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AIBU?

To think there should be a maximum visit length for your MIL

66 replies

Frescolita · 10/04/2013 12:32

Sooo...mine is here for 3 weeks, and I find 2 weeks completely sufficient to last the other 50 in the year. Am I out of line to think that there should be either a social etiquette max limit on visit length, or even better, a law?!

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MyShoofly · 10/04/2013 19:47

Anything over 3 weeks and its not a visit anymore IMO - after that they should be pitching in for groceries and helping out full on. Mine stayed last summer for two months and it was definately a month and a half too long to be good for our relationship.

Frescolita · 14/04/2013 18:20

Sooo..ILs left today. Was about to be really sad and miss them loads, but then at the airport my MIL just couldn't resist making one final interfering comment. How many MILs hug their son's wives goodbye amd whisper in their ear "you need to change (personality, not clothes)"? The tears in my eyes suddenly dried up with that one. So she doesnt like me, and I don't like her, but don't spoil what was nearly a nice moment! Can breathe again now til xmas. Whoopee!

OP posts:

GlaikitFizzog · 14/04/2013 18:31

Fuck her then, no way would she be getting back in my home after making that comment. And there would be no way I would be visiting her.

If you are even considering that you are a better person than me.

LilyAmaryllis · 14/04/2013 18:42

Wow the incredible rudeness! What happened to "thank you for having me to stay!?"

RemindMeWhatSleepIs · 14/04/2013 19:20

How rude!! I presume you told your DH. What did he say?

NotSoNervous · 14/04/2013 19:21

I vote half an hour. Even though I don't see her at all anymore seems as I'm the evil DIL. We use to get on great

MyShoofly · 15/04/2013 03:07

wow, I can't believe you managed to not tell her to fuck off. That is absurd - I hope you DH gives her a piece of his mind. So I now vote that your in-laws stay at a hotel in the future.

ivanapoo · 15/04/2013 08:17

WTF did she mean by that? Maybe she forgot to add "the bedding in our room, my pelvic floor's buggered"?

Maybe your "change" should be refusing to host them!

My MIL is nice in many ways but is a horrendous snob (she met a lovely couple on a cruise but they turned out to be a cleaner and a gardener so she couldn't possibly have stayed friends with them back home), and guilt trips her children something rotten, complaining she never sees them to the point of tears (she expects a visit every weekend), sulking when it's time to go home, making passive agrressive "ivana doesn't like visiting us clearly" comments within earshot yet saying she can't visit us as it clashes with her tennis lessons.

hackmum · 15/04/2013 08:19

To quote an old saying - house guests are like fish, both stink after five days.

vixsatis · 15/04/2013 09:09

Mine dislikes me so much that she doesn't visit. I can live with that.

My mother's visits need limiting to three days. Beyond that they become a threat both to my sanity and my marriage

Datun · 15/04/2013 09:33

Having had a pretty horrendous relationship with my MIL for 25 years (most people do, in my defence), I have found in the words of my own mother 'it's better to get over rough ground lightly'. We didn't talk for a year because of her rudeness/selfishness, but I realised I was depriving my DS of his grandmother. Bizarrely, she's a good grandmother. MILs are for life, unfortunately. Rise above it, be superficially nice, but don't put yourself through a three-weeker ever again.

NeatFreak · 15/04/2013 09:56

My mil has just left after a week, which she does every school holiday as she is a teacher. However, this week coincided with me being 7 months pg, having 2 older dc at home and a massive building project going on, rendering half our house unusable. It honestly caused me so much stress and anxiety that when my mum asked if she could visit next month I agreed and booked her into a hotel (at our expense).

I feel a week is too much, although I love my mil and she is genuinely a lovely person. It is my home and I relish the chance to relax, wander around in my nightie, nap during the day and not iron everything that goes through the washing machine. A long weekend is enough IMO. That applies to all visitors, not just in laws!

sheeplikessleep · 15/04/2013 10:03

TBH, having anyone stay more than a couple of days makes my teeth itch. I guess I just like my own space.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 15/04/2013 10:13

I don't like anyone staying in my house beyond a couple of nights. As for sharing the kitchen?? It's tiny, you can manage one person cooking at one end, and one making drinks at the other, but that's about it.

My MIL is lovely though. We go on holiday with her every few years, and have a nice time, so I could happily spend 2 weeks plus with her, as long as it's not in my house!

freddiefrog · 15/04/2013 10:51

A weekend is more than enough for me, whoever they are

Fortunately MiL's only been to visit once in 10 years, and then she stayed in a cottage nearby.

We had foreign exchange students for 8 weeks one summer, I hated it

TomArchersSausage · 15/04/2013 10:53

I always set the egg timer

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