AIBU to be pissed off
janey223 · 10/04/2013 11:53
Today I messages two friends from a baby group I recently stopped going to asking if they wanted to take kids to park this afternoon.
Firstly one didn't want to go to the park I mentioned but I said it had just been rebuild and was lovely but if they wanted to go somewhere else that's fine. 10 minutes later same woman messages back saying other one will go but doesn't want to go at 2. She knows that DS doesn't get up till 1.30 from nap so we don't go anywhere till 2, I say this and they decide they're going to said park and if they're still there at 2 I'm welcome to join them.
AIBU to be seriously pissed off? I invited them to the park and they decide they will go just them but I can come if I want? I don't want to bloody go now, will need to think if something else instead.
RollerCola · 10/04/2013 12:02
The thing is, with kids your day never runs to a schedule so everyone has different timescales. You asked them if they wanted to go to the park, they said they did but 2 was a bit late (for whatever reason)
If it was me & my friends we'd do a bit of 'ok well you go up there when you're ready and I'll meet you whenever dd wakes up'
It's all a bit haphazard but we meet up, have a chat, no-one falls out...
janey223 · 10/04/2013 12:06
They didn't even want to go before I asked if they wanted to go and made plans together to go before DS gets up. One is a girl I used to do lots with until the other joined the group, we initially done things together then if one wasnt coming the other wouldn't then they started making plans and never including me. Haven't seen either for about 6 weeks and the whole idea was for us to catch up. Neither work or really do much it's not because they can't go later in the afternoon like I initially said.
janey223 · 10/04/2013 12:09
Maybe I am being silly but neither mentioned anything about schedule, ones DS naps about 1 but will just fall asleep in pushchair, the other about 5 and same. DS will not sleep in pushchair until exhausted so would miss out completely or be ridiculously grumpy and they know that.
janey223 · 10/04/2013 12:39
I do if I need to but normally end up with a monster, or eventually falling asleep way past nap time (yesterday he fell asleep at 3 face down on his snack tray and then wouldn't go to bed until 10). If we're out all day it's fine but not if we go out around when he normally goes to sleep iykwim.
I was pissed because they know that's when he sleeps and don't have other plans for the rest of the day + we were supposed to be catching up with each other.
I get it, I'm being unreasonable. All my old friends have moved out/don't have time etc, and these two have pretty much excluded me lately. We live 5 minutes from each other but they never include me anymore.
CoffeeShoppe · 10/04/2013 12:52
YABU for having a routine with your baby. We went with the flow, in and out at all hours to meet people, as did most of my mates. It was most irritating to have to wait around until a 'routine' baby had had it's nap. You have to fit with them if there are 2 who are ready to go earli8er.
pumpkinsweetie · 10/04/2013 13:01
I agree with bowler, let the routine go for today and have a nice day out. Routines are good, but you don't need to be so stringent with it. Go see your mates, put baby in buggy and have a nice day.
The more you go out, baby will get used to being in his pushchair and napping in it when need be.
janey223 · 10/04/2013 14:24
Thanks. I do let it go some days but we're just back from being away for 2 weeks then I had a course yesterday so need to get back to normality for a week or so before I go mad with him running around me till 10 when I haven't even got the chance to unpack yet. I'm not a must go with routine everyday but don't chuck it for the park - days out zoo etc yes. This weekend when it gets toasty it'll be out the window but I need some sanity and some housework done to enjoy it.
fairylightsinthespring · 10/04/2013 14:36
It all sounds a bit schoolyard to me I'm afraid - who is friends with who the most and them "going off" together etc. You say they "know" your baby sleeps til 2pm but are you sure? I have many friends with babies and have a vague idea of when they might sleep based on their ages but not whether or not its movable. I don't think you are being U to have a routine as such, but you can't expect everyone else to fall in with it so either you have to just do what you want and deal with the possibly grumpiness of your DS or not go, and maybe try to plan slightly more in advance.
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