An elderly relative has always been quite extreme in her need for tidiness. I am finding this increasingly difficult when I go and visit with my partner and teenage child.
She has a dining table - modern varnished wood, the kind that doesn't ringmark or stain. However the table has to be covered with a rubber protective cloth and then a table cloth. On top of that there has to be placemat and coasters. If there is a jug on the table, the jug has to be placed in bowl on a mat, so that there is no risk of spills getting onto the table.
Lately it seems to have got worse. On my last but one visits there were a lot of comments when my teenager made a microscopic spillage of some kind of sauce onto the (dark coloured, synthetic, washable) tablecloth. Yesterday I visited and there were further comments when it was discovered that I had spilled a drop of soup onto the cloth when serving out. On this occasion one tablecloth had been put on top of the ordinary tablecloth - in order to provide added protection.
I feel I should visit again as this person is quite old and - on one level - values my visits. On the other hand I feel very uncomfortable there. (I am expected to eat a meal when I go there, rather than just dropping in for tea.) An alternative would be to go out - but that is awkward and tense for a different set of reasons. I feel my relative wants of offer hospitality, but finds it very anxious-making in other ways.