Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be completely would up to the point I'm fuming over friends comments

64 replies

parisfernandez · 07/04/2013 17:38

I posted a post up on facebook earlier asking if anyone fancied a night out tonight because there is a good band on in my local pub. I have not had a night out since last October and i split up with my DP last month. I was thinking a nice night with friends would do me really good. My DD is away tonight staying at her aunties house. 3 of my 'friends' commented saying that I shouldn't be going out when I'm pregnant, that I should wait until I've had my baby so i can have a 'proper night out' and the other told me I shouldn't be going out anyway when I have a DD at home. Thus resulted in the three of them laughing to each other about my situation and arranging a night out between themselves which is obviously not going to include me. These 3 women only started drinking a few months ago. They used to go out to the pub and just drink juice, now they are telling me that I can't go out because I can't just drink juice all night and there is no way I can enjoy myself when I can't have a drink.

I'm so angry. I cried after reading the comments they really hurt. I've removed it from Facebook now incase anyone else joined in.

Am I being unreasonable? Do they have a valid point? Should I not be going out when I'm pregnant? Should mums not be allowed a night off? I work full time so it's not as If I'm using tax payers money to pay for my cans of coca cola in the pub so i dont understand why I should stay in every night by myself.

I'm so angry

OP posts:
seriouscakeeater · 07/04/2013 18:13

ah thats horrible Flowers I personally would message them and say why you found those comments hurtful and was hoping for a bit of support at this bad time. Then delete them off if they don't apologise xxx

PenelopePortrait · 07/04/2013 18:23

What was their response to your texts OP?

coughingbean · 07/04/2013 18:36

And me, take me too!

Uppermid · 07/04/2013 18:37

They are not friends. What bitches.

Just because you're pregnant and have a child does not mean you can't go out. You're still you, a person in your own right. You're not just a mother or a womb.

Good for you for telling them they upset you and unless the properly apologies, I wouldn't bother with them again

olivertheoctopus · 07/04/2013 18:39

Delete them!! Who the fuck says you can't go out when you're pregnant?!! Esp if you have a babysitter. What absolute bitches. I hope you manage to find someone to go with and have a good time. Or go by yourself if it's your local?

stifnstav · 07/04/2013 18:44

I was out having a night on the tiles four days before a planned c section. I would have belly-bounced anyone who dared to tell me I wasn't allowed out!

Are pregnant ladies supposed to remain indoors after dark? I didn't get that memo.

shellbu · 07/04/2013 18:46

delete and block the bitches , hope you enjoy your night out with proper friends .

ImperialBlether · 07/04/2013 18:54

They're not your friend, OP. This is one of the times where I think Facebook really is the work of the devil!

INeedThatForkOff · 07/04/2013 18:57

Christ, how old are they? Confused they sound about fourteen

sjupes · 07/04/2013 19:01

What bitches op :( so you are pregnant, have a dc and a partner who left you and instead of giving you a microscopic amount of support they ridicule you and then make plans together on your page ?

Delete them and i hope your night gets better Flowers

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight · 07/04/2013 19:08

They are not friends

quoteunquote · 07/04/2013 19:10

meanies, stop wasting any more of your energy on them.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 07/04/2013 21:45

They are not friends and there's no reason you shouldn't go out when you're pregnant. I'm 11 weeks, and went to a party last night! And I've got tickets for a gig when I'll be about 20 weeks. There's plenty of fun to be had out there without drinking.

JessieMcJessie · 09/04/2013 16:49

three of them all simultaneously started drinking three months ago after a life of abstinence? that's extremely weird, have they banded together to turn their backs on a common religion or something? religious influence would explain (though not excuse) their bizarre views on going out while pregnant and a mother's duty to look after her child 100% of the time. Delete and ignore from now on.

kinkyfuckery · 09/04/2013 17:33

Hope you told them to fuck off before you deleted them.

Did you get replies to any of your texts?

MusicalEndorphins · 09/04/2013 17:40

Obviously they missed the part about you wanting to see the entertainment, all they can think about is getting drunk.
They sound very rude. Are you still going to round someone up to go out?
I hope you do go and enjoy the band.

BegoniaBampot · 09/04/2013 17:43

I was out in the pub with friends the day I was due. the guys beside me at the bar did look a bit nervous right enough.

Did you say anything to them OP?

thezebrawearspurple · 09/04/2013 17:53

Defriend, block from phone and fb, ignore forever. What nasty and very weird people. Do you have anyone else to go out with?

elQuintoConyo · 09/04/2013 18:00

I'm sad to say that some friendships just run their course. Did you post that they are childless can't be bothered to find previous post ? If so, obviously they have no idea of the Rights of Pregnant Women to Party.
I'd let the friendship just fizzle out.
Fwiw I had people telling me I couldn't possibly go get a haircut on my due date or go to a friend's Christmas brunch as I'd be a week overdue. Such simpler things! Turns out DS was 12 days late Smile People can be wankers. Avoid.
[Thanks]

elQuintoConyo · 09/04/2013 18:02

Crap! Thanks was supposed to be flowers Thanks

superstarheartbreaker · 09/04/2013 18:23

Sounds like jealousy. Mabe they can't have kids? In any case they are twats and i would get rid.

Lavenderhoney · 09/04/2013 18:36

I wouldn't bother to respond myself, just delete them off Facebook. Dont waste your energy on them. Of course you can have a night out! Many people go out without drinking even if not pregnant.

Can you call anyone else? Or just go to watch, you'll get a seat:) and enjoy. I expect people will chat - I know I would if I was in a busy pub to see a band and prgnt lady was there. Take a magazine or something to pass the time til it starts or if its really busy just take a seat and enjoy being out.

You are better off on your own than with people like this. Loads of nice people about, make the space and time for them by losing these.

Original poster
parisfernandez · 10/04/2013 12:05

Thanks everyone. They did reply to my message but all they said was that they wouldn't do what I'm doing if they were stupid enough to ever get themselves into my situation. That just shows how immature they are and at 25 years old i expected more. Yes I'm young but i devote my life to my kids and I love it. I really enjoy being a parent and it was my choice. I have never ever claimed benefits or even council housing, I have always worked and i work hard for what I have so im not caught in a trap like a lot of young mothers are. They just don't seem to understand and I suppose they never will because they are far too selfish to have children. They aren't religious at all, in fact they ridicule people who go to church (like myself) and don't understand that either. I'll just let the friendship fizzle out. I'm sure they will need me before I need them.

OP posts:
BegoniaBampot · 10/04/2013 12:29

they sound like idiots, why would you want to be friends with them.

KansasCityOctopus · 10/04/2013 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread