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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am really upset we were about to move and the other person has pulled

16 replies

takeabreakmum · 08/04/2013 22:14

out, had a really bad time this week everything that you can imagine has gone wrong.

I found another person to exchange with us, we are with the Housing association, we both work and there is a reason for me saying this.

We had all the checks, they had a lot of work needing doing to their house but presumed we would pay for it, so they failed on their inspection, then they pulled out .

I feel sad as I feel let down and I know what was involved,but was trying to see the best in a not so great situation dp says it what it is, it was not meant to be .

He wants us to try and look at other options, I was so upset I cried and the kids found me I have never cried in front of them I feel such a let down, I am so gutted.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 08/04/2013 22:24

I'm really sorry - that is a lousy thing to happen (similar thing has just happened to my DS and DDIL) Sad

I know you feel very upset now, but your DP is right (and I said something similar to my son) it may turn out that something better is waiting round the corner for you and that in the long run this will have happened for the best.

Chin up eh? Smile xx

SavoyCabbage · 08/04/2013 22:27

I'm not surprised you feel sad and disappointed. There's nothing wrong with having a cry. It's just a bump in the road and it will all come together in the end. Wine

Original poster
takeabreakmum · 08/04/2013 22:29

Thank you KurriKuri I know its for the best and it was the fact I was helpless to change it.

Thank you for the kind words your son is so lucky to have such a lovely Mum, I hope it works out for them and us xx

OP posts:
Original poster
takeabreakmum · 08/04/2013 22:32

Thank you Savoy I have never cried in front of my children but my son came to find me, and cuddled me, and my dd wiped my tears away.

OP posts:
smokinaces · 08/04/2013 22:33

Did they pull out because of the failed inspection? Did they get told they would have to pay for the work?

That happened to us. I had to go to the council with the other tenant and sign a disclaimer against all of the items it failed on, saying I would be responsible for rectifying and paying for it.

Then it was allowed.

Have you spoken to the other tenants directly?

Feel for you, I was a bag of nerves during my exchange.

CharlieUniformNovemberTango · 08/04/2013 22:33

I know you must be gutted but you will find the right place eventually.

You haven't caused this and all you can do know is focus on the next step be that moving to find a new place or accepting the one you have.

Are the reason why they failed fixable? If they are very keen to swap they might be motivated to get stuff sorted quite quickly and go for it again?

Original poster
takeabreakmum · 08/04/2013 22:44

They said they had personal problems with family, they generally had knocked down walls ,put in walls and generally not really not looked after the property thought we would take care of it as we work, thought we could afford it all.

Problem was after the inspection it would of cost us a lot thousands, I just wanted a new start, but was told they would have to do two inspections as they could not complete the first inspection it was that bad.

I was just trying to be positive, guess I was a fool.

OP posts:
LovelyMeredith · 08/04/2013 22:49

We had a problem similar to this with the Housing Association when I was a kid when we had someone cancel an exchange (by leaving a message on our answering machine to add insult). It turned out he woman we wanted an exchanged with was frequently pulling out of exchanges so much that they were told they had to stick with any future exchanges once agreed (one poor woman was suicidal because they pulled out TWO DAYS before they were exchanging homes) .

smokinaces · 08/04/2013 22:53

Lovelymeredith there is a woman like that on one of the current exchange sites here. shes pulled out on two friends and countless others.

Op, you will get an exchange. It will happen. It's just this house wasn't yours. Good luck.

Original poster
takeabreakmum · 08/04/2013 22:57

I guess it was no meant to be ,we have other options which we are lucky, I know I should be grateful deep down and feel sorry for anyone that has to experience this.

Thank you to all of you for the kind words it just was not meant to be I will except it, I have a house and that I should appreciate., we are fortunate than most xx

OP posts:
Original poster
takeabreakmum · 08/04/2013 23:09

Bump

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 09/04/2013 10:22

How are you doing this morning takeabreak?

Original poster
takeabreakmum · 09/04/2013 11:12

I am doing ok, done with the crying and just getting on with it and keeping busy thanks for asking KurriKurri.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 09/04/2013 11:32

Good for you, - something will turn up, it really will. Your children sound lovely Smile

Original poster
takeabreakmum · 09/04/2013 17:33

Thank you my children are young so I cried because they said they are still glad they can share their room together, and it did not matter I am so lucky really to have them both.

Today I will just move on and except it was not meant to be, thank you to all of you for being so kind to me.

OP posts:
marjproops · 09/04/2013 17:38

ive had it too. perfect place to suit Dc and I and they pulled out.

recently.

we are gutted and it took a long time to fins suitable place.

sooooo feel for you but unfortunately these things happen on these swappy things.

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