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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or was cabin crew? My child scolded herself.

289 replies

maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 19:42

Ok flying home from Easter holiday. We went with a large group of us so all four children sat in the row in front with us sitting behind them on the plane. Cabin crew come through serving hot drinks and I have my nose in a book so do not notice. All of a sudden my six year old starts to scream. She had split hot chocolate all over herself . Turns out a member of crew asked if she would like a hot drink and she asked for a hot chocolate which was given to her without a lid or my consent. A member of crew took us to the loos and dressed to burn. I asked if it is normal procedure to give a young child a hot drink without consent and a lid. She said it wasn't and they would normally get consent and even then water it down with milk and pop on a lid.

Husband wants to make a complaint but I sort of feel I was partly to blame as I was not sat with her. She still has marks on her legs five days on. So am I to blame for not sitting with her or should I make a complaint?

OP posts:
Altinkum · 07/04/2013 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bearbehind · 07/04/2013 21:22

It has been raised, the OP filled in an incident form. Why would less be done about that than a complaint letter dealt with in some customer service centre? I'm sure the member of staff who did it won't do it again so what good does banging on about it do?

apostropheuse · 07/04/2013 21:25

If the drink truly was "scalding hot" the child would have most likely had been left with severe burns, or at least be bad enough burning to merit a visit to the GP, or even A & E, when the plane landed.

As the member of crew staff mentioned earlier, it was very likely not as hot as a drink you would make at home.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 07/04/2013 21:33

It doesn't matter one bit where you were sitting OP, or that the kids were all together or anything else that people are judging you for Hmm - the only thing that's relevant here is that some fuckwit gave a child a very very hot drink... idiotic.

I don't know if I'd bother writing or doing anything tbh because I doubt they'd do much with it - but if you have the energy then it can't hurt.

Floggingmolly · 07/04/2013 21:37

Op, you didn't think the wound needed medical attention on leaving the plane, it can hardly have been significant.
If you complain to "helpfully" suggest they don't serve drinks to minors, they may reply with the equally helpful suggestion that you supervise your child more closely in future. Let it go.

SemiDetached · 07/04/2013 21:45

What a strange lot of responses you've had OP. Has the Helicopter Parenting Society invaded?

It would have been great fun for the children to sit together, and it is not necessary to watch your child 100% of the time. I actually laughed out loud at the suggestion that a single parent would take their child to the toilet with them! I am a single parent, and I'd be more than happy to let my children remain in their seats, on an enclosed airplane, at 30,000 feet, while I went for a pee in a toilet only slightly larger than my ass.

I would not make an official complaint, but I would write an informative letter, highlighting what happened. Hopefully this way, some training can be provided. The cabin crew should know that you don't hand a cup full of boiling hot liquid to a young child. Not sure why this is such a difficult concept for some posters to recognise. Confused

OneHundredSecondsofSolitude · 07/04/2013 21:46

Hot chocolate is hot shocker!

GreenEggsAndNichts · 07/04/2013 21:48

Send in a complaint. Do it politely, but say that you were surprised that your 6 yr old was served such a hot drink.

I understand people are blaming you for not paying attention, so okay, lets issue you your blame and your 50 lashes. However, a 6 yr old should not be served a hot hot chocolate. Even if you were wide awake and vigilant as ofc every mother is all the time Hmm, I'd expect that they'd make the drink with some cold milk to temper the heat. Once upon a time, I worked in restaurants, and that is how we served hot chocolate to children. And that was on terra firma.

Go ahead and say you aren't expecting a resolution to this beyond making sure that staff know their own procedure for serving 'hot' drinks to youngsters. They must need some review, and sending in a formal complaint is the only way this might happen.

plinkyplonks · 07/04/2013 21:50

I really don't understand why you should complain? Your children are ultimately your responsibility. Shouldn't you have been sitting next to them rather than leaving them unaccompanied?

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/04/2013 21:53

Well I think complaining is a bit Helicopter Parenting really, it seemed to be done and dusted on the flight.
I don't see what anybody would gain unless they wanted some type of monetary award.
And it's still up to parents to keep an eye out, not the air crew.

Growlithe · 07/04/2013 22:33

I've just been on holiday flying with Virgin. They did serve hot chocolate in paper cups without lids. They only half fill the fairly large cups.

There are a number of reasons why I wouldn't have let my DCs sit alone, especially this mix of age groups. I like to supervise with food. Even without hot drinks, those hot meal trays are a bit of a hazard when you are pulling off the foil lids. I can't imagine a 6 year old not struggling with this, and I wouldn't expect a slightly older child to have to take responsibility.

Also, Virgin flights have the personal entertainment TV things. There are two options on the menu, one is 'Just for Kids' and one with every option, for adults. There is nothing to stop a child selecting the adult option, my 9 year old did it by mistake. For April, one of the films on offer was apparently about a plane crash Hmm, others had sex scenes - I would have wanted to leave a child unsupervised with this access.

Then there is the obvious one of emergencies - life jackets etc.

I can't see why, wherever you are on the plane, if you were awake you wouldn't have noticed the drinks trolley. If you are at the toilet they always get in your way. They are so slow coming down the aisle you are aware of them. As well as this they are a double row in depth so one steward would have been serving either the grandparents row or your own at the same time as the children's row.

I just don't get how the drink could have been served with no adult in the party noticing, unless you were all asleep, and if so of course YABU.

TheChaoGoesMu · 07/04/2013 22:40

YANBU. Ridiculous. Your child might be sensible enough to sit in a seat with her friends, but I wouldn't expect an adult to come and hand her a cup of boiling liquid to pour over herself. No common sense at all. I would certainly complain.

Original poster
maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 22:44

I was aware of the entertainment system and I did supervise this and made sure they were on the children's bit. I did also supervise the meals but I missed the hot drinks. They were not offered any on the outbound flight so again I assumed they wouldn't be inbound. So calm down dear. I'm not that dumb.

OP posts:
Growlithe · 07/04/2013 22:47

But the hot drinks were always served about 10 minutes after the meals were cleared up? Both outbound and inbound. So surely if you had supervised the meal you would have been around for the drink?

Original poster
maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 22:52

Nope I missed the hot drinks. This is my honest answer. I can't remember them being served but I do remember not being offered one. I can only think that she burnt herself immediately after being given the drink. But I honestly do not remember the cart. It was about 11pm.

OP posts:
CheCazzo · 07/04/2013 22:53

All you saying 'boiling' liquid, very very hot drink, scalding drink etc - please note - had the drink been any of these things the child would have suffered significant burns requiring at the very least a visit to the GP on landing. The OP has said there was no blistering and a GP visit was not necessary - in which case it is surely safe to assume that the drink was at best slightly hotter than 'warm' and certainly not in the 'thermo-nuclear' category.

Original poster
maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 22:55

If the burn was treated immdiately (with some gel type thing) would it still burn? She isn't a whinny child but she did really scream. It must of hurt her.

OP posts:
Original poster
maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 22:55

Sorry meant would it still blister?

OP posts:
clam · 07/04/2013 22:57

OK, so suppose you had been sitting with your child when she asked for/was offered a hot drink. Would you have said yes? In which case, who would you have blamed when she then spilt it over herself?
And if you are particular about potential accidents/spillages with hot drinks, and would have said no, then I think your internal radar ought to have alerted you to the fact that the hot drinks trolley was on its way round.
I too think it's nice for the kids to sit together on a flight, but you still need to be aware of what's going on, and ready to intervene if squabbles break out/food needs supervising. You say you were doing this, in which case I'd say it was still up to you to notice the hot drinks. Or, if you'd been up and down and busy doing this a lot already, you could have woken up your husband and got him to take a turn on duty.

Growlithe · 07/04/2013 22:58

Sorry, I don't doubt you, but I can't get my head round how they could be serving the children without serving one of the rows of adults at the same time because of the double depth trolley.

Also, those drinks were at best luke warm. I know because I was drinking tea. I assumed this was a health and safety thing.

Suttonmum1 · 07/04/2013 23:01

Blame is 50/50 but a more practical idea is to write a letter explaining incident and if Virgin have any sort of Air Miles type loyalty scheme be sure to give you loyalty club details. Hopefully you will then get a good wodge of points by return post. Has worked for husband with a faulty hot water system in a hotel and a faulty TV on a plane recently. They are much more likely to give compensation that way.

Actually for a plane incident they sometimes give out cards where they detail the incident and sign it so you have some proof.

Original poster
maxbradbury · 07/04/2013 23:05

I accept I missed the hot drinks cart but it really could not of been lukewarm for her reaction to have been that way and also her leggings that we took off straight away felt very warm.

I did not leave them the whole flight to behave like animals but as I said I missed the cart.

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 07/04/2013 23:10

I would be extremely surprised if a truly boiling hot drink did not require any medical attention whatsoever when you got home.

As I said earlier, I spent six weeks in hospital with exactly the same thing and have been scarred all my life because of it.

Your daughter could have screamed because it was warm, even if not boiling, and she also probably got a fright.

Just be glad that she's fine now and won't have any repercussions from it please.

TheChaoGoesMu · 07/04/2013 23:12

No it wouldn't always blister op if treated asap.

Sirzy · 07/04/2013 23:13

Max how many adults where in your party?

Even if you managed to miss them bringing the drinks i struggle to believe that not one of the party noticed

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