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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are some people 'born housewives'

26 replies

hairtearing · 08/04/2013 10:16

in that I mean are some people better at being housewives than others,
I am shit, I long for the day my house is spotless, but there's just not enough room to put everything.

I have 2 DC nearly 4 and 4 month old. potty training so spend most of the day washing what has been pissed on rather than clothes and sicked on (bad reflux).

Just piles of clothes throughout the house! argh I turn around and there's another. I just argh I see pictures of people on fb with spotless houses and I just think :/ sigh.

AIBU in thinking that some people just naturally better/worse?

OP posts:

Pascha · 08/04/2013 10:19

DH is a born housewife. I don't seem to have aquired that gene .

noisytoys · 08/04/2013 10:21

Even when our house is tidy and clean it still looks a mess it needs new carpets, the furniture is shabby and it needs decorating. All the lovely houses are well kept and loved. Ours is falling apart

Original poster

hairtearing · 08/04/2013 10:21

Same here,

I'm just like :/ I think because everything I do gets 'undone' I just disheartened.

OP posts:

SirBoobAlot · 08/04/2013 10:22

I've certainly missed out on the gene, much to my mother's annoyance.

freddiefrog · 08/04/2013 10:24

Yes, I think I'm missing the gene too

My house is tidy on the surface, but beyond shoving stuff in cupboards, I can't force myself to give a shit

DrCoconut · 08/04/2013 10:25

Me too sir Boob

wannabedomesticgoddess · 08/04/2013 10:26

Every house has piles of crap somewhere even the tidy ones. Our house is only tidy because we have a huge storage room and a spare bedroom (henceforth known as the laundry room :o )

Our last house was impossible to keep on top of because it was tiny and there was no storage.

I have found I actually enjoy doing the housework here because it actually looks done, whereas before it was never ending so I thought "whats the point?"

Pascha · 08/04/2013 10:27

Thats totally it Freddiefrog. I can't make myself give a shit either as long as its not all over the place. It winds DH up no end, I think the house is tidy, he comes home and spends twenty minutes just moving stuff from one place to another and the house looks 100% better.

scarletforya · 08/04/2013 10:27

Yes, definitely!

I think it's upbringing as well though. My Mother was much more focused on cleanliness and order though than cooking and I am exactly the same.

Snoopingforsoup · 08/04/2013 10:28

I feel like you OP. I can clean the place and 2 hours later it's a pigsty again.
I think I spend too much time in my home and notice it more.
When I've been away for a weekend or a week, I come in and am pleasantly surprised by how tidy and nice it is, so it must be alright really!
I have never loved housework or felt joy in leaping out of bed to get it done! Some people I know prioritise it with determination/habit. I wish I was like that. I'm not!

mrsjay · 08/04/2013 10:29

I have not the housework gene either I am not organised enough ,

My mum was frantic about it though so much so that I felt uncomfortable growing up I think it has scarred me or i am a lazy moo

Catchingmockingbirds · 08/04/2013 10:29

Our house was spotless when we had a junk room, now we've no storage and the place is a riot.

fridayfreedom · 08/04/2013 10:29

Have long given up on having a homes and gardens type house. DH would be the next Mr Trebus if I let him and Dd is doing two art subjects at A level so the lounge is constantly covered in textile and art stuff. Oh and my furry boys(guinea pigs) are indoors so the hay travels
I just try to keep the place clean but tidy is beyond me

twolittlemonkeys · 08/04/2013 10:30

Yep, well I think it's partly genes, partly upbringing. My mum was not a born housewife - her house is very untidy (even by my lax standards). I am constantly frustrated by the mess in my own house but clearing and cleaning only for it to be undone within minutes is just soul destroying and just about anything is a better use of my time than tidying!

BertieBotts · 08/04/2013 10:32

I don't have the housework gene either. DP does. I asked him yesterday if there was anything that needed doing and he gestured to the whole room and said "Yes, everything, it all needs tidying"

I look around in complete bewilderment because it all looks fine to me!

Startail · 08/04/2013 10:35

Yes, we have three mums at school who start discussing how clean the school hall is and like chatting about domestic stuff and the joys of clean tidy houses [confussed]

It's very boring, I want to talk about, the state of the nation, films, books, things at school, even the weather. Anything except housework!

Theicingontop · 08/04/2013 10:36

My house looks quite nice when it's tidy.

Finding the motivation to have it spotless is impossible. Except for when people schedule visits. Then it's immaculate.

And then they probably go on Mumsnet and post about how they wonder where I get the time to keep my house so tidy whereas they only bother tidying when people are round, and so on and so forth.

mrsjay · 08/04/2013 10:38

I hate people talking about housework and soft furnishings etc I try and not look bored but I can't help it
a woman I know tells me when she has moved her livingroom around so she can get down the back of the sofa to sweep the edges and then buys new cushions and curtains I do like her she is lovely but housework talk god know id rather stick pins in my eyes,

I just get no joy out of it

soverylucky · 08/04/2013 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wigglesrock · 08/04/2013 10:40

I'm good at cleaning, tidying, making things "look" tidier by making a few piles of stuff etc but I clean for a living so I don't find it difficult. But I can't stand to cook or garden, to me they're extra jobs. I get absolutely no enjoyment from either, I'd live on toast given the choice.

BubblePopper · 08/04/2013 10:53

Definitely!
I have a friend who excels at being a housewife. She thrives on it and has a lovely, clean home, DC ferried around to lots of activities which she is involved in and she seems content and happy.
I muddle through the days, never (well very rarely) have a lovely home and am looking for work as I am so bored and useless at home that I can't justify doing it anymore

morefiling · 08/04/2013 11:18

I'm definitely not a born housewife - my last home became pretty chaotic and we never had people over. I've recently moved though as now living with DP and I've suddenly turned into a domestic goddess!

What has made a difference is: having a bigger home, sacrificing some of my interests to do more housework (used to have hobbies that would keep me busy every evening), and feeling more of an incentive now I'm living with DP (I used to live with just my DS who really didn't mind a bit of dust). And I also used to be too poor to buy decent storage, we have massive Ikea Pax wardrobes now which are used to shove a lot of things behind, and a big bathroom where we can keep drying laundry out of the way but I still want a utility room

badbride · 08/04/2013 11:18

I was born with the perfect housewife gene. Everything has to be just so: carpets hoovered, tops spotless, elegant soft furnishings, fresh pot-pourri in each room, and nice Molton Brown handwash and matching moisturiser in pump dispensers the bathroom to make guests feel welcome.

Unfortunately, my perfect housewife gene appears to be recessive to my dominant lazy-arsed slattern gene, which means absolutely one of the above ever happens. My house is a tip. Funny thing, genetics

Mumsyblouse · 08/04/2013 11:31

LOL badbride

I don't have it, but I do have friends who are really organized and just keep everything lovely, even when they are working full-time (I do either/or in this situation). I love going to stay in their houses, it's like going to a hotel!

Original poster

hairtearing · 08/04/2013 11:34

I do think aswell with kids I'm doing all the hard work, night wakes,wiping arses,feeding ,dinner,tea,bath,bedtime my life runs to a clock as it is in my mind, its like I've had enough!

Storage is an issue never enough especially for clothes, and end up having to pile it up!

OP posts:

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