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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be dreading having a newborn again?

22 replies

JollyPurpleGiant · 08/04/2013 11:14

I am 19 weeks pregnant with DC2. DC1 is 23mo, very funny, caring, lovely, engaging, fascinating....

Am I being unreasonable to be dreading having a tiny, breakable, crying, feeding, boring, terrifying, confusing newborn again?

OP posts:
Areyoumadorisitme · 08/04/2013 11:16

YANBU, but you are forgetting the charm of a newborn. It was be lovely, hard work but lovely.

Areyoumadorisitme · 08/04/2013 11:17

And the second one is often more chilled out and you'll feel more confident so baby will feel less 'breakable', altogether more relaxing. Enjoy Smile

Lilipaddle · 08/04/2013 11:19

YANBU, pop him/her in a wrap sling for the first 4 months Grin

LibertineLover · 08/04/2013 11:19

Aw you will enjoy it, I promise! It adds a whole new dimension when you have one already too. It will fly by, and soon you will have two terrors keeping you on your toes!

Offcolour · 08/04/2013 11:21

Yanbu. I have dd (2.8) and ds (4 months). I was dreading it. In the end, it was tough, but no-where near as tough as the first time, you are so much more confident and the "baby shock" is nothing like as bad. Ds is a lot more chilled out too (or should that be has much better parents...?).

mrsjay · 08/04/2013 11:22

yanbu but just remember they are not newborns for very long and just think you can sniff in that new baby smell again Grin

mrsjay · 08/04/2013 11:23

oh and I agree the 2nd time can be a doddle compared to that first baby panic

hotcrosbum · 08/04/2013 11:28

I am pregnant and dreading it too.

Although, dc1 is 11 years old so it's been a while. And this time I don't plan on taking any shit from this ones father, mx exh did sod all, my now dh will have to pull his wieght with night feeds/nappy changes/doing stuff with the baby.

I think I will also be less worried. The amount of worry that comes after baby hood shocked me, a baby that can't move will be a doodle compared to what I have been through with ds over the years.

HappyDogRedDogToss · 08/04/2013 11:29

You will look back and wonder why you made such a fuss with PFB Grin

You will also appreciate the inability of a newborn to answer back, run off, say No, cross its arms and shake its head, say Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy, and do snake poo the size of your arm.

Chocoflump · 08/04/2013 11:29

There's 2 years 4 months between my two, and it's fantastic. Nowhere near as hard as I thought it would b. DD is 7 months and DS is almost 3. I didn't enjoy my second pregnancy at all as I was so worried as to how i would cope but it's worked out so well! DD just adores her big brother and is happy sitting in her bumbo watching him! They are starting to be good friends already.

Congrats on your pregnancy xx

quoteunquote · 08/04/2013 11:50

Don't worry you are far more astute second time around, and able to identify your moments, also as you are far busier DC2 has a different shut down system, they tend to become more adaptable quicker.

JollyPurpleGiant · 08/04/2013 12:36

God I hope so. And at least I'll still have DS to keep me entertained during the monotony.

We need some sort of exchange scheme where one of the mad women who likes newborns can look after mine until they're about 1 and then give them back Grin

OP posts:
redwellybluewelly · 08/04/2013 12:43

Yabu (ish)

First time newborn was in NICU in a coma and couldn't hold her until she was ten days old, she was very high tone and in a lot of pain so cried and was a stiff as a plank for months. Then she had all sorts of other issues. I don't even remember my recovery from a fairly rough labour.

This time I'm hoping the recovery from CS will be easier and that we get to do all the normal newborn things. Im gutted I won't be able to use our wrap although DH will. As for how dc1 will take to dc2 YANBU I'm not sure if they'll get on either!

Chelvis · 08/04/2013 12:45

I've got 20 month old DD1 and 3 week old DD2 - like you, I was dreading it, but it's been great so far! DD2's hobbies seem to be sleeping, eating and watching DD1 dance about. DD1 adores her, and I am so much more confident than with DD1. You won't have that terrible shock of dealing with a newborn this time!

nethunsreject · 08/04/2013 12:45

Yanbu, but as you know from first time, it passes!

Beatrixpotty · 08/04/2013 12:47

YANBU to worry but really it's not that bad..I'm doing it for the 3rd time around again & you just get on with it..& have lovely baby cuddles!

MiaowTheCat · 08/04/2013 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TroublesomeEx · 08/04/2013 13:07

It's sooooo much easier the second time round. And you don't sweat the small stuff half as much!

DragonMamma · 08/04/2013 13:10

YANBU

I don't like the newborn stage very much either. I find the working out what's wrong bit hard, why won't they sleep more than 40mins yadda yadda.

I've had 2, the thought of a third newborn stage with car seats and changing bags makes me nauseous.

kinkyfuckery · 08/04/2013 13:11

Totally natural to be worrying. The newborn-plus-toddler stage is hard work, but it makes bedtime even more rewarding Wink

Mutley77 · 08/04/2013 13:17

I feel the same :( It is my 3rd and I had a really hard time with DC 1 at newborn stage, it went a lot easier with DC 2 and I felt really well prepared and emotionally ready so have put the easiness down to that!

With DC 3 he/she is unplanned (but certainly not unwanted) and we have just emigrated to Australia - we have another move into our "permanent" rented house next week and I am then due to have my C/S 8 weeks after the move. I am just emotionally unprepared - too much else to do/worry about, feel like I have no support, and can't even keep on top of my 2DC and their needs as it is. They are 8 and 4 so practically it will be a doddle but they need a lot of emotional input at the moment with having left friends, starting new schools, moving house, etc.

I am worried that the lack of preparation and emotional readiness will make the experience really difficult and I will be unable to cope.

I am sure we will both be fine when it comes to it - but you are not alone....

Goldrill · 08/04/2013 14:18

YANBU. It's hell. Was going to have three, but no way can i go through this again. And DD2 is utterly adorable and sooo much easier and more laid back than DD1 - it's the having both to cope with that's causing me problems. I suspect I am not a natural at being a mum to littlies!

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