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To refuse to other kids to chicken pox

16 replies

DixieD · 08/04/2013 20:14

Dd got chicken pox on Sat. Not too bad a dose to be fair. A good lot of spots but not causing her much bother. In good form if a little tired and grumpy.
i had met a friend and briefly on Friday so texted her just to let her know. She texted back to say she would bring her kids around early in the week so they could catch it. I thought she was joking so didn't reply.
I rang her this morning for something else and she asked again could they call over this evening. I said I wasn't really comfortable with it because I would feel bad if her kids got a really bad dose and I'd deliberately exposed them to it.
She was a bit Hmm but seemed to accept it. DH thinks I should have let her. IHO they are her kids and if she wants to take the risk it's up to her. WIBU?

OP posts:

TreeLuLa · 08/04/2013 20:15


If she would rather her children caught chicken pox now than another time, then YABU to allow her to expose them to it.


Moominsarescary · 08/04/2013 20:16

I think you did right, just think how bad you'd feel if they got a really bad dose


ilovepowerhoop · 08/04/2013 20:16

no, I wouldnt have done it either - yanbu


PicaK · 08/04/2013 20:18



Cravingdairy · 08/04/2013 20:24

When I had chicken pox as a child the last thing I wanted was a playdate! YANBU.


Willdoitinaminute · 08/04/2013 20:24

My DS ended up in hospital with suspected meningitis as a complication of chicken pox so no yanbu I would have felt very guilty if I had actively sought out the virus or allowed other children to deliberately catch it from him.


TreeLuLa · 08/04/2013 20:26

But most children get CP at some time!

If DCs are otherwise healthy, surely getting it sooner is better than later. I was very relieved that my DCs had CP at preschool rather than at school.


expatinscotland · 08/04/2013 20:26



TheDegglyDonkey · 08/04/2013 20:27

There was a thread not long ago about a toddler who had complications from chicken pox. IIRC, he had quite a long stay in hospital and is still recovering.

YANBU at all, I would have done the same.


Backtobedlam · 08/04/2013 20:28

I'd say its up to the other child's mum. Most children will get it at some time or another, and if they were mixing before the spots came out chances are the other child is incubating it anyway. The only time I'd say no is if my child was really under the weather with it and wouldn't want a friend round.


LoveSewingBee · 08/04/2013 20:29


In rare cases chickenpox can result in encephalitis.


expatinscotland · 08/04/2013 20:29

'If DCs are otherwise healthy, surely getting it sooner is better than later. I was very relieved that my DCs had CP at preschool rather than at school.'

No, it isn't. Plenty of healthy children can develop complications. Imagine how the OP would feel if this woman's children did?


TreeLuLa · 08/04/2013 20:34

It's not the OP's fault if the woman's children developed complications!

Any more than it would be OP's fault if the other woman's DC's DIDN't get it this time, but instead got in in 5 years time and got complications then.


MyDarlingClementine · 08/04/2013 20:45

I think you were well within your rights to make sure your DC wasnt the source of this ladies DC pox.

If something did go wrong a) how would you feel and

b) what's to stop her saying " but you shouldn't have let us come round its your house"

I think people are v v ignorant when it comes to the pox.

I do know people who have had nasty complications! It does happen!

My own DD had a good dose but one that didn't affect her too much, but so what, I know a few others who have been v ill!


Hulababy · 08/04/2013 20:55


You don't feel comfortable with the risk, it's your home - so you can say no.

And whilst most children go through chicken pox relatively easily and unscathed there are serious complications that occur. If one of her children got CP and had complications through exposure at your house, you would feel responsible.

I would never encourage a known risk of exposure to any potentially dangerous illness; well any illness full stop tbh.


expatinscotland · 08/04/2013 21:02

'It's not the OP's fault if the woman's children developed complications!'

Still wouldn't stop her feeling bad about it and she doesn't feel comfortable with it. No is complete sentence, OP. I'd have told her no, too.

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