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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To blame everyone else for not warning me?

128 replies

HerrenaHarridan · 07/04/2013 22:26

Wtf. Why did no one warn me this can happen?

Today I was watching a friends little boy 18mo. I was changing his nappy which was a well spread, thoroughly glued monster poo.

I went through a lot of wipes and had to rub a fair amount to get poo off, especially round the creasy testicle area and once I'd got it all I pulled the final wipe away to discover his penis was standing up!

Surely that shouldn't be possible, he's just a baby?

Please mumsnet, please tell me this has happened to somebody else. Is it just something people don't talk about?

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 07/04/2013 22:50

As someone who hasn't changed a boy's nappy, I didn't know this. How can you stop yourself getting peed on, apart from being quick?

Original poster
HerrenaHarridan · 07/04/2013 22:50

I am in blushing hysterics at the idea of a little boy going "but mum, have you seen it dads willy is huge!"

It a healthy, normal observation by an innocent child coming to understand the world around them. But it's also hysterical!

OP posts:
flippinada · 07/04/2013 22:51

Yes that's true satsuki

What can I say, I've been well and truly told! :)

bigbuttons · 07/04/2013 22:52

yes, it's perfectly normal and doesn't always mean an impending pee either.

Myliferocks · 07/04/2013 22:53

I had 3 girls followed by 2 boys. I'll never forget the looks on my girls faces when they first saw DS1 have an erection during a nappy change. Grin

I never got wee'd on by my boys but my girls constantly did it.
I never realised that girls could hit you in the eye with wee when they were laid on their backs having their nappy changed!

northcountrygirl · 07/04/2013 22:53

Wait til he's about 3 or 4. I remember my son saying "look at this mummy - I can make it go big all over. It's like magic"

Mmm yeah son thanks for sharing....

EggsEggSplat · 07/04/2013 22:53

DS, aged about three, once greeted DH at the door with the question, "Daddy, when you do a poo do you get a pointy willy too?"

It was of course one of the rare evenings when he'd brought a visiting colleague from overseas home for supper.

I'm not sure if DS ever got an answer...

kotinka · 07/04/2013 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HerrenaHarridan · 07/04/2013 22:54

No worries flipinada, there were reassuring responses first so I didn't immediately feel like some weird pervert who had magically brought puberty forward by ten years.

Just ignorant! Grin

There are something's that amaze me other people don't already know ( like washing the cleanest stuff first and the greasy stuff last)

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 07/04/2013 22:55

Oh and I quickly leaned to hold the front part of the nappy over the willy just in case!

StickEmWithThePointyEnd · 07/04/2013 22:57

I have a brother and my mum told me about it before I had ds. She also told me about the mini period thing in baby girls and that she took me to a&e in a panic when she saw blood in my nappy as a newborn.

flippinada · 07/04/2013 22:58

Oh blimey I wasn't meaning that at all! Sorry. I can see why people reacted so strongly now.

I do see it would be a bit alarming if you weren't expecting it.

CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs · 07/04/2013 22:59

I had DD at 16. 4 years later I had DS1. Nobody had told me about this, no books I had read said it in - but the books I had were all quite old when I read them, secondhand, 15+ years ago when I was pg with DD.

Not one of them mentioned it - that sort of thing wasn't put in baby books back then!

I soon learnt to put a wipe over it while changing a nappy though!!

erowid · 07/04/2013 23:00

Whaaat?? Mini periods and baby erections? Shock

Geez you can tell I haven't had kids.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/04/2013 23:01

I had no idea about this before I had my PFB DS (but then I'd never held a new baby until I had my own) I'd held babies but not tiny.

Yes, you learn to put the nappy on quick.
And to make sure he's pointing downwards (after experiencing that they can pee over the top ) Blush

flippinada · 07/04/2013 23:01

Sorry that was to Herrena

I'd be the first to admit there's a lot I don't know when it comes to childcare Grin

kotinka · 07/04/2013 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenEggsAndNichts · 07/04/2013 23:02

oh the head tilting has already been done, good.

When you have a boy, you learn to get that nappy front up quick smart. :) I'd read about it (so have passed the test, I guess) but DH was the one caught out by it- more than once.

Oh and if you're wondering, or new to it, remember to point the willy in a generally downward direction when putting a new nappy on. Otherwise his next wee will just go out the top, if you're very unfortunate.

AuntLucyInPeru · 07/04/2013 23:04

Best ever quote from DS, sitting quietly in the back of the car.

[dh] what cha thinking 'bout, son?
[ds aged 2] I'm just rubbing my willie and thinking about you.
[dh] ... Stunned silence...

SatsukiKusukabe · 07/04/2013 23:04

flipinada, I don't think I've ever seen anyone admit they were wrong on aibu. Shock
Grin

wittyliteraryname · 07/04/2013 23:07

I remember sitting innocently watching TV when DS (then around 3, now 9) calmly announced that watching the pretty lady made his willy go big. I was mortified, XH was so proud of his boy though.

I am storing this up for the future as the pretty lady was Lorraine Kelly! how his future girlfriends will laugh.

Nonetheless, since starting school he has been pretty anti-girls and thinks "kissing and stuff is disgusting"

Titsalinabumsquash · 07/04/2013 23:07

I am also a mum to 3 boys, willys a'go go in this house! I'm forever saying things like "please on't play with your willy in the front room DS.."

The older 2 also had a hilarious Hmm game of poking theirs out the top of their trousers and seeing how long it would take before I'd notice ...

And yes we have the conversation about Daddies willy bring giant AND hairy and how side splittingly funny it is.

I'm oblivious to anything penis related now tbh.

SatsukiKusukabe · 07/04/2013 23:09

oh and babies get boobs too! and DD lactated!

RubyrooUK · 07/04/2013 23:09

Nobody told me that my two year old would spend his whole time fiddling with his willy in public either. Smile

I try to make it no big deal so some time ago, developed the strategy of saying "let's not fiddle here" in a brisk voice and then moving on to distracting him.

Except that recently he says loudly while sticking his hands down his pants: "Mummy, I am not fiddling. Oh I am fiddling. Look, mummy, can you hear me? LOOK MUMMY AT ME FIDDLING."

I wish I'd just ignored it totally now.

flippinada · 07/04/2013 23:09

What can I say, I really did think this was something people knew about, but obviously I was wrong!

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