to object to being called "flabby" by my GP

[abigboydidit]

DD is 10 weeks old and DS is 23 months. Effectively I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding forever almost 3 years and it has taken its toll on my body & self-esteem.

Pre-children I was a size 8 & reasonably fit. Although I am a size 8 again my body in no way resembles its pre-children state, which at 10 weeks post-delivery I was willing to accept. The reason I was at my GP was because I was worried DD's forceps assisted VBAC delivery had broken my vagina which it had and while I was there I did get a little upset about my body in general; feeling like a milk machine & the fact I had been attending physio as it seems I had a marked separation of my stomach muscles which my attempts at sit ups had actually worsened . The additional news that I had a pelvic organ prolapse was a blow, at which point I didn't think I could feel any more rubbish about myself..and then she prodded my tummy and announced "yes, you really are flabby aren't you? I mean you've lost the baby weight but that's all just flab. You've got a lot of hard work ahead of you".

Bloody hell BeQuicksieorBeDead! That's awful!

To me flabby is just a descriptive term implying poor muscle tone and excess fat.. If that's what you have that's what you have. I agree she needn't have said it but flabbiness is easily sorted and perhaps she thought recognising that you are flabby and you can deal with it was better than bland "you look lovely" reassurance. I was flabby after my kids.

Any comment on the physical ppearance of a woman who has just had a baby, especially by a GP, is uncalled for!

You are a size 8 and she said you really are flabby? I don't understand.

During my third pregnancy I was being examined by a newish obstetrician. I was classed as high risk due to previous life threatening mc and needed extra appointments. (There was also a student doc, student mw and MW present) She couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler and was getting really flustered. She looked at me and roughly grabbed my tummy and said angrily while shaking it "Of course this doesn't help!" A deathly silence fell upon the room and my dh stood up and said "What?!" The MW grabbed the doppler and found the heartbeat within 5 seconds. She then apologised to me and asked the OB to step outside. She unleashed holy hell on her and asked if she planned to treat all future and vulnerable women the same? She never came back to apologise but I did ask for her not to treat me during future appointments. I thought that she may have been having a tough time so I didn't want to make things worse by complaining but I had red marks where she dug her nails in. :( Plus I wasn't even that fat as I'd lost a lot of weight as I struggled to eat anything. I felt so depressed that I cried for two days straight.

Oh, LaalRatty that's a terrible story. I really hope she chose an alternative career path after that.

Can I just say, I'm a gynae reg & you shouldn't diagnose someone with pelvic organ prolapse until 4-6months postnatal as the tissues will change a lot in that time & if you do daily pelvic floor exercises between now & then it's likely it'll be fine. Some badGPs refer lots of women in this situation to gynae clinic & by the time we see them it's very unlikely they'll need anything doing.

DH said he wanted to fling her out the fucking window. Made me giggle when I calmed down. :o

I had a bad prolapse after dd was born. I could feel it when I sat down. :( However within 2 days it went back to normal without any effort from me. I was terrified my insides were falling out but I was amazed that my body "fixed" itself so quickly.

Of course people can be flabby and skinny at the same time, it's pretty common.

But we're talking about the OP here who is ten weeks post baby and going to a GP not a personal trainer. I came in to this thread expecting someone deluding themselves, but you're totally within your rights to feel pissed off.

Glad you're feeling a bit better

Popebenedict - happy to cheerlead anytime but be warned I will not wear a uniform! I don't care how much you beg.

YANBU.

What a fuckwit dr you had.

If it cheers you up i went to the hospital on monday and was told i was FAT !!! Ive been on steriods for 18 months and gained about 25kgs!!! So yes i have noticed.......on the plus side she then told me i had thin bones lol due to the steriods ...i wish it was reversed thin body fat bones. Xx keep smiling sod em !!