To be upset with MIL

[ProbMIL]

I have a son who will be 1 in a couple of weeks. PIL were seeing him once a week, and we'd asked them to look after him overnight for 1 night a couple of months ago, as DH and I were planning to go somewhere. They were thrilled with the idea and really wanted to look after him, which we thought was natural, them being his grandparents and everything... However, a week or two beforehand PIL were looking after SIL's kids and MIL rang me on a day she knew I wasn't at home to demand that she brought the other kids round to see their cousin that afternoon. I wasn't in so I didn't respond to the call and as a result MIL sent DH an email saying they could no longer look after DS when we were away. She is a very stroppy woman and likes to get her own way. We had plenty of other people happy to babysit DS so we just said 'ok, fine, thanks for letting us know' and organised alternative arrangements.

MIL clearly expected us to ring her, apologise for not rearranging our schedule around her with no notice and beg her to look after our child as we couldn't cope without her. Which clearly we didn't do, because we thought she was being childish and petty. Since then MIL has sulked, has not contacted us in any way and has not shown any interest in our DS. It's DS's birthday the week after next and I suspect the PIL are going to ignore it because MIL's sulk is more important than their grandson's first birthday.

AIBU to be furious, and rather disgusted, that a grown woman is behaving so childishly that she will prioritise a sulk over her grandchild?

It's definitely not being around that caused it - the message she left on the answerphone was 'I'm bringing the kids round this afternoon - they want to see their cousin, we're busy for the rest of the week so it has to be today. Let me know what time to bring them' when she had already been told more than once that I was busy on the Wednesday and Friday that week, (this was a Wednesday morning). The message was left at about 9.30. At 11 she emailed DH saying 'I've been asked to do something on the date you've asked us to look after DS and since you don't want us seeing him I assume you no longer want us to look after him so I've said yes'. The woman is barking mad, but although DH and I can handle her being a cow when it comes to us, I resent it on behalf of DS. She's no real loss to his life if she acts like this, but it saddens me that he won't have a grandma as we don't have a lot of family so there are no real substitutes. I just don't understand how she can use her grandson as a pawn in power games and then ignore his first birthday. It's a horrible way to behave.

Then you and DS are better off without people like that in your lives. Xxx

My Ex MIL did this to me when my DD was very little.
The stubborn cow missed a very vital 6 months of her first GD life.
She completely regrets it now and has apologised on numerous occasions.
She has no idea why she was so horrible and we had a good relationship after her realisation.
Maybe it will be the same for you???