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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DSs to see DH drunk every Sunday after rugby?

21 replies

Queenofknickers · 07/04/2013 17:35

DH and DSs all play rugby on a Sunday morning but DH has a tendency to have more than just a couple in the clubhouse afterwards - he very rarely drinks any other time, and never at home, so more than a couple leaves him steaming. I can't bear DSs (7 and9) seeing this and saying to me "is Daddy drunk?" . He doesn't do it every week but I just don't think a child should see their parent sh*tfaced.... DH thinks IAM overreacting and BU.

OP posts:

fluckered · 07/04/2013 17:37

are you with them?

Original poster

Queenofknickers · 07/04/2013 17:41

Not recently as I'm recovering from surgery and prior to that could only go if pain not too bad. If I'm there I just take them home and leave him there tbh. Not happy about that but rather that than them witness it. I may be over sensitive as my grandad was a drinker and my mum has always talked about how much she hated it when he was drunk.

OP posts:

fluckered · 07/04/2013 17:43

well thats what i was going to say take them home if you are there ... but i dont think yabu. if anything its showing your kids that their dad cant have a drink without getting drunk. should be showing them how to drink repsonsibly. you say "steaming" ... is he falling around drunk? fit for the bed? incoherent?

LadyVoldemort · 07/04/2013 17:45

So how often does he drink? I think you would be a bit unreasonable to tell him when he is allowed to drink and how much. A couple of drinks isn't a big deal IMO

moonabove · 07/04/2013 17:46

Don't think it's unreasonable for him to have a drink on a weekend but certainly not when he is in charge of the dc. Can one of the other parents bring them home after so dh can stay on?

Original poster

Queenofknickers · 07/04/2013 17:46

Yes, only fit for bed and loud and stumbling. Nice.

OP posts:

livinginwonderland · 07/04/2013 17:47

the problem is that he can't handle his alcohol. there's nothing wrong with him having a couple of drinks on a sunday lunchtime, but if he's obviously drunk, then yes, it is a problem when he has children to be responsible for.

LadyVoldemort · 07/04/2013 17:49

But how often is he doing it?
I'm struggling to see how you could be that drunk after 2 drinks.

Lueji · 07/04/2013 17:50

So, he's the responsible adult for your children at the club, and he gets drunk?

He should be responsible enough not to drink, really. Never mind anyone else telling him when to drink or how much.

Lueji · 07/04/2013 17:50

And if he can't control his drinking, then he has a problem. Regardless of it being only on a Saturday.

LadyVoldemort · 07/04/2013 17:51

Oh missed the bit about him being in charge of the kids. In that case yanbu

Original poster

Queenofknickers · 07/04/2013 17:55

Yes, I suspect it is more than a couple ( people buy him drinks as he is on committee) and I think he loses count PLUS he can't handle his drink like most of them. Tbh I also get annoyed that it means he is passed out on sofa in afternoon - I work and he stays at home and that is pretty much our only family time after sport.

OP posts:

seriouscakeeater · 07/04/2013 18:32

Yanbu when dss are there, so pick them up and take them home. If he doesn't do it every other week then you should get of his back, you say he rarely drinks else where so this might be him letting some steam off.

TheChimpParadox · 07/04/2013 18:40

If your DH is on the committee then he should be aware of the Rugby's safeguarding policy in relation to children . Getting in such a state infront of his kids on a regular basis could turn into a safeguarding issue which could mean a referral to all sorts plus him being disciplined by the club and then he is off committee !

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 07/04/2013 19:50

I dont think a rugby club would kick someone off the committee for being drunk. Even if its in their 'safeguarding childrens policy'.

Tbh he isnt U for getting drunk. Its not great though with children in tow even though im sure they're safe. Is a bad regular example.

TheChimpParadox · 07/04/2013 19:52

Drunk whilst in charge of two children ? Drunk in other circumstances maybe not - but not if it is regular occurrence whilst he is in charge of his children.

Isityouorme · 07/04/2013 20:00

How far does he have to walk home with the kids? He should not be getting drunk like this with them.

Original poster

Queenofknickers · 07/04/2013 20:16

He doesn't always walk - quite a few of them drive home but I don't think he'd dare drive them again after last time when I threatened to go to police. Yesterday he got my DSD 18 to drive them home at the end of her bar shift there (she dropped them on drive in dark and scared wits out of them) and he walked. He'd lost the car keys anyway (phew I think) I don't want these experiences for my kids - I want them to feel and be safe and secure with good role models.

OP posts:

Isityouorme · 07/04/2013 20:20

How can you let your kids go with him when there is a risk that he will drive whilst drunk? He's done it at least once so is a big enough twat to do it a second, third, fourth time. I would be having serious words about his priorities. He is a knob.

DrCoconut · 08/04/2013 00:07

Putting alcohol before children would be a serious issue for me. My ex is my ex for that reason (among others).

Original poster

Queenofknickers · 08/04/2013 15:31

Thanks everyone - gave me encouragement to have SERIOUS words with DH and set clear boundaries. No alcohol if he has sole responsibility for them and if he wants to go out and get bladdered during daylight hours then he will have to find childcare until I am we'll enough to look after them alone (still bedridden). Non- negotiable.

OP posts:

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