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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DS out when he has chicken pox?

109 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 07:44

He's 10mo and not at all unwell with it, but definitely still infectious. We normally go to a baby swimming class on a Saturday, so obviously we're staying away from that. As it's a nice day, though, and there's a food festival on in the city, we'd like to go to that with him in his pram, not really coming close to anyone. The only other thing is we may go to lunch and stick him in a highchair.

AIBU to want to do this?

OP posts:
Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 14:13

We were going to sit outside, away from others. We were not going to sit indoors.

But since we didn't go, based upon responses here, it's a bit of an academic argument.

OP posts:
crashdoll · 13/04/2013 14:21

You weren't, you were going to "stick him in a highchair".

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 14:29

Yes. Highchairs can be taken to outside seating areas then wiped down well afterwards. The CP virus doesn't live long at all outside the body. But then I couldn't possibly know that, not being medically trained and obviously incompetent at my job.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 13/04/2013 14:32

There would have still been the possibility of other people in an outdoor seating area though!

quoteunquote · 13/04/2013 14:39

OP, Please don't, just don't , you know you shouldn't ,so don't do it .

Is that enough begging.

There are so many people out there with a suppressed immune system.

But you know that.

The question is really, who do you care about most, yourself or others?

One day the shoe will be on the other foot, you will be the person who cares about the suppressed immune system situation, because everyone will have someone in their lives with that situation going on, if not themselves.

crashdoll · 13/04/2013 14:47

I don't know why you're being aggressive. You asked if you were unreasonable and we said 'yes' and you accepted it, then started backtracking and making more excuses. Fine, you didn't do it but even if you had been outside, it was too risky. That's all I'm saying.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 16:22

I think I'm probably being defensive rather than aggressive since I had pages of people being, well, aggressive long after I'd put my hand up.

quoteunquote I said I was BU and staying home quite some time ago.

OP posts:
Gigondas · 13/04/2013 16:28

You did hold your hands up op . Is dc crawling yet? Was just wondering if could help with indoor entertainment suggestions. Bubbles (if you have a garden) are a quick win.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 16:35

Thanks Gigondas Smile He is crawling but itchy and cranky. Also impossible to get him to eat at home. Eats like a horse at nursery, eats fairly well if we go out then eats nothing in his own home Hmm I'm really quite a good cook, but he doesn't think so, obviously Grin

OP posts:
Gigondas · 13/04/2013 16:45

Ah that's normal about eating - my eldest is the same. I would just let him eat what he will while you are holed up. Can take him out later. Or you could try carpet or garden picnics as that works well with my eldest in fooling her its not a normal meal.

If you can bear it, letting him turn out the kitchen cupboard for pots, wooden spoons and plastic jugs/Bowls seems to kill time too. As does helping (or sitting in) laundry.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 16:50

Yes, he's very 'helpful' with the laundry and likes to play barman at the wine rack, although I think that's going to end in my tears one day. Thanks again Smile

OP posts:
twojumpingbeans · 13/04/2013 16:54

It makes me very cross that anyone would even consider this, my DD2 could get very very poorly with CP. These threads never end well. YABVVU.

Bunnyjo · 13/04/2013 16:55

Yes. Highchairs can be taken to outside seating areas then wiped down well afterwards. The CP virus doesn't live long at all outside the body. But then I couldn't possibly know that, not being medically trained and obviously incompetent at my job.

Not questioning whether or not you are competent at your job, but as a 'medically trained' HCP, you should know better. Varicella does not actually require prolonged contact - the latest information from HPA states that varicella can be transmitted via being in the same room as someone infectious for 15 minutes OR direct contact with someone - either breathing their cough droplets or contact with the blisters. Incidentally varicella can survive for 24hrs outside the body, so sitting in a public highchair would be risky, no matter how well you wiped it down afterwards.

Ultimately, as I said previously, I had a miscarriage at 12wk because of chicken pox. Honestly, I couldn't give a shit if the risk is small - the risk IS there and it just isn't worth it.

Smudging · 13/04/2013 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybeans · 13/04/2013 17:10

YABU Keep them in other than emergencies.

ckwkatie · 13/04/2013 17:15

I'm really glad you've thought twice, Elphaba. When I was 18 weeks preggo with DS, I contracted CP. My consultant suggested I terminate the pregnancy as there was a small risk of severe deformity. I had to have monthly scans to make sure he was growing properly.

It was a nerve-racking time, but luckily DS was born healthy. I've read other horror stories on here, and really wish there was more awareness of the dangers of this virus.

thelongandwindingroad · 13/04/2013 18:51

Weird thread.

Not sure why you staying away from swimming is 'obvious' to you yet the other stuff isn't.

Also shocked such a well informed HCP would have to turn to mn for advice rather than a colleague.

dayshiftdoris · 13/04/2013 19:05

Elphaba

Sorry but I have to say this... you seem to have got the hump about questioning your reasoning on the basis that you are a HCP and as such understand the, what you consider to be, the minimal risks of transmission with some basic hygiene.

However you also say you hadn't considered the risks to pregnant / immuno-suppressed people and as such you clearly do not understands the risks at all.

And I will also add this... an adult with shingles is a MUCH lower risk than a child with chicken pox because their hygiene is generally much better and crucially shingles can be covered. Children with shingles can even go to school if the shingles is covered.

So to me you are being unreasonable because you are basing your reasoning to take your baby with CP in a public area upon a situation which was risk assessed and managed.. After all your patient needed care regardless of his singles and as such steps would have been taken to ensure transmission, in relation to the environment he was in, was as low as possible.

In other words you are using the example of a managed risk to justify the thought process behind what would have been a reckless decision which could have had serious consequences.

And though you stayed home you seem to have the air of someone who can not believe they had their judgement questioned by a load of hysterical people who clearly don't know how to prevent the transmission of CP...

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 19:10

Because:

  1. At swimming he'd be within coughing distance of other babies for over half an hour, and we'd have got turned away anyway. Going out, I thought he'd be far enough away from anybody for it to be a problem, and not around anybody other than us for more than a few seconds, making risk of transmission pretty non-existent. Obviously others don't feel this is the case.
  1. It was a spur of the moment decision from DH this morning. It's a Saturday - no colleagues around to ask, so I dropped a line to the MN oracle. I used AIBU because I knew I'd get a quick response, but did have a hard hat to hand, given the nature of the forum (although didn't realise quite how hard the hat would need to be).

Bunfight not intended Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 19:21

dayshiftdoris No, I got the hump because I kept getting pasted long after I'd said I was BU and we weren't going out.

Yes, I did use some logic from my clinical experience to feel it might be OK - and you're absolutely right in your assessment of the flaw in that logic - but I checked, didn't I? We didn't go out, did we?

OP posts:
TheHumancatapult · 13/04/2013 19:21

you son sneeze germs on the table my dd sits there after cue hospital and maybe PICu for my child or her funeral

i guard against risk much as we can without curtailing her being a child but glad staying in because you could of unwilling killed my dd

dayshiftdoris · 13/04/2013 19:29

Yes but you were being pasted because you played the HCP card and there was a flaw in your reasoning...

Staying home or not was irrelevant as I think people felt that you needed to really understand the risks

3littlefrogs · 13/04/2013 19:48

The most dangerous HCPs are the ones who don't know what they don't know.

I am otherwise lost for words. Sad

elizaregina · 13/04/2013 19:52

I think people are astonished because its a non question when you have an air borne infection you do not go out.

Its shocking that it turns out you work in health care and still need to be asking this.

People have been very mild coming on when they have suffered personal losses due to ignorance around going out with CP.

Original poster
ElphabaTheGreen · 13/04/2013 20:55

Oh, lawks. Now I'm dangerous?

I guess you can never expect a moderate response in AIBU...

OP posts:
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