Tiz (coming off breasts screaming and flailing scratching arms) so left DH to it with formula.

Thanks so much for advice!
.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 13/04/2013 19:07

YY to don't feel guilty!

Do what is the best thing for you and your baby in your individual circumstances.

Never mind what other people do with their babies. :)

maddening · 13/04/2013 20:39

6 weeks (and 9, 12 etc) are typical growth spurt times - the cluster feeding is increasing your supply.

Try drinking extra water (it should be over3 litres a day)

Have you also considered colic which kicks in around now? Formula may not help that as it stretches tummy more than bm (which is where the topping up can damage supply).

Maybe try pumping for each formula feed so you create stimulation and simulate demand (although dc do that better)

Whatever you choose is right for you so all is good :)

maddening · 13/04/2013 20:40

Oh and eat porridge and if you are worried about supply ferungeek (sp) can help.

ThreeWheelsGood · 13/04/2013 20:57

6 weeks and you've managed to get out to a first aid course? Well done! I was stuck on the sofa BFing til around twelve weeks. Great advice here and read advice on the feeding board too (under "feed the world")

ShowOfHands · 13/04/2013 21:11

Best of luck. Make a decision that suits all of you, don't be afraid to reconsider it if it's the wrong one or stick with it if it's the right one. It does sound normal but that doesn't mean it's right for you.

Just to add, you don't need to eat or drink extra to breastfeed. Just eat and drink to thirst and hunger.

Karoleann · 13/04/2013 21:13

I introduced a bottle of formula at night will all three of mine at 5-6 weeks, dh did a feed before he went to bed (10.30-11) and I went to bed earlier than that.
It worked fine and I bf all til about 4 months (I'd had enough by then, but supply was fine).
I'd keep on doing it.